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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Does your child tell you anything?

31 replies

MumtoLaura · 19/09/2006 21:39

My DD started reception two weeks ago, and she doesn't talk about school at all. If I ask her anything, like what did you have for lunch - she won't answer. I feel completely cut of from her day. Is it usual for children to tell you nothing do you think?

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Icanseethecece · 19/09/2006 21:41

Perfectly normal..... DD is now a bit chattier but she is in Year 1 now!

Kaz33 · 19/09/2006 21:42

Yes, yes, yes - you not only have to be lucky to get told anything but then have to decipher anything that they say.

They are still making sense of it all, relax - she will tell you in her own time what she think is important.

Icanseethecece · 19/09/2006 21:43

All she seems to do though is play kiss chase with the boys! LOL

Dottydot · 19/09/2006 21:44

Yes, ds1 has also just started in reception and so far we know:

He plays out.
He has cheese sandwiches for his lunch.

foxinsocks · 19/09/2006 21:45

neither of mine tell me anything (yr2 and reception)

we got a letter home (yr 2 child) saying that their hair had to be totally tied back for PE. I asked dd when PE was and she just shrugged her shoulders so I had to go and ask! When I asked other mums how they knew, they all looked really surprised and said their children had told them!!

Twiglett · 19/09/2006 21:45

not a piggin' thing

isn't it annoying

he's in yr 1 .. slightly more forthcoming but only if I trick him into it

SoMuchToBits · 19/09/2006 21:46

If I ask my ds (aged 5) what he did, or did he do x, y or z, the usual answer is "Can't remember". Perfectly normal, as I understand.

julienetmum · 19/09/2006 22:14

At nursery all I ever got was can't remember. However since dd has gone into reception she seems to enjoy telling me things. So much so that in conversation with the other parents in the playground it turned out I knew most of what they had done in the first week so ended up telling them what their children had done too.

Sometimes it has taken a little detective work, like instead of asking if she did PE asking if she wore her green t-shirt today.

Also what did you have for lunch gets wither the answer hot and yoghurt or sandwhiches and cake. It must be what they say to tell the children which meal has been ordered for them.

curiosity · 19/09/2006 22:17

Mine still rarely go into much detail even though they're older, lol.

I do remember the Head forewarning the parents that the children would say very little in the first few weeks.

CJinSussex · 19/09/2006 22:32

At pre-school I also got 'don't know' answers so I would ask leading questions - but not enough to be annoying and if she didn't want to talk I'd change the subject. Now she's started Reception (2nd week) we're getting more information each day - admittedly she's old for the year (5 next month) and is a complete gobshite. Tells me all the naughty things the other children have done but also pulls her big sister act and looks after the weepy ones. Gad, I'm proud!

DS1 is however, a closed book. He could be skiing naked down the corridors for all I know

kid · 19/09/2006 22:35

DD is in Year3 and still doesn't talk about her day at school. I know all about it anyway as I work there but if her dad asks her about the day, she doesn' tell him anything.

DS started Reception last week and tells us anything and everything! But then again, he loves talking.

Freddiecat · 19/09/2006 22:40

I only get extraordinary things such as "we don't have to wash our hands after playing with the playdough as they have clean playdough here!" (heard twice now!). Oh - and so-and-so brought a toast rack in to show everyone....

Usually he completely shrugs his shoulders or tells me that he doesn't want to tell me.

Try asking trick questions such as "did you do music or advanced calculus today?". Usually results in "no silly we do music on Mondays - today we did painting!".

prettybird · 19/09/2006 23:00

Ds does "nothing" at primary schools _he's now in P2 and this is the standard response since he started last year. To be fair, they wanred us about it.

We have to prompt him - did you do number time today? did you do any reading?

He mght volunteer some details - but you'll only ever get one chance to hear it as he won't repeat it!

flack · 19/09/2006 23:38

At front of the class is a board, listing the first hour's activities that the reception kids will do (at very least so the parents can get them started before leaving). It's good.

LiliLaTigresseIsntWhimsical · 19/09/2006 23:40

dd is in year 3 now, at a new school, and for the first time she is telling me quite a lot about school
until now it was just 'can't remember'
used to drive me up the wall

poppyseed · 19/09/2006 23:48

nothing unless it matters......like who she sat next to at lunch, the recorder teacher's hairy chin or what free fruit she had . That's my girl!

Original poster

MumtoLaura · 20/09/2006 21:10

Thanks everybody. Not so unusual then. I'm trying not to ask too much (don't want to pester her) - I'm just burning with curiosity!

OP posts:

twinsetandpearls · 20/09/2006 21:14

my dd "can't remember" and hat is as e are walking out fo school!

Every now and again she will tell me something but rarely.

She thinks I have magic powers though as I ahve told her I can rell what she has been eatng by staring at her tummy or looking into her eyes - I read it on the notice board in the playground!

Blu · 20/09/2006 21:19

Asking causes him to lose his memory immediately. Not asking causes him to need to tell me everything in great elaborate detail, usually with a fantasy extension, just as I want him to clean his teeth, or eat his breakfast.

BonyM · 20/09/2006 21:24

DD1 is in yr 4 now and I had started getting used to the "nothing" or "can't remember" answers.

Recently though I read the book "How to Talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" and it suggested not asking them, or saying "did you have a good day?" as it can make them feel pressured. Instead say something along the line of "it's nice to see you".

Tbh I was rather (yay! I've used the new emoticon!!), but amazinglly, it works. DD now tells me stuff without me asking anything, and once she's started telling me something I can then ask more questions about that particular thing which often will lead on to other stuff.

Twatcod · 20/09/2006 21:24

only at bedtime

BonyM · 20/09/2006 21:25

X-posts with Blu! (Did you read the book as well? )

motherinferior · 20/09/2006 21:25

I wrote an article last year about starting school, and one of the things I was told is that this is so very normal it's quite unusual for a child to tell you anything at all. If you see what I mean.

Blu · 20/09/2006 21:29

I can remember how i felt as a 4-5 year-old, feeling you had to answer all these questions....

motherinferior · 20/09/2006 21:30

DD1 does tell me stuff - usually - but DD1 is mad as a snake.

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