What do you do with your DCs before school?

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I have DS (year 1) and DD (reception).
Mornings are always fraught as they annoy and fight with each other a lot...although it's mainly DS who is the one causing problems.
I like to hear what others do and what routine they follow for a bit of guidance.
Do your kids play by themselves for a bit? Mine if left alone would do, but they just clash with each other a lot, and I am busy trying to get ready and getting their breakfast together. DH leaves home at 7.20 so is of limited help. I make them wait for breakfast till I have finished getting ready and they have got dressed and brush their teeth too. I don't like going downstairs without having everybody dressed and ready as it's difficult to make them go back upstairs again to do these things, and would run out of time and be late for school.
It's tears, tantrums, fighting for attention, hitting each other, throwing things around, making mess, not sitting down to eat properly....all these things add up to stressful mornings and I just wish I had put them both in breakfast club instead of choosing to go to work later in order to "spend quality time" with them before school.
I put on cbeebies for them in the last 10mins or so so that they sit still and i can get things ready to get out of the door.

What are your mornings like and what do your kids do before school?

If you're happy for them to watch cbeebies, why not make that a treat for when they're ready?

So you could say

• when you are dressed
• have had breakfast
• have brushed your teeth
• have packed your bag

without having tantrums/fighting etc
you can watch tv.

I'd also make them responsible for getting themselves ready. In Reception and Y1, they ought be be able to make a good attempt and you can help out only where they are really stuck.

Mine are a bit older and we never seem to have any spare time in the mornings. Thankfully there's not much bickering, they leave that until they're both tired and grumpy after school!

My alarm goes off at 6.45am and i have to wake DD (12yo). DS (9yo) normally wakes up at the same time so we all have breakfast together, then DD gets changed, cleans her teeth and packs her bag ready for school (despite the numerous times i've asked her to do this in the evening) and has to be out of the door for the bus by 7.30am.

So that should leave us with loads of time before DS goes to school at 8.15am but NO. He's really slow getting changed, cleaning his teeth and often get distracted by the Lego in his room. Then it's quite often last minute homework or a quick 5 minutes learning spellings before i kick him out the door.

And breathe...

Forgot to say, why don't you use CBeebies as a treat to be earned? So it they are messing about and hitting each other, they don't get their 10 mins of TV.

Is there a reason why they don't eat breakfast in their PJs?

I find we don't really have that much more than 10 minutes to watch TV in the mornings, and I do ask them to put their shoes on or their coat on in order for me to put cbeebies on for them.
Everything is a battle with them. DS won't listen, behaves in a silly manner etc makes everything so much harder.
DD is ok, just wants to potter around playing (but DS won't let her - keeps annoying her), although can be silly at the table.
Is there a reward chard or something like that, that I could use to make mornings a bit more structured and more routine led?

I have two DDs in school (Y1 and Y2). We get up at around 7.45am, the girls' stuff is out ready for them to get dressed when they've woken up. We are all downstairs for 8am, the three DCs sit at the table waiting for their drink and breakfast and whilst they are eating that I collect all their stuff for school. After breakfast I tie DD1's hair up whilst DD2 cleans her teeth and then they switch. DD1 is in charge of putting the water bottles in their bags and laying out the shoes ready. DD2 makes sure that the relevant 'bus yes' or 'bus no' card is in their bags for hometime and then DH (if he's working from home that day) or I will walk the three kids down to the end of our track for the girls to catch the school bus at 8.30am. It's often a bit of a rush if I'm honest, so I need to start getting up a bit earlier so that we can chill a little bit more!

I have 2 like you (Rec&Yr2) and a husband who works away.
Clothes laid out night before, bags in hall ready and shoes next to them.
Alarm goes at 7.15 (just in case but usually all up by 7)
Breakfast is at 7.30 (in pj's - messy eaters)
At 7.45 I dive in shower while they finish b'fast and play/watch TV
8.00 telly off/toys away and they come up to wash and get dressed while I finish getting ready too.
Usually all done by 8.20 then they get the telly back on for 10 min while I wash up.
That's the plan anyhow!!

The 8.00 coming up to get ready usually requires me coming down and dragging them back up but it's exactly the same time everyday so they do expect it. I also have a clock in my bathroom and I do clockwatch.

I always think it would be easier if DH is about but then when he is we just get off track and no one wants to go to school!!

