poss casual sexism at afterschool club, or am I overthinking?

[thewalrus]

DD (Y3) has attended an afterschool multi-sports club for a couple of years now. (External provider, on school premises.) It is sold as all ability multisports for classes 1-6, and until recently, I thought they were doing a great job of that - DD had great time and did lots of different sport. It is split into infant and junior groups.
Towards the end of last year (so DD in Y2), she came home in tears. Her friend (a boy, then in Y1) had been invited to join the junior group for football. She had asked to go too, and been told she wouldn't enjoy it (because 'the big boys don't back out of challenges'). I picked her up the following week, after same thing had happened and spoke to the coach. He refuted any suggestions it was because she was a girl and just said he thought she wouldn't like it.
Fastforward to this year - DD wanted to carry on going and was looking forward to joining the junior group. It was her first session earlier this week - she went in the junior group and had a great time. Her friend (Y2) and a couple of other Y1/2 boys also in the group. But, all the other Y3 girls have apparently 'chosen' to stay in the infant group.
I am outraged, and think the providers are encouraging the girls to see themselves as inferior sports people and vice versa (and presumably when they eventually go into the junior group they will be far less good at football as the boys will have been playing for years). I think something billed as mult-ability sport they should just be in their age groups and activities provided to suit each group. (I have no problem with competitive places in sports teams etc, but that isn't what this is supposed to be.)
Thanks if you've read all this - what I'm trying to do is get a sense of if I am overthinking it/getting cross for no reason, esp. given that DD is happy with current situation, or if it seems sexist to someone with a bit of distance.

I live in australia where sport is taken very seriously! There's no deciding what group you are in as it's all decided on age. Like school. But the years for sports are not the same as the school years.

So my dd is under 11 for netball for example and under 12 for athletics as the dates for one are 1st October and the other 1st feb.

Perhaps you could suggest something along those lines.

She should be chosen (or not) on her football skills or merits as a team player, no other reason at this age. She should definitely not be taught that it is ok to let someone else decide how she is going to feel about something (before she has even tried it!) and that her feelings/hard work/attendance at training count for nothing simply because she's a girl. I totally see where you are coming from and this would piss me off mightily!

I would challenge this. It sounds like the girls aren't being pushed. Why should it matter more to a girl if challenges are made? The boy was moved up, despite being the same age- so why not the girl?

Shitty attitude.

I would be annoyed in exactly the same way. My DD has been playing footy since age 3 and is very good. Even is she wasn't I don't like the message it's sending

I would challenge. How infuriating.
There is far too much casual sexism around these days.
Fly the Flag. Fight!

doesn't sound fair to me. If it is multisports why are they only doing football would be my other question. There are lots of other things they could be trying too.

I would challenge it too and also let head teacher know since its on school property.

Thanks for all your thoughts. I'm thinking of writing to the manager of the providers and copying the headteacher. It's hard to word because it seems as if the other girls have chosen their activity. I think the point, as Savoy says, is that it should just be based on age and then they wouldn't have created this problem. I think their intentions are good, but the outcome is insidious sexism. Agree with nonickname about the focus on football as well.

he is splitting them on ability, but is too kind to say that.

Have the other girls chosen their activity or have they had the decision made for them on the grounds that the coach has decided that they 'wouldn't like' to move up?

On the face of it it does sound sexist. I guess the question is are the boys selected for the "junior" team better players than the girls who are in the "infants" team. Even if they are I guess there is still an argument to say he doesn't seem to be encouraging the girls as much as the boys. I think it is a good idea to set out your concerns in writing so they can properly consider whether the decisions are genuinely based on ability.

You might need to look into this a bit as it looks like you are assuming the reason is down to the fact that girls are being sidelined. However if it tuns out that you are right then you should definitely challenge it as it would be sending a terrible message to young girls.

If it is 'all ability' and it is based on age then that's what it should be. There should be no moving or down of anyone. It would be too easy for them to simply say 'there other year 3 girls aren't as good'

However they have rather shot themselves in the foot by saying 'she wouldn't like it' as that's either complete bullshit or complete laziness. Your dd should at least get the chance to see. Kids never learn to decide 'i am/am not comfortable with this' if they don't try.