Would you travel 7 miles to an outstanding primary school?

[Sofia2011]

Hi guys, my daughter is currently at a nursery of an outstanding primary school, we used to live in the area of the school but had to move due to landlord selling property and nothing available in the area. Anyway due to moving I've looked at the local primary where teachers are really friendly but it is small and not surrounded by the best estate. Facilities are minimal but it's a nice enough school. Or do i send her to the school seven miles away she may not get in but it's a large primary with 90 plus pupils in each year and last year they accepted students as far as seven miles out. The facilities are amazing, a Olympic swimming pool, a theatre and radio station as well as fully functioning baking kitchen. My hubby thinks we should be going for the outstanding school to give her the most opportunity, but he hasn't got a car so the driving to school and from school will be left to me as I have the car and also work full time in a stressful job. What do I do guys I can't choose, part of me thinks I should go for outstanding school but am going to dread the journey before and after work :/

Well it would be an extra 3 hours 20m every week of driving her back and forth, that's almost half a working day. Will he take on all the cooking or all the cleaning to compensate for the extra time you do?

I think dashing in after finishing work, collecting her from after-school club, driving back home and rushing to get her tea ready will be a strain. There is also reading practice to be done every day...and that looks like a school that demands quite lot of out-of school support in using maths websites etc. Kids get very tired during the first 2 years of Big School.

When you say you don't know if you will be in your current location long term, do you mean you might move cities, or when you buy you will be in the same general area?

One plan might be to send her to the local school for the first couple of years while saving for your deposit (in which case the cheaper childcare and savings in petrol will come on handy), and then if you buy, buy within close range of the other school - it is a big school so places could well come up often.

After 2 years you will be more than £3k better off by not having borne the extra childcare and petrol costs!

We work opposite shifts and he does help with cooking when he's off but that's normally on a Sunday and Monday. I am already shattered as I'm finding working as a manager in the care industry very demanding and tiring and I'm only staying in the position I am in to pay off my current debts and save a deposit for a house. Once I have that deposit I will be finding a part time less stressful jobs but unfortantely I am stuck in a stressful job untill I can find something else which has a smiliar salary but not as stressful which is very unlikely with the current job market. I do love the the school seven miles away but to be honest I am currently exhausted and I'm only taking her to nursery three times a week at the mo so doing it for the next seven years plus will he exhausting. I also liked the local primary school as I found the teachers were really keen to make a good impression and I felt they went that extra mile in taking the time to really chat to us. The other school was more like how I would expect a private school to look very posh and busy. You are right the extra cash we r spending in petrol and after school club could be saved for a deposit. I just worry that the local school is a bit rough I know that sounds small minded but we are not rough people. :/

I was thinking the same if it's that good it wouldn't have places

I disagree - it's not always the case. As an example, the secondary school my dc are in the catchment for is rated in the top 10 in Wales (no idea about the UK, but suffice it to say it's a good school). But it's fairly rural, and their catchment goes for miles and miles. You're pretty much guaranteed a place if you live in the general area.

The fact that it has spaces is irrelevant - it's just too much of a pain for ppl to get to. Is still an excellent school though.

He needs to figure out how he is going to take on at least half the burden of this choice.

If you are stressed and miserable then your family will be unhappy.

Thankyou so much everyone you don't know how much your advice and support has helped me. Initially I had put the outstanding school as first choice and the local one as second but after considering all what you have all said I'm going to go with the local choice. I know she will still have a good education and I think being closer to home will really take the pressure off me. Also I can pick her up from the after school club on the way home from work. I was worried about the cost of the other after school club at double price and the petrol, their is a lot of instability at work at the moment so who knows what the future holds? And being closer to school would Defo be a plus if I was made redundant. I am going to change my choice to the local school. Thankyou all

Sounds like a good decision for you and your DD - the teachers' enthusiasm is priceless. And honestly, I wouldn't worry about the 'rough' thing. Maybe at secondary, but they're just little children and the more they mix together the better.

being closer to home will really take the pressure off me. Also I can pick her up from the after school club on the way home from work.

Those things are surely the clinchers?

Apart from giving u and your dd more opportunities for healthy exercise, instead of the stress and boredom of car travel, u'll be doing your bit to reduce pollution and global warming as well.

Probably - depending how big the difference is between the two schools.

I like bigger schools - more money and a bigger friendship pool. Plus ability to mix up the classes every year to split up the naughty ones, or the overly close friendships, or get a good ability spread.

We're moving out of London and love DD's primary (she's in Y1) so much that we are keeping her there and commuting 50 minutes into London. DH works in London and I can work anywhere - probably better if I go and work in the local library rather than being at home with distractions. Plus, if I decided to go and work for someone else it would be in London so easier to all be there in case she's ill.

It's going to be more work for us in terms of getting her to parties and things at the weekends, but where we are moving is pretty rural so it's not as if she can pop round the corner to a friend's house anyway. Plus, if she went to the local school we would have endless problems in trying to find morning and after-school care that tied in with working hours (no provision at the local school).

Our current commute is very similar on the bus in rush-hour traffic and at least on the train she can sit and do her homework or reading more easily.

I put her education before any reasonable hassle in terms of travel, so if the school further away is considerably better than the local one then I would try and make it work.

I would definitely go for the outstanding school if moving closer to it in the future is a possibility. Generally, I would choose where to live with schools in mind. However, living that far away for the whole of primary will be very stressful.

