Help plz my soon don't want to go to reception

[Meissajj]

We moved three weeks ago to a new house in a new area , my soon start reception a bit late in his new school
The first 4 days he was brilliant , happy and went for lunch normal
After those days he start crying , he don't want to eat there , even the dinner lady ask him what hi want to eat he said nothing and he start crying
He wake me up a thousand time at night crying I don't want mummy to go for lunch in school , I don't want to go to school , we are in this situation for one week now every night every day
I went during lunch time with him to day , and he was fine eating and even feeding me
I believe May be something happen during the lunch time to change like that
BCz my son love this school , he is not kind of shy kid , he communicate quickly , I never be with him before in his nursery or during his lunch
I don't know what we have to do
I spoke to his teachers , they look nice and I was trying to explain to then that maybe something happen during lunch time so he become upset , I still waiting for them to help him
I had many conversation with him but every time he start crying ( plz mummy no school , no lunch there etcccc)
Any body plz give me advice plz
I appreciate any advice
Thank you

I think there are two likely possibilities- the first is that he's seen someone else being told off for misbehaving or not eating their food and is worried that he might get told off too. At four it's still hard for him to know what's 'naughty' in school and what isn't, which can be very unsettling.

The other option, which I think is more likely, is that being in a larger, noisier room with children who are not in his class and no adult guiding them in the way teachers do in lessons, is stressful for him at the moment. He will get used to it after a while when he's settled in, but I agree something needs to be done to help him in the meantime. Perhaps you could ask the school to try and make sure he is sitting with his own classmates/ friends and that he has someone to go into the playground with afterwards- it's a long time for a small child to fill up by themselves.

Good luck.

Sorry, just re-read and noticed you've just moved and that he's started school a bit late- that's going to be stressful for him at the moment and he might be finding it harder to make friends as the children have started to make up their own groups by now. It will be more noticeable for him at lunch time because of the longer play time and differences in rooms that I mentioned above. The good news is that at this age it won't take long for him to fit in :)

Can you tell I moved schools a lot as a young child?

Thank you SilverDragonfly1 for your advice , and that exactly what happen one he refused to eat and someone told him to eat I think they told him of BCz since that he changed
I did spoke to his teachers and told them can he sidown next a boy that he like him ( I gave here his name) she said ok fine , and they didn't
God I'm complytly lost what I should to do , talking every day to his teachers try to explain and explain is like me I give them what they have to do BCz there is 3 of them and they are not there every day all together , so every day I have to talk to one of them separately : is to much but I hope he stilted own very very son
BCz he ask me if his teacher can sit next to him during lunch time and he start crying
And is our first time we moved and hi change school and area
Thank you

I would try and play it down with him as much as possible if I were you. When he starts getting upset be very breezy and move him off of the subject immediately by saying something like 'I know you don't want to but let's just give it a good try today. Hey DS after school shall we go to the park/shops/friends house/play that game you like?' Then after school make sure you praise him for eating lunch at school.

If it is an anxiety issue then giving him lots of time and attention over it will be feeding it, building it up and making it worse. If it were me I would completely ignore it for a week or so appart from the praise and see how it goes.

Good luck!

Thanks JubJubBirds I will
And I will start to day to do it , fingers crossed that he will start settled very soon

Fingers crossed from me too

Our school used to let the reception children eat a packed lunch in their classroom without going to the hall because a lot of them found the busy lunch hall overwhelming. So I think a lot of children are probably like your son and find lunchtime too much. Plus starting to make friends a few weeks after the other children will be tricky at first.

I think you are doing the right thing asking the teachers to keep and eye on things and encourage him to sit with a child who is confident about lunchtime. It does sound like something he will get used to quite quickly though so take heart from that.

Could you invite some of the children from school to play at yours? Having some good friends with him will probably help him start enjoying lunchtime.

I think is a really good idea to invite some one to play with him at our place thank you GhoulWithADragonTattoo
But as we are new in the area it take me times to know peoples so then I can invite some one to our place
We will see how things going with him to day hope all good
Thanks everyone

Can you bring him home for lunch if you are nearby? Children don't have to stay in school over lunchtime (although most do) and several children in DDs class went home for lunch in the first term while they were settling in.

Is there an option to send him in with packed lunches for a while and make sure his favourite things are in there? He could even help you to prepare it. Then he will know he has something to look forward to at lunch time, and feeling that he has some control over what's in his lunch box might make him feel he has more control over lunchtime in general.

good luck Meissajj

I remember DD did this in reception- ok with school but terrified at lunch

one time the TA called me as D was in such a panic they thought she was choking

she just stopped one day. it was just the unfamiliarity, big kids, noise etc etc. I think it's quite a stressful place to be, after a warm friendly classroom

it does get better, I promise. By half term he'll be so over it you'll have forgotten all about it, i bet

Aww thank u all for your support
To day he was brilliant , so I did like u all told me to do a prize to be good , he look fine no mooning ;
I hope he stay like that and we move foreword
Thank u all again I appreciate your advice and your help

Great news that he's had such a good day today!

Yay, fantastic!

well done ds