Called in to school again for reception child and thinking of removing her

[Itsjustmeagain]

My dd is 4 (she has an August birthday so is one of the youngest), she has had terrible trouble using the toilet at school to the point where I send her a bag of clothes but she goes through all of them PLUS all of the class spare clothes. I then get called in - it happened today at 11:15. She had 4 spare outfits when she went.

I have taken her to the doctor who says that because she is pretty good in the house (and only has the occasional accident) it must be a problem with being at school so there is no physical reason for it.

I have tried talking to her teachers but it pretty much boils down to they will take her to the toilet every 30 minutes which clearly isnt helping - they have been great but what else can they do? I know my dd would be mortified to wear a pull up or something and I dont think the school accept this anyway.

She is getting sore because of it and starting to get upset as the other children are noticing

I am thinking of withdrawing her from school and I have posted on the home ed board for some advice but I just wanted some opinions from those who are not quite as strongly on the side of home ed.

For a bit of background we have 3 older children at the school and they seem happy enough, my second has learning difficulties but all have been toilet trained by school.

Do you think withdrawing her because of this is crazy?

My ds wasn't trained at 4 - nowhere near. He is now 5 and still toilet-timed at school (gets told to go) though he is gradually improving. My dd started school at 5.5 but had occasional accidents. Lots of 4 yo are not fully toilet trained and it is illegal to discriminate against them because of it (eg. preschools can no longer insist kids are out of nappies). Make sure you dd is drinking enough at school. Restricting drinks because of accidents is the opposite of what she needs; she needs to get the full bladder signal so needs sufficient to drink all day. Take a sample to the doctors to check for an infection. School is very busy so she may be too distracted (my dd problem). Use pull-ups if you need. Above all, consider this a medical/developmental problem and don't be embarrassed by it! It will come together in time.

There is something called Dry Like Me (iirc), that are basically like sanitary towels for dc.
Very thin but could be perfect if your dd is just dribbling wee through upset.
Tesco sell them, near the pull ups.

If she is upset about not knowing where things go, would the teacher allow you and dd to have a little time together in the classroom one day exploring all the cupboards etc?

I think I would drop a sample in at the drs too tbh.

I agree with keeping her off for a good few weeks. Is she saying she doesn't want to go to school or doesn't like school? Obviously the situation can't carry on the way it is. Good idea about ringing the school nurse.

Hugs OP. If my April born YrR DD had gone to school at just turned four she would have had major problems in the loo area! Six months makes all the difference! I would consider taking her out, if she is happy not to go, and have her rejoin after Christmas or Easter. Failing that I don't see what is wrong with pull ups. We were using them til 4.3 ish, the only difference being my DD was not yet at school.