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Can a teacher tell me why there is often little notice given for the 'come into school and do X with your DC' please?

43 replies

SirChenjin · 26/11/2014 18:46

Working f/t in the NHS, and we usually have to give at least a months notice for A/L - we can sometimes get away with less notice if no-one else has asked for the day off and if the service allows, but normally a month. DH has client meetings from now until about 2067, and again has to give a lot of notice for A/L.

Over the years, I've had invitations home from school with around a weeks notice to come in and view the DCs artwork/attend a charity coffee morning/go and see the class show etc etc. I've just had another one in on a beautiful handmade invitation from DC3 with a weeks notice - he was desperate for me to attend, and very fortunately I've been able to reschedule something and have put in for A/L.

Why do schools often give such little notice, esp. when they've been working on the arr/show/etc for weeks? Not trying to start a fight, just trying to get my head around this.

OP posts:
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Lookslikeimstuckhere · 26/11/2014 23:46

Sleepless could you maybe explain the situation to someone at the school and ask if you could know sooner? Usually schools are able to juggle things around. If not, it may give them a kick up the bum reminder that parents need to know asap!

JennyBlueWren · 27/11/2014 07:02

As a teacher I do try to give parents as much notice as I can. We do have a yearly calendar given out in August (Scotland) but so many things aren't on there and dates get moved around. Also parents don't always read/make a note of this so when a couple of weeks before I put it in the newsletter or write it on the board (Nursery so parents are in and see this) parents often act surprised. I've had parents act as though I've just made up about an event the next day despite it being on the board and in the newsletter because they hadn't read those things.

And no parents don't need to come to everything! We do invite parents to a lot because we want parents to be involved and feel welcome and also because it is expected of us. There are a handful of parents who will be at everything and there are some we only meet at parent evenings. This is okay.

I do feel for parents who can't come to stay and play or help with our community walks etc however that's not a reason for us to not have them. We are expected to be including parents in the life of the nursery and would be in trouble if we weren't inviting them in. Although children love to have parents (or grandparents, aunty, family friend) along they're not normally too bothered if they don't have anyone. I tend to find there are a few parents who get stuck in with a group of children anyway. If it's a special event then we might invite their sibling from up the school down for them.

I do have to add that sometimes us teachers get very little notice -thus I am hurriedly trying to teach children a Scottish song for St. Andrew's Day assembly with less than a week's notice and then am told that the time of it is not long before our pick up time (and no apparently it can't be moved) so we'll be attending to sing our song and then leave!

TheOldestCat · 27/11/2014 07:10

Our school does this too, but I understand - teachers have a lot on their plate and they can't get it right for everyone. When I can't make it to the assembly or whatever, I ask one of the other mums to give my DC a thumbs up or say hello to them and 'well done' afterwards. It's not perfect, but we don't have an grandparents locally who can go and it's hard to book days off at short notice. Plus we need to keep our holiday allowance for school holidays.

NK5BM3 · 27/11/2014 07:35

I'm not sure what the teachers mean by dates get moved around though...? I mean, ok if sports day is next week and it happens to be really bad weather, sure you can reschedule and you should. But other than that, we all know when Christmas is (so making Christmas decorations/cards take place 2 weeks before or so?); ditto Easter, summer fair, Christmas fair, children in need, world book day etc.

Factor in things like year 2 need 10 spelling tests a term etc, then you know what needs to happen, right? Factor in whole school things like assembly, then we should be more or less sorted?

Really not having a go, but I think it's horrid for the child not to have a parent or representative turn up all the time. The grandparents don't live locally at all (6h drive, 13h plane ride!!). We don't have anyone else. We have v good friends who help out though, so Diwali, parents were invited to go in and make decorations. Our friends helped out to have our kid in their same group.

