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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD not settling in reception and now getting bullied

13 replies

mrsmandm · 26/09/2014 21:15

I'm so upset for my DD, has been going to reception for a month, cries every night and every morning. Thought she was just not settling, but this morning said her BF wouldn't play with her at school and is telling the other children not to play with her either.
What do I do? I'm really good friends with the girl's mum but I don't know whether to bring it up or whether I'll make it worse.

OP posts:

Ilikepie · 26/09/2014 21:16

Ahh the poor thing! I'd talk to the teacher.

Floggingmolly · 26/09/2014 21:18

. Get the teacher to sort it out. Pronto.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 26/09/2014 21:19

The teacher will handle it, probably talk to the whole class about friends and being kind and make sure your DD mixes with some other children. Its nice to be able to share the burden of coping with this sort of stuff with a teacher.

Original poster

mrsmandm · 26/09/2014 21:50

It's such a huge school - 60 in her year - I'm worried she's getting lost and the teacher isn't noticing.
Already thinking about moving to a village to get away from it all!!

OP posts:

Doodledot · 26/09/2014 22:12

She is still only 4. 60 a year is a nice size. It's very early days. They are all still settling and finding their way. Just chat to the teacher and put all other thoughts to one side.

Doodledot · 26/09/2014 22:14

Huge would be a 5 or 6 form entry it may be just that DD bf is more confident and is settling in by exploring new friends. If your DD is a bit nervous she may feel left out - at this age it's not malicious

mrz · 27/09/2014 08:20

Talk to the teacher she / he may not have noticed or they may be able to put your mind at rest. One of my class had told his mum no one played with him, fortunately his aunt is a playground supervisor and knew it wasn't true ... Children sometimes see things very differently

Pancakeflipper · 27/09/2014 08:27

Talk to the teacher and the TA.
Children do see things differently and the staff can help resolve issues.

I would also encourage new friendships and asking others to play/tea because if bf is moving away from your DD then your DD needs help to move along too and form her own social circle. Find out whom the teacher thinks is on wave length, they might not be able to tell yet after 4 weeks but they can keep a look out and let you know.

The good news is with a 60 pupil intake there's likely to be some people to get a long with.

MaryWestmacott · 27/09/2014 08:28

If it was a 1 form entry, it would still be 30 in her class. Talk to the teacher, they'll sort it. Sounds like this girl needs managing out of your dd's life, arrange play dates with other class parents.

JustAShopGirl · 27/09/2014 08:31

One bit of advice - what happens at school gets dealt with at school - don't speak to the other mum about it - it never ends well.

odyssey2001 · 27/09/2014 09:54

Right take a deep breath and breathe. This is NOT bullying. You are only a few weeks in and it can take a long time for everyone to adjust (months sometimes).

You should definitely talk to the teacher but don't go accusing them of ignoring her needs or using the word bullying. Teachers know what real bullying looks like and you will just come across as neurotic.

This is not me criticising you or making slight of you child's distress but there are ways to handling things and you need to be rational. Hope it goes well.

2cats2many · 27/09/2014 11:20

M'y son spent the whole of his nursery year telling me that no one played with him. The staff said the opposite was true and he had loads of friends and played with them all day.

Talk to the teacher. If she can't put your mind at rest she'll at least be able to put in place some strategies to help Tour daughter make some friends.

RiversideMum · 27/09/2014 12:38

I agree with odyssey. Bullying is a very strong word and is somewhat overused. Has your child shared this with an adult at school? If not, pop in for a quick chat and I'm sure the teacher will sort it. Generally, this can be done as a circle time (without mentioning names) and the adults will keep an eye out for what is going on.

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