Unhappy with Year 3 teacher help!!

[Jugglinglifeandwork100]

My son has been in his new class for less than 2 weeks and since last Friday is desperately crying about his new teacher. He is sobbing, hating school, confused to why he is being told off 'ALL' the time (he suffers from daydreamitus and scatterbrainitus). It is heart breaking to see him so upset. His new teacher frightens him and he is begging me not to send him. I'm really upset that she is being such an aggressive teacher, especially when the other Yr 3 teacher has a lovely temperament. When i told him that I couldn't speak to the teacher till Friday, he sobbed begging me!! How should I approach this with the teacher? Sorry for the rant

Have you actually seen the teacher be aggressive? I ask this because different personalities can be interpreted very differently by young children. I could mention something to a child in passing but because I have spoken directly to them they have interpreted that as 'being told off' or 'being in trouble'

If the teacher is genuinely being aggressive not just firm, I would speak to either the head or deputy. If there is a chance that it has more to do with how your child is interpreting the situation, speak with the teacher and share your concerns. Talk about the effects on your child rather than what she may or may not have said to him since you were not in the classroom and do not know what was said or how it was said.

You need to talk to the teacher, but you need to be careful to establish that there is actually 'aggression' as opposed to a young child who doesn't like being corrected, and in fact may genuinely need to be pulled back on task frequently. Alternatively, does he have reasons for preferring to being in the other classroom (like that teacher better, best friend in the other class)? I've seen it happen on a number of occasions where a student is disappointed in getting a certain teacher for a particular reason, or would prefer to change classes, and they feel that their actions may facilitate being changed in to the other classroom.

If he is getting in trouble for daydreaming and not concentrating, then you need to talk to the teacher and put strategies in place to address that. Could he move closer to the board (has his eyesight and hearing been checked?), moved away from certain students, given more explicit instructions, or another strategy that she might suggest.

I think the move to year three can often be a big surprise. They are expected to be more responsible and there is also more work to contend with.

My dd is all over the place too, with her head in the clouds and I really had to work on her stepping up to the plate a bit more as she got older. In year three, if the teacher asks them to sit on the carpet, she expects them to do so straight away not two minutes later as they are just getting a drink/talking to john/looking at a koala in a tree.

That's the sort of thing I had to work on.

How do you know that she is "such an aggressive teacher". Your ds is clearly unsettled so it is absolutely right that you should go and talk to her about how to support his transition, but to call her aggressive is a bit off in my opinion unless you've actually seen it.

Does your ds mean that he is being told off more than last year? Each year group is different, and the expectations around learning behaviour rise each year too. Yours ds needs the shared support of you and his teacher to improve his learning behaviour. Simply blaming the teacher is not helpful to your ds.

I agree with Savoy. Year three is a difficult year, they have to do a lot more formal learning. I also agree that sometimes, daydreamers get picked on by teachers who expect all pupils to respond immediately. I have one of those, he is desperately slow to do anything, work, changing for PE, and he does get told off quite a lot... it would be worth talking to the teacher I think.

If your child is inattentive and being told so constantly then that's the problem.

If he was getting on with what he was supposed to be doing she wouldn't be on at him "all the time".

I doubt very much that she is, actually.

Please go and talk to the teacher/head.
Your childs feelings are real, and the change in him normally relates to some issue somewhere. Which hopefully between you, your son and the school can be identified and resolved.

Last year my daughter was very unhappy at school, things did improve once I had spoken to the head, as the school where not aware how unhappy she was. She was very good at hiding it at school, but it all came out at home!

I would request a meeting to come in and discuss DCs transition to KS2. I would not couch the written request, just in these kind of terms, without any suggestion of criticism on your part.
When you go the the meeting, I would start with very open ended questions such as how the teacher feels he is adjusting and settling. Once that has been answered, I would then mention that son has been finding it difficult and has been upset. Again, I would try not to phrase it in a way as to suggest blame. Ask how he is getting on and if there are things he needs to work or or that can be done to help him feel more confident. Ask if the teacher is aware of his anxiety.

I think that if you approach it like this, you are more likely to get a favourable outcome. You need to be willing to be a bit open minded about it all and to hear what the teacher says, rather than seeing her as the enemy or problem. Your son and her need to move forward together and I'm sure you can help to make that happen amicably. It is heart breaking when our children are so upset. Sometimes it is a bit irrational, and just a clingy phase, or them finding change difficult, rather than something or someone very specific.

I'd speak to teacher re expectations in class.

Yr 3 was when DD was expected to be more independent eg reading book not changed unless she put it in the box, relying on children to relay messages home about needing a cardboard box on friday etc

You can then reinforce to him what expectations are and help remind him.

Do you know what is causing him to day dream? Does he not understand the importance of concentrating or is he not able to concentrate?