Moving Schools

[MovingBack]

Just how 'damaging' is it?

My DC have moved schools 3x due to us moving house/country - do I need to start saving for therapy?!!

I have just read something and it alluded to the fact that moving schools is 'damaging' to young children - I wish I'd never read it as DC don't seem any the worse for it but maybe I'm mistaken....

Can anyone offer reassurance or indeed shed any light on this theory?

I spoke to the head of my dd's primary about this last week. One of our dd's has had a bit of a messy school time (all for the right reasons however it has been messy) and she is now considering another school due to wanting certain subjects.

She replied in her opinion it was far more important what the homelife was like. If the children were supported and happy at home, felt able to talk to their parents about the move then it had little effect. However children who didn't have this could be traumatised about a single move (and in the UK most children have at least 1 move from primary to 2ndary)

Really gave me food for thought, I have told dd2 we will go look at the school she wishes to look at.I know she has the sort of home environment that means she feels she can talk to us. I had a chat w dd1 about our move when she was in year 5 She struggled at the time but now (age 16 ) she told me. That school we moved to was so much better for me and it was a what made me able to get the grades I have now. I think it was a good choice.

Thank you so much Frikadellen, you've really put my mind at rest - similar situation here and I'm delighted to hear your DD1's insight too. I hope it works out for your DD2 as well

Hi Movingback:

DD2 was miserable at her first primary. Educationally it was fine (in fact she had much better teachers than DD1 and was streets ahead of where DD1 was at a similar age) - but there was low level bullying/ teasing constantly which was really wearing. Moving schools for DD2 was definitely the right thing for her - emotionally - more than educationally. She's a happy, bubbly thing these days - much more like she was as a toddler. And I don't have that heart sinking feeling when I realise I'm collecting a weepy daughter from school or drying tears on the way to school.

I sincerely think that these studies generalise a lot.

Moving schools if you are a refugee from Syria right now would be a great thing - as indeed is the case for a few of DD2s school chums. The alternative - no education at all in Aleppo - for example - is clearly worse.

Moving schools because of job-loss/ family break up/ bereavement - can also involve a lot of baggage/ misery regarding personal circumstances. It's a hard time for a family - and moving schools doesn't necessarily add to it - but can be blamed for problems a family would rather not focus on.

It is also clear from studies that moving school for middle class & higher socio-economic classes may have little or no effect - because these children are in stable homes/ supported financially/ able to afford to join clubs & do things (thus feeling included)/ etc...

article here: cee.lse.ac.uk/ceedps/ceedp67.pdf:

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I think the real issue is balancing your need to move (affordability/ less commuting/ new job/ etc...) vs. your child's needs (happily settled with a nice set of friends/ at great school/ about to take major exams: GCSE/ A-Levels). Sometimes your needs win/ sometimes their needs - but the point is to step back and weigh up both sides of that argument.

HTH

My DC have just changed schools (primary) and will be changing again before Christmas due to us moving again. I agree that much of it is about the stability of the home environment and also about how positively you present it. I have spoken with lots of parents who moved their DC, some many times, before we did what I knew would be a 'double move' and the overwhelming sense I got was that their DC were up for it as long as they (the parents) approached it as 'exciting'. I do also think it helps when you have a sense that you are going to stay in the last move in a series for some time. My DC seem to be OK about the upcoming move but are pleased it will be the last one for a while (well we hope it will - that will depend on school spaces but that is another story!).