Ds1 is unhappy and wants to move school. Please help!!

[Magiciansgirl81]

I have ds's 6 and 8. Ds1 has speech delay and I think he's dyslexic. He's gets support from school and a speech therapist.

Ds1 has broken down today telling me that a boy he's had problems with but continued to try to be friends with is stopping the other children from playing or sitting with my ds on the school bus. Everyday he day he sits alone. This boy has treat my son like this since they both joined the school in Y2. The boy is very popular and my ds wants to be his friend very much. My dh and I have encouraged ds to make other friendships, which he has. But he always goes back to this boy only to be destroyed weeks later. We've been into the school numerous times but nothing changes. I don't expect the school to make this boy be friends with my ds but I do want the school to make the boy aware that he doesn't treat my son like he has. Nothing changes ever.

It's a small village school, my ds2 started there in reception and is thriving. Ds1 wants to move to the next village school that's very small but he has a lot of friends there who are our neighbours. I can't imagine my boys going to separate schools but we can't carry on like this.

Thank you if you've bothered to read this and any advice would be appreciated. First time I've posted too!

Hopefully somebody will be along soon with better advice but until then, this is mine.

Speak to the school and explain what is happening on the bus. That needs to stop.

Then speak to your son and make it clear that he needs toleave the other boy alone They are not friends. Instead work with the school and your son to strengthen his other friendships -playground buddies, invite friends home, whatever works for you. Basically give it one final hard try at making it work at this school.

If this fails, I would move him.

To be clear, the "leave the other boy alone" bit was supposed to be in bold for emphasis. One thing I do know is that the situation cannot improve with your son tagging along after him trying to be friends.

I would hand deliver an urgent letter to school on Monday asking for their help with a problem. Detail what he's told you- write it in teacher speak so don't refer to bullying but make your points so clear it can't be taken any other way. Praise what the school is doing and say what a pity this is spoiling it. Don't refer overly negatively to the child in question but ask them to get to the bottom of it. And ensure you say it's not a situation you can't tolerate much longer. I'd expect a good school to get to the bottom of it in a day and call you to tell you their action plan.

Decide next steps on what they come back with. Do a good enough letter and they won't ignore it. Through in "social alienation" and the bullying buzzwords too. Good luck.

Thank you for the advice! Both of you were very clear in what you was saying and I do appreciate that. As soon as half term is over I can put the advice in to place. My dh is very supportive but the first thing he wanted to do was to knock on the other boys door and I can't see that helping but I can understand why he wanted to do that. Not going to happen though!