How do you phrase "my DC is bored and lonely at this school"

[5ChildrenAndIt]

In a constructive and effective way?

Parents evening coming up - and I don't want to be fobbed off with platitudes. (but it's obviously not going to help to come across as a nutter either!!)

I did the sit in - complete with a little packed lunch for the baby . Told the office that I needed 2 minutes with someone from DSs class - and I was happy to wait.

TA came out after half an hour - said she hadn't seen letter or email - but she'd make sure invites went out.

Are you proud of me .

:-) Result!

Great.

Does your school ever have mums nights out? I know lots of people on here scoff at them but if you want to get to know people, so your child can get to know people they're a good way of getting peoples numbers etc.

Well done.

It sounds hard work. Our PTFA reps circulate a class contact list, which is great for inviting kids to play, or chasing up party invites. Is there a PTA at your DS's school you could get a little more involved in?

Hurrah! Well done. Hopefully the party will help to establish links with the other parents and open the way for having play dates.

Have some to celebrate

I was also going to suggest if you could ask if there is a Facebook Page. There is one for the DCs current school and was also one for the last school. A lot of what was on there was just "Can anyone recommend a plumber/tree surgeon/cleaner" kind of thing - but there are also useful dates of School events and stuff. Even if you don't "do" Facebook and shudder at the thought it maybe worth a school-only foray into it just to keep in touch.

Well done though.

No PTA, no mums night and not really much drive for socialising.

Kind of the reverse - since the last newsletter had a big thing about how aggressive behaviour from adults won't be tolerated in school, and can people please leave out-of-school arguments out-of-school .

I know it's tough but I have 4 children at 3 different schools and I have to say anybody can email/ phone, leave messages to call back. There is no excuse not to keep on top of what is happening In your very young child's life/education.

If the school is it answering your concerns have you a friend who can call on your behalf?

But that's the thing - I don't get called back - I don't get emailed back - and the only tactics that have secured daytime meetings have been to threaten to withdraw DS or to camp in reception like I did today!

I hear people are saying escalate and protest - but the prejudice to DS is quite nebulous. My main issue Is spectacularly crap communications - my views on which featured heavily in the hour I spent in the heads office last year - but basically it's how they are.

I've offered him the choice of homeschooling - but be basically says he likes school (although he wishes he had more chances with his friends). I think he is coasting academically - but a full house of L3 SATs is hardly going to be seen as an educational emergency by anyone other than his mum.

Take a few more documented steps yourself (for eg email the teacher or head to summarise what was discussed today and what steps will be taken by you and them). Follow it up. If not satisfactory then say that you will have to take it the Governors

Then if still crap take it to the Governors. Seriously. It is the only way to really escalate things if the head is not helping you. Letters of complaint to the chair of Governors should be taken seriously. Especially if you have a trail of documents showing a lack of action/concern about what you have raised.

Just putting up with it and saying "it is how they are" is not going to achieve anything. You need to stand up for it and do something - the only alternatives are to
a) take your child out
b) just let the status quo continue.

If your DS doesn't already have a home/school diary (often used for reading), then perhaps you could initiate one? Write your messages in it with a clear date and when you expect to hear back. If the teacher uses it for two-way communication - great, if they don't then you will have a clear record of documented concerns, when they were raised and the fact that they have been ignored.

Can you take the kids with you to drop off/pick up?

Also if he is really unhappy there is always home educating.

4 kids across 3 primaries here too (4 if you count DDs preschool!). Cancelling taxi is not a practical option.

We did homeschool for a while... Ironically DS1's choice to enrol at this distant school because he wanted to make more friends his age.

I might suggest a homeschool diary... I like how it's non-confrontational but something that I will have visibility on.

Well done OP.
I would just reiterate at parents evening that happy children with friends are usually more engaged with school and therefore learning so helping him find his feet socially (given the distance problems) is in everyone's interest.

When did you do the appeal for a closer school? It might be worth appealing again now that he's in Year 3, as the class size limits aren't as rigid. Is there more than one other local(ish) school that you could get him to that might have friends nearby? Especially one with a larger intake, so more choice of friends and more chance to getting in?

Are you still on the waiting lists for closer schools?

We lost an appeal for Y1, Y2 and Y3! I must be especially un-persuasive! (I live in a school blackspot. I know we lost our Y3 appeal at the weighing up stage - I.e. panel accepted our arguments, but found that other cases were more needy than us - which I can believe).

Given the taxi and the fact that he is intrinsically shy, I don't realistically see that anything will be improved unless he can join his siblings' school. Better the devil you know & so on.

He did come home happy yesterday - said that the TA sorted him a buddy to help him hand out his party invites. Not boasting about my sweetheart little boy - but he made a point of saying thank you that I'd gone into school to sort it (isn't he a sweetheart??).

Boast away OP, he sounds like a sweetheart