Going back to preschool?

[Francesca1234]

My son started school in September, he's aged 4 and is a summer baby. He was attacked in the toilets by several boys last week. It was a bit of a trauma and he has even developed a tick because of it. I've been going into school with him the last couple of days and realised he is a lot younger than the other children in his class in what he says and the way he acts etc. He is also behind educationally. We want to move him but are actually wondering if he would benefit from going back to preschool for a while. Has anyone done this?

I think you would be best speaking to perhaps your health visitor and asking for advice. In theory it sounds good but in reality I suppose I would worry it would make the gap between him and his academic year wider. As a summer baby he doesn't HAVE to be in full time education yet although I am not sure of the procedure if he has already started and then changes back.

What are the school doing about what happened? have the boys been disciplined? how are they ensuring it won't happen again?

A mother I know managed to find a school head who agreed to hold her child back in nursery until next year. The child is a bit upset that his friends moved on but even teachers said he is too young and would benefit from maturing a bit to start education. I would talk to the school head and call around other schools asking if they would accept him in pre-school. I don't think opinion of a health visitor would be taken into account as they are not qualified to establish readiness for school.

In most schools, Local authorities, he would then go straight into Yr1 when he started though, which I think would be a much harder jump, than starting in Reception where everybody is new and they are still following the EYFS.

The being attacked in the toilets is a whole other issue which obviously needs a very robust response. I would have thought though, it would be better to stay there (safely) and learn that was a terrible one off which should never have happened, and that school isn't generally like that, than to start again after a year of believing that's what school is going to be like, IYSWIM.

Just to clarify local authority said the decision will have to be made by a head teacher. The head teacher agreed for the child to start in reception next year not year 1.

Thanks for your responses. We have made a complaint to the school. The boys involved have admitted to attacking our son, however what our son alleges happened is much worse than what they've admitted to. The Doctor suggested he go back to school as soon as possible, so I was allowed to go back with him. The worrying thing is that I witnessed the main child involved just walking out of the classroom and following my son after he'd asked to go to the toilet. The school has offered to do several things including watching my son at lunchtime, but I can't see how they can stop it altogether if this child can just wander about. We've been told this child has serious problems at home and needs sympathy and I think this may have made them slightly blind to what the kid is capable of. Actually, another child came up to me in tears in the playground and told me the child had tried to strangle him! I will take the complaint as far as I can as I'm concerned for other children as well.

Do you have any other school options?

There is a school which looks like it may be good for him. They are full at the moment though. They do have a preschool attached. I have wondered about phoning the headteacher to see if they can take him somehow.

I wouldn't normally think going back to preschool was a good move once a child has started school but tbh in your situation I would pull your son out and get him on the waiting list for a different school. Sadly IME a child who is already behaving like that in Reception tends to carry on with that kind of behaviour and it is very, very difficult for schools to manage them effectively.

He doesn't have to be in school yet so you could see if the other school's preschool has a space for now.

Children simply can't learn if they don't feel safe. And the issue is not the child who bullies your son - it's the school. They are present there during the school day so it's not a matter of you feeling sympathy but them having a sustainable plan how to manage the situations.

health visitors might not be 'qualified' to establish school readiness but they often have an enormous amount of experience of small children under 5, more so than a lot of primary teachers and therefore they might be able to offer advice on the child's development and reassurance about whether he is emotionally behind or just young for his age, advice on how to help build his confidence etc. I know some people have rubbish health visitors but mine was excellent and I am still in touch with her now even though my children are older. I would trust her opinion and advice.

Agree with hiccup - do your best to move him. These other kids aren't going to go away, and they aren't going to change.

That is awful.

I would be going to the governors about this and to Ofsted because for a child to be attacked in school is unacceptable. Moving him would also be a good idea, can you home school in the meantime? But definitely complain because what happens if another child is attacked.

Your poor boy.

You absolutely can send him back to preschool. If he isn't attending reception he will still be eligible for his 15 hours of preschool education until the term after his fifth birthday.

If you then want him to enter Reception next year, you will need to contact your LEA about delayed admission - they are not supposed to have a blanket policy but look at the individual needs of the child. If you are on Facebook there is a group called ' Flexible Admissions for Summer Borns' where you'll find plenty of other families who have delayed admission. Some LEA's are more understanding than others.

I do know a couple of families who have chosen to continue with preschool rather than enter Reception.

My son was Home Educated until thevery end of Yr 1, so he was almost 7. He had no trouble adapting to the school environment at that stage or fitting into friendship groups - in fact, he did much better socially for being older and more mature than when he tried Reception at the 'correct' age.

The bullying is a separate issue. If it isn't dealt with to your satisfaction, I wouldn't hesitate to pull him out of that school.

Nonickname, what meant is that a school is not going to listen to a health visitor's opinion about child's readiness for school.

but I was meaning for the OP to get advice from the HV. It is very easy as a parent to completely miss a whole area of things because we get blinkered into what we think must be the right thing to do, the HV can reassure with what is normal, what is a bit behind, what the OP can do to help. The school are a separate issue. The OP needs to work out what is best for the child first and then tell the school what she wants to do/wants them to do. A HV could give her someone to talk to about how it is affecting her child without the school's opinion of 'oh well it is under control it will all be fine' coming into it at all.