I don't let them play until after breakfast - if there's time.

I get up early and get ready while they are still asleep, then I go and get their breakfast ready, then I go and wake them up. Sometimes Dd 2 has already woken up, in which case she comes with me to get breakfast ready. If she's woken really early, she has a sneaky extra breakfast with Dh before he leaves at about 7.30

Dd 1 is 6 and gets herself ready without me, Dd 2 is 3 and I help her a bit.
Then we go down for breakfast together, I have a cup of tea while they eat breakfast.

Then they can play until it is time to go. I sometimes set a timer for when it is time to put shoes and coats on.

They know if they are slow getting ready there won't be time for playing, which I think makes them get a move on. There's usually only about 10 minutes for playing anyway, we never have loads of time.

It's difficult to let one of them watch TV whilst the other isn't , and it's usually DS that is naughty so he would be the one to be missing out. not letting him watch TV just makes my life more difficult as I am trying to get things ready to leave. I just don't have time to deal with his tantrums. Also sometimes DD can be naughty too and if they both lose out on TV time it is me who has to deal with the aftermath of it......and I NEED those 10 mins to breath and sort my head out before we leave the house. So I am reluctant to use TV as a reward to be earned.

I can't have them eating in their PJs because then I have to drag them upstairs again to get dressed, and that would take ages because they just wouldn't want to go back upstairs. Besides, I need to get dressed in the mornings too, so it makes sense for all of us to get ready together and then go downstairs.

I keep mine busy, straight after breakfast it's listening to reading with my Year Two DC and maybe five mins maths on the sofa and I drink a cup of tea and my oldest DD will be doing her 11 Plus Mental Maths sheet. Then it's uniform on, hair brushed, shoes on and out the door. If they're both busy, less time to fight and argue in my opinion. In the evening we sit in front of the fire and I have another ten min reading session with my youngest DD and fill in her reading record etc.

I have 3 - a y3, a yR, and a 1 year old.

Alarm goes at 6.45am. Kids come and join us in bed as and when they wake up, otherwise we wake them at 7.30.
7.35 (after the news on the radio!) Loo/bathroom & dressed.
7.50ish Downstairs for breakfast
Set table for breakfast - y3 one is often dressed before the rest of us so will go and get the cereal & bowls out, otherwise we all pitch in when we get there.
8.10ish breakfast finished, faced washed then bags checked, water bottles filled, fruit snack for y3, last minute wees, shoes on, do y3's hair, coats on, check for any extras they're meant to take with them
8.25 bike & scooter out of the garage, bike helmet on
8.30 leave on school run

Tbh we never have much time for anything in the morning - we try and practise spellings over breakfast, talk about what's happening after school. If yR DS finishes breakfast early he sometimes goes and plays, but only until the rest of us have finished, then he has to get on with the rest of the getting ready stuff.

If we're ready early we just leave early, school gates open at 8.40 and it's a 15-20 minute walk/scoot/cycle away :o

Mine like to get dressed before breakfast.

But if dragging them back upstairs would be a problem, why can't you bring their clothes downstairs and have them get dressed in the living room?

OK maybe I need to adjust my routine. I am thinking maybe like FeelingTwitchery I need to get ready first and get get breakfast ready so they eat just after they wake up and try and get into the routine of going back upstairs and getting ready after breakfast. A lot of tantrums might be due to hunger (although i always offer them a piece of fruit if they say they are hungry as it required no preparation).
Interesting to see how differently others do it. My way is certainly not working, so I need to give these ideas a try.

When I am feeling awake and organised I tend to get up, have lunches made etc before the boys get up. Otherwise I make lunches when they are eating breakfast.

DSs are yr1, yr3 and yr8.
I leave the eldest to sort himself.
Boys get up about 7am.
Get themselves dressed downstairs and then put their PJs away. (When in reception I used to help them get dressed to ensure all clothes on the right way around. Now I just check collars pulled out from under jumpers etc).
I bring them in breakfast.
When they have eaten they bring bowl into kitchen.
When they have both finished eating they are allowed to play on the Nintendo DS or watch TV as long as they have found their shoes and coat out ready to put on.
We leave for breakfast club at 8:10 and the programme they like to watch finishes at 8:08 so they know to turn it straight off and get shoes and coats on. If they aren't ready in time no DSs/TV the next day. They get a bit of a warning as DS1 goes to catch the bus at 8am so they know they will be getting ready soon.

