What is your school's protocol on this?

[ChocFudgeCake]

I'll try to be brief. DD is in Y1, her best friend does not let her play with other kids, takes her hair clips, dictates the games that the 2 of them play and if DD does not comply she punches her (just to be clear I do not think she hits hard). Some of this went on in reception but I knew only bits so didn't addressed it as I should have. I only recently got the whole picture. I spoke to the teacher about 2 weeks ago. She took notes and said she would speak to them. I have spoken to DD many times, but she cannot stand up to this other child, as she is afraid the girl will be angry. The teacher caught the girl taking the hairclips and told her off, but everything continues the same.
What is the protocol in other schools in a case like this? Thanks!

I think you need to go back in to school. My DS had a "friend" like this. I invited all his other friends around to help build up his friendship with them

Thanks Starkight. Yes, I know that I must go back, but wonder what kind of help I should expect from them.

My DD felt 'overwhelmed' by her best friend. She loves her but wanted to also play with other children, which she wasn't 'allowed' to do (whether her friend actually stopped her or whether she just felt pressure not to is unclear). When I spoke to the teacher she said that she thought the best thing would be to build up the friendships of the BF to widen her pool of play mates, so that DD3 felt their friendship was less intense. I thought that was perfect because it was kind and considerate of her lovely BF, but also helped DD3.

That could be a good idea. Thanks. The friend might need to have more friends... But to be honest I'd like a quick fix while the girl gets new friends and my DD strenghtens her personality. I just don't know how to go about it. I hate to think that this happens everyday to DD

We had a similar situation and school did role play with a group of girls about friendships. That was nearly a year ago and all is much much better now.

Had this or similar with DD when in yr1 last year.

Her teacher did a "friendship club" at lunch time & then encouraged the kids to go out & play together in the playground afterwards & it worked a treat.

My DD & the kid who was being mean to her were split up this year (thank goodness) & now seem to have nothing to do with each other.

When my DD2 had a problem last year with another couple of girls they were given zones in the playground they had to stick to, and some different children were designated to play with them.

Thanks very much for your messages. I am giving the teacher this week to do her best to improve the situation, when I see her again I'll bring up this strategies. Althought I do feel that separates playing areas and tables would be best.

As a teacher I would probably do some general work in class on healthy friendships as this can be quite a common problem for children (especially but not exclusively girls) at this age. E.g. the importance of playing with different people and making our own choices in friendships and do some role play of situations (such as someone saying you can only play with them) and solutions. Would also be speaking to the adults in the playground asking them to keep an eye out for any bullying behaviour (especially as she's not likely to report it).
Please also back this up at home with stories about friendships (look in the library) and perhaps roleplaying with dolls falling out?

Thanks Jenny, I tried the role play at home, that's why I know she won't report it. But we didn't try it with dolls. I could get more info .