We moved DS to a new school for Yr 3, he is an 'academic type' and we thought this school would cater for his interests better. He was however, very popular at his previous school, despite having no interest in football!
The new school is quite sporty but DS settled in well and was quickly enjoying school life. Another boy in his class also joined at the same time but it quickly became apparent that the two boys have very different personalities. Right from the start, this boy did things that upset my perhaps over- sensitive DS. He accused DS of 'stealing' - he had n't and the boy apologised. He used to tell DS to 'die' and drew pictures of DS with a sword through him. I later found out that it was part of a school play, but even so it was upsetting. He used to 'push' DS, pinch his cheeks and call him names on a daily basis. I also witnessed him kicking his legs up and missing DS's face by cm's. I mentioned it to the teacher (this was all 2 years ago now) and she had a word with him and things appeared to get better. However, DS then started saying he wanted to return to his previous school. We had a meeting and we know that the HT spoke to DS. We were assured that there would be no more occurrences. I monitored the situation - everything was 'fine'.
Imagine my shock when a year later DS came downstairs in the morning 'sobbing' - he said he was still being bullied by the same boy and 'he will not stop'. DS said he wanted to deal with it himself, so I taught him the strategies and told the teacher what we were doing. The teacher was shocked it was still happening, spoke to the boy and assured us 'that would be the end of it'. The very next day the boys friends approached DS at break, pinched his glasses off his face and attempted to take other personal belongings. The boy just watched. We wrote in again and before DS had even arrived at school the boys had been spoken to by the HT. We were again assured that would be the end of it. Yet, still it continues on virtually a daily basis, not to his face but others' are constantly telling DS what has been said. This includes references to size (DS is very tall), telling a new boy who was trialling the school about the things DS is not good at etc etc. Not serious things in themselves, but enough to continuously undermine and DS has now developed a stammer. DS is 9.
What can we do? None of these incidents in themselves are serious and I can see it is a clear clash of personalities but I cannot let DS's self esteem suffer. I've thought of asking if DS can move to the parallel class but DS is not keen and 'feels it will draw attention to himself'. He has a good friend but in seeking to distance himself from this particular boy he has also lost other good friends. It is always DS who is the target - no-one else.
Sorry it is an epic.