Left hand or right hand?!

[YackityYakYak]

DS2, in Yr 1, seemed to have developed as a left handed.

Summer born child, reluctant mark maker, quite behind in writing (speech problems, so focussed on that in Yr R). His writing is very poor, so with his spellings we practice every letter first, then practice joining them up, and then practice writing the word.

He would hold the pencil in his left hand, but use his right hand to 'guide' the pencil as he wrote. I kept asking him to only use one hand on the pencil and finally I said 'you don't need to use your right hand on the pencil unless you want to hold the pencil in it'.

And now all of a sudden he has decided he is 'right handed'. To be honest the writing doesn't look any worse or better and I'm struggling to know which way to go here. He SAYS no one has said he should use one hand over the other, I have pointed out there is no 'correct' hand, just the one he prefers to use.

I have mentioned it to the teacher and she will monitor him, but I really can't leave it, he needs to practice writing as he is so behind.

Will it matter if he keeps chopping and changing for awhile? How would this affect his progress?

I would just encourage him with as much fun mark making as you can. Does he like to draw? I wouldn't worry which hand he uses. Some children are ambidextrous.

But he can't just 'mark make', he needs to write, and he needs to write words!

So he has just started y1?

Objectively, measurably how "far behind" is he?

I too have a very very late summer born DS, left hander who had (and occasionally still has) pretty poor handwriting. He's y6!

Children of this age are still developing the fine motor skills necessary for writing.

Perhaps ease up on the writing practise - I'm sure he's doing more than enough of this at school - and try things like threading beads, Lego, plasticine modelling, colouring, sewing...all of these help develop the muscles in the hand and improve fine motor skills.

Oh and let him use whichever hand he wants. My DS writes with his left hand but plays guitar right handed.

I am letting him use whichever hand he wants, I'm trying to encourage it.

But I have those pencils that have the cut in pencil positioning points (does that even make sense?) and they are specifically for either LH or RH. When he swapped to RH on the weekend I changed his pencil for a RH one so that he could hold his fingers in the correct position, which of course draws attention to it..... But he has such a poor grip without it...

How far behind? I guess I really only have DS1 to truly measure by, and he falls somewhere in the middle of the ability band. He's intelligent, but lacks the application. He's always been demonstrably right handed though.

DS1 was able to form the letters in Yr R, and so when he was given spellings he just learned to put the all together into a word. He is in Y3 and all of a sudden he has begun to focus on neatness so I do know that they aren't really focussed on neatness in Y1, just legibility.

With DS2 we are having to practice each letter several times before we can even get to joining the word together, which effectively means that he's doing more work than the other children, because he has more ground work to cover before he can write the word. TBH DS2's writing is barely legible. If you didn't know which word he was writing you'd be hard pressed to work it out....

When writing with his left hand he instinctively used the over curved wrist posture which I have seen some left handed people develop which looks ever so awkward - I assume to avoid smudging their writing and to be able to 'see' it and not cover it with their hand. I tried to teach him to turn the paper rather than curl his hand over that much with very limited success. Changing to his right hand he holds the pencil better, even if its not neater.

He can spell the words verbally, though. So in that regard he's not behind.

I might just focus on writing a few of the words, and working on proper letter formation, and practice spelling the rest of the words orally rather written.

I'm just worried about how much this will delay him. We are looking at getting speech therapy privately this year, and I'm just concerned that he's got that ground to make up, and the writing on top of it will make it ever so much harder.

I'm very much aware that he needs a lot of nurturing and encouragement to ensure that he doesn't suffer from being a summer born. It worries me, perhaps too much....

Oh and DS1 finished all his high frequency words before the end of the year, DS2 barely got 1/3 of the way through them, which has made a big difference to his reading ability.

Drawing and other mark making will improve how he holds a pencil and this in turn will improve his writing. There's little point making him write without helping him to develop good pencil and fine motor skills. I can tell you are desperate for him to just write but he's clearly struggling and I'd focus on the things that can lay the foundations if good writing rather that forcing writing on poor foundations.

Summer born is not the problem though really. He seems to have more problems than that, or are you saying that all summer born children need speech therapy and struggle to write? Mine didn't. My summer born was well ahead.

