Rookie reception parent question - how to approach DD's teacher?

[vladthedisorganised]

DD goes to a lovely school and her teacher is brilliant. However, we're having a lot of issues at home (job loss, money problems, one grandparent being tested for Parkinson's, other grandparents moved away) and I'm worried it might be affecting DD.

She's always been a chatty little thing but she has become really shy of late, and I can't help wondering if the situation at home is causing the problem - or at least not helping at a time which is a big adjustment anyway. I have no idea how DD is getting on at school but I know she hasn't mentioned any friends at all, avoids her classmates at the park and hides behind me when they line up in the playground in the morning. When I've suggested playdates with the other children she seems horrified by the idea, where at preschool I was always being asked if X or Y could stay for the week! She seems to love the work though.

I want to let her teacher know about the situation at home so that they have some background on this clingy, shy little thing they see. They go into school and come out on their own, so I'm not sure what the 'done' thing is - should I ask the school for an appointment or put a note in DD's book bag?

I'm sure some of it as the adjustment to school. It is not really a great school if in Reception you have no access to the teacher. In our school, parents our encouraged to stay for 15 minutes in the morning. There's also opportunity to see and speak to them at the end of the day. If I were you, I would pop in at the end of the day (walk into classroom) and ask if it would be possible to make an appointment with the teacher. If this would be a huge scene, then phone the office and ask if you can make an appointment to speak to the teacher. You could offer a phonecall as an option, or a quick chat at the end of the school day.

So you don't see the teacher at all?

Do they have home/school diaries? If so, I'd leave a note in it asking to speak to the teacher before/after school. Otherwise I'd go to the school office and ask the same thing.

do you have access to the office? Maybe ask the office staff if you can meet with the teacher. Alternatively put a note in your dd's book bag for the teacher.

A note in my kids' book bags wouldn't get to the teacher if it was dd (If it was ds2 possibly). They are y1 now. I would phone if it is really impossible to pop into the classroom.

we aren't allowed in the main school building so couldnt go into the class. I'd phone the office or go and speak to them

Phone the office and ask if you can either have an appointment after school with the teacher or if she can call you. If they want a reason explain that you need to talk to the teacher about the change in your DD and that you're worried.

I needed to talk to DS's teacher (Reception) this week as he was struggling with going in on his own. I phoned the office who took a message for me. She couldn't call me back at lunch time but we had a 5 min chat after school and it was all sorted out with us both doing things to boost him up so he can do it.

It's not unusual for parents to not be given free access to the classroom and it doesn't have to be a problem as long as you can get to see the teacher if you need to.