Holiday in term-time cock up

[Loueytb3]

First of all, I know I don't deserve any sympathy for this as it's a mess of my own making, but would appreciate advice on what to do.

We are going on holiday for October half term. Flight leaves on Thursday afternoon. DS1 has an inset day on Friday so will only miss one day of school. DS2 will miss two days. I had intended they were going to come down with D&V on Thursday, thereby knocking DS2 out for the last 2 days of term. However, we have just got the calendar for this term and both schools have deliberately conveniently organised parents evening for the Thursday night. DS2 is at a new school, so we had no way of knowing that was when they did parents evening. DS1's is usually earlier in the week. He is also missing his school photo which is the same day.

So - do I 'fess up, knowing we won't get the holiday authorised, pay the fine (if we get one) and try and arrange to see their teachers at an alternative time (possibly pissing the teachers off in the process)

Or, do I organise slots for parents evening (knowing we are not going to be there) and run with plan A.

If you are a teacher - would you be v fed up with a parent asking for a separate meeting in these circumstances?

I have told DH in no uncertain terms that next year we are not pulling them out of school for those days if we go away.

Oh I know it's not the approved thing, but I'd go with plan A - organise the slots anyway and then (in)conveniently get d&v through the family from weds or so onwards. Assuming the dc don't make any slip ups and tell their friends they're going away...

I think you should fess up - it'll be fairly obvious they've been away. They'll be tanned, full of chat of where they've been, etc.

The fines shouldn't be too bad seeing as its only 3 days across the two of them. I'm sure the teacher will appreciate your honesty.

Hi, my area only fines after five days unauthorised absence. I took 4 days and didn't get fined. Just write a note saying you know it is unauthorised but children will be absent on x dates. If you lie, when kids come back full of holiday chat you will look silly and teachers won't trust you in future, it's not a route I would go down.

Have a lovely holiday

Fess up - if attendance is otherwise good, you won't be fined. LAs have a % attendance threshold, so if your attendance falls below say 87% (it varies) over a period of X weeks, then you'll get a fine. Unless your boys have been off sick a lot already I can't imagine 2 days will tip the balance in your case. Much better to be honest with the school than to effectively ask your children to lie.

Why not just not make an appointment and then when you get back an appointment saying you weren't able to get to Parents evening. No need to go into details about why unless they ask (which they won't)

Why on earth would

• you make your DC lie?
• you book parents' evening slots that you are not going to use, thereby pissing off the teacher and other parents

Tell the school you are taking the day as holiday, arrange to see the teacher at an alternative time (parent's evenings are never at a convenient time for everyone and teachers are used to this!)

Plan A + organise slots, then cancel due to D&V. They won't know as d&v can be over fairly quickly and you could have gone away in the half term afterwards.

Oh and if you book the latest slot and cancel no teacher will be annoyed as they will finish parents evening earlier!

Parents evening is not compulsory.

As you cannot go anyway, just forget it is happening and do not make an appointment. At primary school age (in my experience anyway) a teacher will usually seek out a parent of a child he/she has concerns about for a chat. Primary schools tend to keep you more informed on a day to day basis than secondary schools.

Yes, the DCs will be tanned and talking about their holidays. They have had a half-term break though so it is entirely possible that they flew on Saturday or Sunday for a week. The school may suspect but I VERY much doubt they will question you on it.

Don't lie. Highly unlikely you'd get fined for 1/2 days, and it's easier to plan if you're a teacher if you know a child won't be in - sending pe kit home, etc

Don't make parents eve appointments if you don't intend to keep them - you can't see other people at that time in case the original parent turns up, and it's highly unlikely you'd have the last appointment, so if you don't book an appointment, everyone can be a bit earlier.

Definitely don't book for parents' evening it's not fair on the teacher say you can't make it and ask to rearrange if poss. You could be doing 101 things that night that are not going on holiday As for the holiday itself you can either call in sick or confess to the holiday as your conscience permits. I'd probably confess but not the end of the world to call in sick either.

Unless you haven't told the DC about the holiday it's highly unlikely they will be able to keep it to themselves, so school will find out!! And teachers are not stupid - they do realise what it means when a child is unexpectedly taken ill on the last day before a holiday

My instinct is to 'fess up. But its rubbish that the system is such that I would even think about going down the D&V route. Clearly I am not the only one either, judging by your responses.

DS1's school has in the past told me to say he's ill, rather than writing in and asking for permission (in this case it was for a half day at Easter) and being told no.

Both children have not been off this term. DS2 had 99% attendance last year, DS1 was a bit less, but only because he had some authorised absences for medical appts. Both schools are obsessed with attendance figures because of Ofsted outstanding ratings, and they are both due an inspection soon.

DS2 is at a new school (yr3) and I don't know the teacher so would really like to see her to see how he's settling in. However, he is the child that would admit (if asked) to flying out on Thursday, so would probably grass us up!

Don't lie.
Don't book a slot for parents evening....it's not compulsory.
Just fess up and pay the fine.

Don't lie. Your kids will give you away and it sends a bad message to them. I doubt you'll get fined for one/ two days away. What's the local authority's policy on fines?

So for DS1 your school are actively encouraging you to lie. I take it this is something to do with attandence figures and a sick day is preferable to an unauthorised absence. Ideally you should tell the truth under the assumption that you would not be fined for less than 5 days. It seems less stressful all round.

Yep shebird they are. DS1 has SN, but is at a MS school - I guess they take the view that the SN kids have enough to deal with.

Don't know what the LA policy is on fines - how do you find out?

What's your LA? It's not always that easy to find. I'll see if I can find a link if you tell me which council.

Have just found it (thanks google) - they fine if you miss more than 6 sessions (3 days). So we should be ok on the fine front.

There you go then. Enjoy your holiday :)

I'm always secretly thrilled if a parent doesn't turn up on consultation evening, as it means I can catch up on any backlog and, if I'm lucky, get home a bit earlier!
If it's through illness/emergency, I'm happy to re-schedule after school one night (but am strict on the same time limit as the parents' evening, as we got wind not long ago of some parents deliberately choosing after-school appointments as they thought they got longer). Even in the days before term-time holidays became so contentious, we never gave alternative dates if the appointment was missed due to a holiday. This was made very clear in the newsletters/handbook.

Don't lie. The school will find our and you will look like an idiot.

I always find the my children are going to come down with D&v flu so we can go on holiday a little weird, you do realise especially at primary school your kids are going to go back and go on and on about their holidays and teachers head teachers and LA's are going to work out you were lying!

Plus what kind of example does it set your kids don't lie don't break the law, unless it's because mummy and daddy don't want to get fined cos they've taken you out of school when they shouldn't!

That said I find it incredibly sad that parents are so het up about attendance and holidays that it's come to this!

I think many people overestimate how much others care about their movements. I've had countless kids out of class in the last year; a phone call comes through which we all know is a pack of lies, the entire family of kids come back with tans, and we all get on with our lives. No one cares.

Fess up but don't lose any sleep over it, these things happen.