It is a PITA, but it also might work out better for you to be up and dressed etc. before they are for a while. So you can stop them hassling each other sooner, they arent interrupting your dressing routine. I eventually had to do this for a while, hated it. But began thinking of it in terms of well, I wouldnt show up to any other job in my bathrobe and my hair a mess. It helped to seperate my schedule from my girls, if I was already ready, I had far more time to work on training them into a proper routine and awareness of timetable.

I think breakfast in PJs is good. Mess on uniform avoided.

We recently had to begin locking our playroom in the mornings as DS would go in there and be very tricky to extract.

A sticker chart has helped - star for a good morning, treat if there are 3 or more stars at the end of the week.

I have DS yr5 yr10 yr11
Our morning routine as always been I wake up 20 mins before the boys(so I can use bathroom first) wake boys up at 7.00 to 7.15. They all come down in their uniforms, firstly they all wash and brush teeth. Then they have tv on while eating breakfast. All things that need to go school with them are packed at night ready for morning. This routine has always worked for us.
With breakfast they just tell me the night before if they want a hot breakfast if not they make their own cereal and milk.

I think to a certain extent you need to let go of the idea of "quality time" before school. IME (and my DDs are 7 and 11 now and were still scrapping over basin space in the bathroom this morning) mornings are just an unpleasantness to be got through as you mentally tick off all the jobs and then deliver everyone to where they need to go in one piece...

I have pinned a list on the back of the front door, which has clipart pictures next to the words, of everything that needs to happen before we go out of the door - so they can see what needs doing and what's coming next. At the moment it's get dressed, breakfast, vitamins, brush teeth, brush hair, sunblock (may need to revise that soon!), shoes, coats, bags.

We don't have time to do anything else in a morning - I get up at 7.30, and we're out the door at 8.40. I try and eat breakfast with them and have a chat about what's on for the day, but not really any time for anything else apart from what's on the list. It's been a couple of weeks and is working well, though I get in trouble now if I try and mix up the order - heaven forbid I brush hair before teeth...

Dc are at breakfast club as I wouldn't be at work until after 10 if I took them myself. Also found it just as stressful as they just
We do breakfast in pjs then dressed then teeth and out of the door. They get TV on Fridays when dp works from home and they don't go to breakfast club.

Our morning is quite like RueDeAwake's - with one significant diff.

I have aY2 and a YR, they generally migrate to our bed before morning, if very early DH may migrate out to one of their beds.

7.15 alarm goes off, i get drinks - we have in bed and chat.
7.30 shower (me) , loo and dressed all. DH sleeps. If DS wont dress I take his uniform dowmstairs
7.45- 8.00ish downstairs for breakfast. Prod DH, he groans.
8.00 breakfast
8.20 - 8.40ish teeth, shoes, coats, bags. DH usualy makes appearance and dresses DS if not already done.
We aim to leave at 8.30 and walk to school with time to spare, but we can make it if we leave at 8.40 and run down the hill.

Key is to keep them moving, we sometimes have time for a bit of reading or maths - but if we are early and they start playing with toys getting them out of house is a nightmare.

Should say - just as stressful when I do take them directly as they follow ? Parkinsons law ? - work expands to fit is the time available.

Can you set out some clothes for them the night before and take them down to the sofa, then they can get changed downstairs after eating breakfast? Then you just have to run back up with their pjs before leaving. Maybe they'll annoy each other less on a full stomach?

Ha ha ha to the idea of quality time before school!!

I wake up and get everything ready, then with 30 minutes to go I wake my 3 up get them dressed/badger them to get dressed [delete as age appropriate]. Brush teeth, wash face, quick breakfast, shoes on, into the car. Spellings or timetables in the car.

Thanks for all the tips. Yes I need to wake up earlier. I need about half an hour to get ready. The alarm goes off at 6.45am and it's nearly 7am by the time I get up and very shortly afterwards the DCs wake up. If I am dressed and ready by the time they wake up I think it'll be easier overall as then I can deal with any fighting/whinging hands on rather than screaming for them to stop hurting each other whilst I rush around trying to get ready!
I had a particularly bad morning today and something needs to change ASAP. Doesn't help that I'm not well at the moment with flu.