Year 6 - name calling - to speak to school or not?

[eleflump]

My ds2 is in Year 6 and for the last two or three weeks has been telling me about a boy at school (the 'alpha male' of the class) who has been calling him names. These have ranged from DS being called a 'mother', a 'spaz' and today a 'homosexual'.

I have so far been telling DS to just ignore it, but he is now saying he wants to move school, and that he ate his lunch really slowly today to avoid having to go outside to play. He has also started going into the other yard in the mornings to stay away from this boy. I would say that DS is just an average boy - not particularly wimpy but not one to look for trouble either. He says there has not been any particular incident that has prompted the name calling.

My instinct is to ring the school to try to get it sorted out as ignoring it doesn't seem to working, but I am also aware that DS will be going to high school next year and may have to deal with similar issues, and so needs to build some degree of resilience.

WWYD?

I would mention it but are you able to go into the school rather than calling? This is bullying and isn't acceptable.

That kid needs to be told he can't go around doing that, it's out of order. I would definitively speak to the school, especially as it's upsetting your lad.

You need to raise this with school. We've been on both sides of this kind of thing I'm afraid and it is much better that everyone is aware so they can deal with it.

I'm a y6 teacher and would definitely want to know if this was happening in my class! Please definitely contact the teacher. I wouldn't bother with a meeting at first, as they teacher will probably only say thank you very much for raising it and she/he will investigate, but I'd give them another call in a week or so to find out the outcome.

Get yourself in there. Maybe cry a bit.

I wouldn't say that this has anything to do with your DS needing to build "resilience". That kind of language is completely unacceptable.
My Y6s have similar issues from time to time, but each and every incident gets dealt with. This can range from simply talking to the children about it (had a few, who watched inappropriate youtube videos and then kindly shared what they had learnt...without knowing what it actually meant), loss of breaktime, to some being put on report and us talking to parents.
I suggest you speak to the teacher. (I'm quite amazed that your DS hasn't done that, yet. Mine would tell me about something like that straight away,... I really don't teach a bunch of little angels, but their parents would be horrified, if their children used language like that in school.)

Speak to teacher and write a note listing what names your son is being called. Totally out of order and the teacher should be told.
Bullying.

What are you waiting for? Get in there Monday morning and get the school to sort it.

It is not acceptable.

It is bullying.

It will not end just because you choose to ignore it. Your DS has told you (you should be very proud) because he doesn't want to deal with it alone anymore. He wants your and the school's help to make it stop.

I'm all for building resilience in children but expecting them to ignore daily bullying is not the way to do it.

I'm normally quite laid back on these things but with this one I would go to the teacher

Yes have a word. IME Y5/6 teachers are far better at dealing with this sort of nonsense than lower down the school.

DD got lots of just avoid or ignore them, when she was bullied in earlier years. The top class teacher was used to winding in DCs who were getting silly and dealt with the problem very slickly, without ever letting on who had complained.

At the moment you're teaching him to shut up and accept being bullied. Why not teach him that problems can be resolved instead. Empower him by getting him to write/email the tutor or speak to the tutor yourself if he prefers.

I've got a similar thread at the moment about my y6 son.

Definitely speak to the school, you can ask them not to make it obvious that the complaint has come from your ds.

Horrible horrible names they are calling him, they can be so bloody cruel.

So did you speak with the school?