I would focus on using normal pencils, books that have arrows for the letters showing him how to write them and if he holds the pencil in an awkward way, so be it. I think over-correcting will slow him down even more. If he is trying to do joined up writing, I would stop this and concentrate on each individual letter in the word but write it how it should be when joined to another. I would do more fun things like colouring or drawing something. What is his drawing and observation like?

Speech therapy is because he was partially deaf due to constant ear infections until he had grommets put in. The speech therapy is because of the residual problems with word formation, not severe enough for the NHS to do anything other than give us some work books, but bad enough that there are frequent times when you can't understand him. In actual fact the speech therapist was impressed by his ability given just how little hearing he had, and with his vocabulary. But spending time on that clearly means that there is less time spent on other things, like writing or drawing. The grommets were also in place before he started Yr R so hearing wasn't an issue with writing and sounds.

With high frequency words, he is where most of the other summer borns in his class are (oddly we have quite a large percentage in his year) - most of them only got issued sheet 4 out of 10, so I don't think he's BEHIND for his age. But is behind for his year.

But his writing, that IS behind. It is far less legible than other children for his age. Who knows, maybe its because he should have been writing with his right hand all that time! (?!)

With colouring in he just scribbles some lines and pretends he's coloured in.... His drawing is poor, and he spends little time on it. I guess I'll see if that changes with him moving to his right hand.

another good pencil style to try is called 'twist and write' (or Penagain for the bigger, pen version) - it's kind of Y-shaped, and the index finger goes in the crook of the Y. It reduces pressure on the thumb, and for many children, it's easier to hold and get a good hand shape, which makes it more comfortable to write (though it can take a little getting used to).

I'd let him keep experimenting with hands, but try and get him to just use one at a time. But with a pencil like that, you don't have to worry about which hand it is in (though it does have a right-way up and an upside down!).

You can draw, make big shapes, etc with it, in addition to all the other fine motor control skills - but also think about larger motor control skills, particularly strength in the shoulders and neck, so that he's not using one hand to hold up his head, if you know what I mean.

You can also practise spelling skills with magnetic letters, typing, on a tablet, with scrabble tiles, etc., so that he is still learning the other skills even if his physical writing is lagging behind.

Just looked up the 'twist and write' - it looks fascinating! I think I'll have to give it a try!

Much better for him to be able to change which hand he uses without me having to 'interfere'.

I think it might be time for another chat with his teacher - now to choose which one, they job share.....

So he's only just 5 and he's had hearing problems. He doesn't sound that far behind to be honest. I don't think many children write (certainly not legibly) at that age. Plus he's trying to do joined up writing which make legibility even worst initially. What does the teacher say? Are they worried? Encourage him to colour and drawer and do sticker books. I'm sure he'll enjoy doing it a bit more if it's favourite superhero or whatever.

draw not drawer

I am ambidextrous but still have a favourite hand to write with. I am about 50:50 for other things so maybe your son is the same? I write left handed most of the time but will do it right handed if it is more convenient but I cut with my right hand, chop vegetables right handed, my left arm is stronger in sport but my right leg - it's all fairly random.
My handwriting is pretty bad though :(

So at what point do I start to worry? (Worried about worrying, how ironic!!!)

The school he's heading to in Yr 3 will require him to catch up quite quickly once he gets there, so I know that I can't let him fall too far behind his peers.

If I could find an 'easier' way of letting him catch up, that would be brilliant.

So action plan:

• Talk to teacher(s) - hasn't always been successful up to date tbh.... they feel a bit too laid back for my liking, although the school is brilliant in other ways (but DS1 is 'behind' at his new school, as are most of the other children that have headed off to different schools after this infant school - brilliant for nurturing but not so brilliant at gentle 'pushing'/encouragement)

• 'Twist and Write' pencil

• focus on a few of the words re writing, but not fuss if they aren't all written

• finish unwritten words orally, so that he doesn't fall behind in 'spelling'.

• get a move on with high frequency words....

Oh and encourage lots of random mark making - probably on the Star Wars theme......!

I didn't decide which had I used until I was year 2. It was whichever hand I picked the pencil up in. I now would almost always use my right, but I suspect in a left hand world I'd probably use my left. It hasn't set me back in any way.

Head to a less competitive, lower achieving school, at age 7!!! You are obviously comparing your children to the bright independent school children they are with. If he is not behind for his age, why are you so desperate for him to do better? Sounds all too agitated for me!

