Ds started at new school and he's miles behind

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Ds has left a school in special measures where less than 50% of reception children meet the ELGs and has gone to an outstanding school where 100% of children met or exceeded the ELG.
He is 5.3 and in year 1.

He was reading stage 4 at the last school but this school have moved him back to stage 3 (they also use a different scheme) but have said his phonics aren't very secure even though he has all his reception key words (due to me doing them at home with him).

In addition to this the children have used penpals handwriting scheme all through reception and have also done a significant amount of number formation. On the playground one mum was saying she hasn't got around to finding somewhere to put all get daughter's books from reception yet. Apparently they had a learning journal, numeracy book, literacy book and handwriting book.
Ds had a learning journal. There were 12 pages in it and the last entry was February. I queried that with the school and they said that's all there was. For a year's work.

Also they only listened to them read once a week and changed the books once a fortnight - sometimes even less regularly. Apparently the children were meant to change their own books when they felt like it.

I would say that ds is of average ability - or should be - but he is miles behind these children and is describing himself as 'stupid' - he was towards the top in his old school. He's gone from top groups to bottom groups. His last school had him exceeding the majority of his ELG but I didn't really believe them to be honest. They knew he was leaving so I think they put his results high so it would look good for them and then the other school would have the hassle when they weren't right.
He seems particularly behind with reading. He's naturally better at numeracy even though they didn't seem to do any last year so I'm less worried about that.

This is partly why we moved him but is there anything I can do to support him? I know read at home and we do. It's been further complicated by the fact that we found out in march the his eyesight was really poor and we are having to patch 4 hours a day so pretty much from when he comes home to when he goes to bed. The vision is so poor in his lazy eye that the hospital described it as being almost partially sighted so trying to do any reading or writing is tricky. We do a bit in the mornings but don't have a huge amount of time.

I don't want him to label himself as stupid and give up. I'm worried this will happen.

have you talked to the teacher at all or just to other parents --who are prone to exaggertion ime.

you ds sounds normal to me. try not too worry too much (yet).

recpetion is for finding the place in a large social group and learning through play. anything academic is a bonus imo. tbh my ds couldn't really read much after reception but took off in year one, he was just ready and 'got' it at that point.

and considering his sight problem I think he is doing brillantly!

I don't know - she wasn't saying it to exaggerate because I hadn't mentioned anything about ds's last school. She was just telling me. At home ds reads harder books than the ones they are sending him home with.

I just feel bad for him. He cried and cried tonight.

I would take the parents' opinions with a pinch of salt . They tend to exaggerate somewhat and will play to your insecurities. Plenty of dc don't blossom until Year1 or later. Why would you believe this school's' 100% any more than you trusted the previous assessment of your ds.

Ok if ds cried and cried than saying don't believe the parents is not going to help. If there are tears there is a problem.

1st step. I would reassure that all children are different and that he is not stupid he has just been learning different things.
2nd step. I would speak to ds' teacher. Clearly there has been a change of expectation and it might mean he needs a bit of extra support to adjust to the new school. It happens but if you don't speak to the teacher they won't know how much it is affecting ds.
3rd step. Be grateful that you have made the transistion now. I know it is hard to watch kids be upset and feel out of control but better this happens in year 1 than in year 6. It will get better, if the school is as good as it is made out to be then they should help support ds to make sure he meets his ability. but it is not going to happen over night and you are going to have to be ds' biggest supporter and be honest with him about the quality of the old school if you need to and feel appropriate. My ds would always do better with this knowledge.

Talk to his teacher. They'll be able to tell you how to help him progress and what resources to use.
You could try work books that are fun like the Letts ks1 ones which are based on magic and wizards or some computer based learning sites like education city or maths factor.
I wouldn't worry too much. A good school will help him to catch up and yr1 is do young. There's plenty of time.

Firstly, if it's a good school then he will catch up and reach his proper level. I have a friend who moved her DS under similar circumstances and he was in a similar position -- pretty much right at the bottom at the start of Y1. By the end of Y1 he was in top groups for everything and now, in his teens, he's at an academically selective school and doing very well.

Secondly, this is a great opportunity to get him thinking about work and education the right way. Right now he is finding everything hard, but you can talk to him about how that's OK, and practising stuff that he finds hard will actually change his brain by building new connections. You can compare it to the patching you're doing to his eye, if he understands how that's working; the eye is having to do stuff it's never really done before, and that's hard (so hard that you need to use the patch to force it to try) but in the end he will have an eye that works much better for what he needs to use it for. Similarly his brain is having to do stuff that it never really had to do at his old school, and that's hard too, but in the end he will have a brain that works much better for what he needs to use it for.

Make sure that you notice and comment when he works really hard at things, and point it out to him when he can now do something that he couldn't a few weeks ago -- so forming a particular letter correctly, or reading a sentence in one go (or whatever is a small step ahead of what he can do now). Tell him that that's because he's been working at it and practising even though he found it hard.

That's a great post Tortoise.

It might not seem like it at the moment but it is a good thing they a taking a step back and making sure he is really secure with his reading skills before moving on. It will help him develop his reading skills long term.

What really struck me about your post is how young your DS and how unhappy he sounds about it all. It is easier said than done but try and ignore the other mums and age related targets at the moment. Help your DS concentrate on what he can do and focus on what he is going to achieve next and help him do it in a fun way. Sitting him down constantly to do work when he is tired from school and even more tired due to his sight difficulties is a recipe for really putting him off learning. When he gets home he will already have put in more efforts than his peers due to his sight.

At this young age try and focus on making things fun for him. How about you read to him for now or make games out of his homework. We do start very young in the uk with lots of aspects of the curriculum so try not to worry too much.

Ds is unfortunately very very hard on himself. About everything. He is something of a perfectionist.

Should I speak to the teacher tomorrow or leave it a bit?

I'd speak to her sooner rather than later. Best to try and sort it.

I would speak to her soon. I'd let her know how upset his as well. Hopefully she can reassure him a bit at school too.

I'd probably avoid workbooks at this stage, but if you can get a idea of where the teacher thinks his biggest gaps are then you can probably findsoe activities to help fill them.

Please don't worry too much about reading and writing at this stage, keep talking to him and engaging him with things that interest him, maybe get an audible subscription for audio books (or borrow from the library) so he has access to stories while being patched.

My ds didn't read or write at all at your ds's age as he has hypermobility in his hands (his fingers dislocate when writing with a pen/pencil) and also has a serious eye problem that needed a lot of patching. he's 15 now and in y11 and is in the top sets for most things including English.

Is he mature enough for you to talk to him about things?
I would go along the lines of: everyone finds starting at a new school (or work) hard. Because different schools do different types of work. So you've done things the new friends haven't and they've done things that you haven't. Now you're at the new school, you're going to learn the things they've learnt and when you've done that you'll do as well as anyone else.
If you can add something like "and last year's teacher said you were really good at "

I would speak to the teacher, but word it carefully so it comes across as ds is upset because having been at the top, to find he's not is losing him confidence, rather than I am upset because you have assessed his reading lower than it should be.