It's the pity of 'oh mummy/daddy couldn't come again?' That gets me.

dingalong · 27/11/2014 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rabbitstew · 27/11/2014 11:13

NK5BM3 - you are having a go... Grin You also don't seem to have made very much effort to imagine or understand what goes on in primary schools, or to differentiate between what is organised by the school and what would normally be organised by a changing group of volunteer parents around their own paid work and the school's already tight schedule (eg Christmas and summer fairs). If you expect others to understand your needs and wants, it would be nice if you could show the same courtesy to others. Btw, I'm not a teacher, but am a school governor.

redskybynight · 27/11/2014 12:38

When I went to school to help with a school event, I noticed a sheet on the wall that listed every class assembly (with parents invited) for the whole year. I understand that these may change, but still don't understand why this list can't simply be circulated to all parents, with a reminder nearer the time. I really really don't get it.

What happened in practise for DD's assembly was that a notice got stuck up outside the classroom on Monday for a Friday assembly (so short notice and not a blind bit of good for parents who don't come into hte school playground). And then we did get a letter home on the Wednesday. If there had been a list circulated at the start of the year, this would have circumvented the "help panic, we haven't told parents" activity that actually happened.

rabbitstew · 27/11/2014 13:09

But would lots of advance notice help, redskybynight, if you acknowledge that the dates may change? Personally, I find nothing more irritating than organising a day/morning/afternoon off work in advance only to find that it is now the wrong day off work. I would rather shorter notice of a date fixed in stone than to rearrange my whole diary for the year and then find all the best laid plans falling like ninepins.

SirChenjin · 27/11/2014 13:12

I'm really not "teacher bashing" - honestly! I'm just trying to understand the reasons for last minute events which require the attendance of working parents. The 'big' events like Christmas concerts are always circulated at the start of term via the newsletter and DH or I book time off in advance - but the 'smaller' ones are often last minute, despite them supporting the work that a)is linked to the national Curriculum for Excellence and b)has been done all term.

As for 'it doesn't bother the children if you can't go' - actually, it does, it bothers my DC very much, even though I explain that Mummy and Daddy can't attend because we have a meeting that we can't cancel. They don't care on jot if I have a meeting - they just want me there, and while a buddy or one of my friends in loco parentis is OK, it's not the same as having their parent there.

This latest event involved the class making an invitation - a very excited wee boy put a lot of time and effort into it, with his best handwriting and lots of drawings. He was thrilled about Mummy or Daddy coming into school to see the songs, dancing and poems they'd been rehearsing for ages - which made me wonder why on earth the teacher had only given us a weeks notice to organise A/L, and given his excitement, how relieved I was that I could get the time off.

OP posts:
redskybynight · 27/11/2014 16:31

rabbitstew If I'm told months in advance I can book the day off. Yes, sometimes the date will change and it will turn out to be the wrong day, but at least I will get it right some of the time (and IME the dates don't actually change that much so I will probably get it right more times than I don't). If I get 2 or 3 days notice there is no chance at all that I can get the day off work so I will get it right none of the time.

Of course, what I'd actually like is for the school to give about a month's notice (or at least 2 or 3 weeks), but that seems to be the thing that is impossible.

redskybynight · 27/11/2014 16:32

OP - yes, I totally agree - that's the most annoying thing, when you know your child has been practising for something for weeks, and yet no one will tell you when it is actually being performed!!

shebird · 27/11/2014 16:34

DCs school has greatly improved in this area, with events planned a good bit in advance and updated on the weekly newsletter and school website. It's the timing of events that gets me. Why are things scheduled in the middle of the day? DD recently had a class assembly at 130pm that lasted all of 10 minutes.

rabbitstew · 27/11/2014 16:59

redskybynight - come back and tell me if it really is less irritating when on several occasions you've had a day off you can't change when the event was moved to the following week or day, and you then had to go to work on the days you hadn't booked off when it actually took place. I promise you, it is really, bl**dy irritating, particularly if either your or your dh has a working pattern that means ensuring one day off in the month affects the entire month and reduces the number of weekends to zero that you are both at home rather than at work.

redskybynight · 27/11/2014 18:35

rabbit - I guess you've proved that different things work for different people. If I book a day off, I can later cancel it, so it's annoying but not that bad. But I can't generally book a day off with short notice.