If the pool is Olympic size (not built by a company of that name) it is a disadvantage to young children, they can swim in it but not put their feet down at any point, and 50m is a long way to swim. Swimming badges start at 10m I think.

I would go with the local school. I attended 3 different primaries and the one where I could walk to and from with friends was the best because I actually had friends I actually had friends I could see outside school.

If you choose the school 7 miles away what will you do if she wants to join brownies? Or go to a club on a weekday evening?

What about if she is sick? A neighbour's grandchild was sick and the school could not get in touch with gran (child lived with gran), I was able to pick him up and put him on the sofa with a magic blanket until she came home, but I couldn't do that with a long journey, and do you want a child doing any journey if they are ill?

How long will it/does it take to get there? If you are picking up at 6 then driving home how much time will you actually get with your dd?

Will she be able to play with local kids when she gets home? At my first primary my brother and I only played with the local kids in the summer holiday as most of the time we didn't get home before they had gone in for tea and to go to bed, and some of our holidays were different dates too.

I think i would put the better school first over 15-20 minutes drive but i wouldn't just go on ofsted reports, I'd look at keystage results, gut feel, talking to the children on open days and reputation with local parents would also come into it.

Our school is 10 miles away, an easy 20 minute journey. Lots of their school friends live close to us (10 minutes or so) and the furthest ones are 30-40 minutes.

It's a tiny price to pay for a fab school that we are all very happy with.

I really wanted to stay in the area we were initially living but unfortantely due to the landlord wanting to sell we had to move. Their was nothing available to rent in the area with the outstanding school and to be honest there was a shortage of houses available for rent so I had to find somewhere quick as having a young child my main responsability was to put a rough over her head. Therefore much to my upset we had to move to where there was a house available and I didn't really have any time to check schools out because I only had six weeks to find somewhere new to live. I moved to where we are living now because we got a three bed house for not a bad price. I don't love the area it's not a bad area at all but just off the busy a45 dual carriage way and on a busy main road. I hope to buy in the future but do not think I will be able to afford the area with the outstanding school as house are. 300,000 plus, I have always lived in nice areas I suppose growing up in a village and Myself I've just been worried about the schools location as I'm not used to rough areas. I'm not a snob by any stretch of the imagination but I suppose I was reluctant about the local school because I always wanted her to go to a school in a good area. Like any mother I want the best for the child. However all things considered I cannot run myself into the ground and although the other school is very exceptional I have to look at the logistics and I think being nearer home will be of greater benefit to us as a family. It will also be less stressful for me as I am already a hard working mum who works full time. I get exhausted working as a manager and looking after a three year old I think the commute would just add more pressure to me. I think that if your child is bright they will succeed no matter what school they are at, and I'm sure the local school will exceed my expectations.

Are any of the othe happy commuters besides Pyrrah f/t wohm?

If it is feasible to your day then I woildnt think twice. We are 4 miles from our school and it has made not one jot of difference to her ability to make friends, we just make an effort to have someone round at least once a week. If you love the school then go for it!

Oh and did did brownies nearby the school and then other clubs nearer home, which means she now knows a good mix of all the kids going into her catchment secondary, it's an advantage from our PoV rather than a disadvantage.

Blu thanks for all your support! You have gave me valuable advice and really helped me to make the best decision for us as a family.I'm sure when she starts the school she will love it and although the facilities are not outstanding like the other school caring nurturing teachers and being local to home are much more important to me. This has been a very hard decision to make but I've changed my application to the local school. Thanks all

Good luck, OP.

We make these decisions and it's always a gamble. Long awaited places at hard-to-get-into schools can end up making a child unhappy, while every year many people who have been allocated a place at a lower preference school and stay on waiting lists actually turn down a place that comes up because their child is happy, settled and thriving academically in the very school they dreaded.

Good luck!

I have done twice that distance and do not regret it a bit. DS had a fantastic education, the school provided him with a very good basis for learning and we are still seeing the good effects of that, years after he moved to state school.

I spent about 3 hours in the car a day which seems a lot but I still miss them, as DS and me had 45 minutes twice a day of uninterrupted conversation. I am still convinced that the good communication we have always had was owed to that time spent in the car.

Obviously, there were 45 minutes twice a day when I was alone in the car, but again, I do miss them. I am raising DS single handedly, work full time and especially in the early years, having those 45 minutes when I couldn't do chores and nobody needed me for ANYTHING, was heaven.

The great school's after school club was more expensive than the one from the school he eventually moved into, but, they had a lot of classes and activities while in the new one... well, they had activities but it wasn't anything exciting or particularly educative. I guess that you get what you pay for (in most occasions, I suppose)

I would say however, that if you are going to struggle dealing with the cost of the commute or more expensive childcare, it may be better to send her to the second best school to ensure she has some continuity.

oops, not wanting to derail you from your decision. Your approach is good, do what works better for the family [for me it worked fine to take DS so far but, that doesn't mean that it has to work for you]

How on earth did you fit in 3 hours driving a day alongside a f/t job and single parenthood?

Massive level of organisation Blu, breakfast and after school clubs essential. The driving wasn't such an ordeal, as I come from a place where long distance driving (and/or going through massive traffic bottle necks) is just part of daily life.

The only thing I could add is that the best school is not the one with the great Ofsted, the best facilities or the better academic results. It is the one that matches your child's needs and personality better, and which provides an environment where they can be supported to grow as happy and well rounded individuals.