Sorry Milly, are you talking about DS1 or DS2?

DS2 is not at an independent school, although will be when he moves on in Yr 3. And no, I won't be sending him to a different school than his brother - couldn't think of anything more divisive for a family. In fact the school he will be heading to has a specialist dyslexia school attached so they are very good at dealing with children who have additional needs, and when the children are ready they move over to mainstream school.

But ALL of DS1's class are a little behind, no matter which school they have gone to. State or private. Quite honestly I think that's crap.

Maybe it does sound agitated, but I've been letting DS2 get on with it for well over a year, I've been fighting an NHS system that says he needs help but won't provide it because they don't have the funding.

I'm fed up of waiting and don't want to let him fall FURTHER behind which is what it feels like he is doing at the moment. At some point he will need to catch up, I just need to work out how to get him there.

Well, almost all. Some exceptionally bright children aren't behind.

It's a shame that your action plan does not include any of the positive suggestions that people have made re. developing fine motor skills, use of games and fun to aid learning.

I agree with Milly.

FWIW my DS had terrible handwriting and we did many of the things posters have suggested. They worked and crucially, without turning him off learning. He is summer born and is working way above national expectations.

You should consider easing up and taking a more clear-headed approach.

Let him write with the hand he chooses and don't make anymore comments about it. Also ease off on making him write at home. As others have said, do some fun stuff that doesn't involve pencil and paper. You're going to put him off altogether if you continue to push him like you are and it sounds like he is in the normal range for a summer born just started year one child.

I agree with others that 'overcorrecting' him could slow him down and turn it into a real battle.

Triangular pencils are helpful and ambidextrous.

My DD is flirting with swapping hands, and she's in Y3. I think ambidextrous children do come to writing a bit slower. It's like multilingual children are traditionally late speakers - they are doing more, so each language gets less practice. My DD spent her whole baby, toddler and preschool years using both hands equally, whereas most (not all) of her friends had a preference from quite early on. So each of DD's hands only got half the practice that her friends' dominant hand got. It's not a bad thing, she'll get there and there are lots of advantages to having a good 'second choice' hand.

Talk to his teacher if you haven't already. I bet he is much more in the normal range than you think. The range of 'normal' at this stage of Y1 is vast. I am so grateful to my DD's Y1 teachers for just saying she's fine, she's only 5, give it time. They were so right. And when she was ready she absolutely flew.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I can leave off getting him to write at home completely. It's part of his homework to do the writing. I'm not stressing as to how messy it is (and it is very messy!), just on him actually getting some of the writing done. He's quite keen to spend some time doing homework at the same time as his big brother.

I don't think asking him to use just one hand on the pencil is 'overcorrecting' him. His change of hand has just thrown me as it only happened yesterday part way through his writing and after a year of him choosing his left hand, something which I have let him do without any fuss at all, might I add.

I was actually more concerned that someone else might have told him he should use his right hand.

I'm just wondering whether going back and forth as he works out which hand he favours would cause problems, and some posters have suggested it might slow him down, but overall shouldn't cause a problem.

And although I hadn't mentioned it, we do lots of fine motor skill work, always have: he builds with lego, has lots of sticker books and colouring in books, lots of ball sports such as hockey and children's tennis type games, he scribbles with chalk on the pavement, plays games on the IPad, uses whiteboard markers etc.

A "hook hander" is a particular type of left hander - they are usually right-eyed left handers: I'm one.

Many (but not all) left handers are left-eyed dominant (dh is); some naturally superior ones are right-eyed (like my mum and me). Poor ds is right handed

I agree with not stressing about making him "make marks" . Ds wasn't getting any writing homework in P2 (=Y1). In fact, at the time he wasn't even reading (learning books off by heart, yes, blending, no) but the school told us to relax (even though they gave him a load of extra 1:1 support for 6 weeks) as some boys are just not developmentally ready to read until they're 6. In the event he was 6.7!

He's now in S3 (=Y9) and in the top set for English

It might seem an awful long time at the moment but your ds is only 5.

Relax, have fun with him, encourage him to draw, paint, make marks if he wants to - leave out implements with no pressure for him to pick up as and when he wants. It will come with time.

Is that what it's called? A 'hook hander'?

Is it something to be discouraged or pointless discouraging?