But that's not the point really. It would be much better for a school to give a few weeks notice when the date was confirmed than EITHER tell you ages in advance with the potential that it would change OR only let you know with a couple of days notice so you can't do anything about it. I can't think of any parents that would disagree (waits for barrage of disagreeing messages)

NK5BM3 · 27/11/2014 20:26

Well rabbit, I'm sorry, I don't really know much about how schools are run. I don't work in a school. Just like I don't expect people to understand/know much about my work either.

But as a working parent of a child who attends school, and with school expecting parents to send a parent/grandparent/aunty to see the school plays, attend a teddy bears picnic etcetera and when we do not have those sorts of resources around, it gets difficult to tell the child another sorry kid, mummy/daddy can't make it.. Again.

beginnerrunner · 27/11/2014 20:32

In the case of my school it is because we have 101 things to get through in a week and then suddenly someone realises 'Oh bugger it's Children in Need on Friday. Better send a letter out.' It's also because sometimes too many cooks spoil the broth. Everyone thinks someone will do it and nobody actually does.

This poem explains it a bit!

Everybody, Anybody, Somebody, Nobody and Someone Else

Let me tell you the story

Of four young lads by the name

Of Tom, Dick, Harry and Joe.

Their full names in fact were as such;

Tom Somebody,

Dick Everybody,

Harry Anybody,

and Joe Nobody.

Together they were the best of friends,

But I must confess

when to came to a task they weren't very good.

You see when ever they were given a job,

They all began to fight.

Because this is how it always went;

Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it,

And Anyone could have done it

But in the end Nobody always ended up with the task.

When Nobody did it,

Somebody was angry because it was Everybody's job.

But Everybody thought that Somebody would do it instead.

Now Nobody realized that Nobody would do it.

So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody

When Nobody did what Anybody could have done

In the first place.

Now don't start arguing yet

because I have another story

of these friends to tell;

Now as you may have guessed

these four were fun, active, busy people

But what they accomplished was a shame and Everyone knew it.

You see Everybody had a good idea,

But Everybody thought Somebody would follow it through,

However Somebody thought Anybody would work on it.

And Anybody thought Everybody should do it.

So Nobody ended up working on it...AGAIN!

Now one day a contest was announced,

All the boys were sent to enter.

Now Everybody thought Anybody could win the prize.

Anybody thought Somebody would win.

And Somebody thought Everybody would get a prize.

Nobody was the smartest of the four.

And Nobody was very faithful.

Nobody worked very hard.

Thus Nobody won the prize!

No I have one more tale to tell you

of another friend of the four

this is a sad sad tale of the death of

a man called Someone Else;

You see all the boys work at a firm

and at this firm worked Someone Else.

Now the four were greatly saddened

to learn of the death of one of the most

valuable member - Someone Else.

Someone's passing created a vacancy

that will be difficult to fill.

He had been around for years and for

everyone of those years,

Someone did far more that a normal person's

share of work.

Whenever Anybody mentioned leadership,

Somebody always looked to this wonderful

person for inspiration and results;

"Someone Else can do that job!"

When there was a job to do, a need to be filled

or a place of leadership, one name was always given....

....Someone Else.

Everyone knew Someone else was the largest giver

of time and money.

Whenever there was a financial need,

Everybody, Anybody and Somebody always

assumed that Someone Else would make up the difference.

Now Someone Else is gone.

And the boys all wonder what they will do,

No longer can they utter the words;

"Let Someone Else do it"

If it is going to be done, one of them

will have to do it....And I guess most of the time

it will be Nobody.

SirChenjin · 27/11/2014 20:51

beginner - thank you for your honesty! That poem did make me laugh Grin

OP posts:
beginnerrunner · 27/11/2014 20:53

No problem SirChen. If it's any consolation I hate the whole thing too. Not fair to parents.

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