Differentiation, SEN, G&T, State schools, Privates

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At an end of school year party a mum was chatting to me about her dc. The older 2 go to a highly rated local prep school, while the youngest goes to our state primary. She explained that as the younger has SENs, he is better off at our school which is more "nurturing." Fair enough. He is a nice lad, well liked by all; she and her husband are supportive parents who are good to have on board.

Then I got to thinking of a couple of other families at the school with the same situation. Again, nice families, nice kids. Valued and welcomed by us all.

It did occurred to me that I have never, ever heard anyone say that they are sending their very able child to our school rather than private like their siblings because our school is so good for G&T. Or top sets or whatever it might be called (we have no formal G&T that I am aware of.) The traffic clearly only heads in one direction.

I wondered, why is this? Is the SEN really so good at our school? Will the private preps simply not accept the dc? Do parents think their SEN children aren't worth the money? (I actually know parents with dyslexic dc who would like to send them to specialist preps but cannot afford to. So I am just looking at what folks with the money actually do.) Is our school really poorer at stretching able children, or is it just a perception? If it is poorer at helping very able to children to flourish, why? Is it just our school, or is this a broad pattern across the country?

Lots of thoughts sloshing around my mind, but I just don't have enough breadth or depth of experience to know what to make of it.

Usually you have to pay extra for support/interventions etc in private schools which can work out really expensive.

I don't know how many local preps school you have, but many private schools won't accept kids with SEN. So then they have no choice but to send their child with SEN to state.

Your school may well be good at stretching able kids or a hundred other things but the prep school parents won't know that, will they.

It may depend what the plans for secondary are. If they are aiming for the 13+ entry for public schools, then the state sector is tricky as it only goes to 11 and doesn't prepare for these exams.

A good prep is focussed on getting children into selective schools and that is much of what parents are paying for. No matter how good the state school is for bright children, it's not going to provide the specialist tutoring or the kind of advice and contacts that an experienced HT can provide when choosing a private secondary.

A child with SEN (depending on what the SEN is) may not be a good fit in an exam-focused prep, the school may well not be geared up to deal with children with SEN or particularly keen to take them.

Certainly I wouldn't dream of sending a child with SEN to the prep I went to - they struggled to deal with anyone who didn't fit the extrovert, super-bright, confident, not quirky in any way, all-rounder

Obviously there are plenty of indie options that do cater for all abilities and even specialise in certain types of SEN, or that merely have lovely facilities rather than being 'prep' schools in the true sense of the word. There are also schools that are chosen by parents who merely prefer to avoid anything state for whatever reason.

So much depends on the prep. Our most local private school - not a posh prep at all - takes in loads with SEN as the smaller class sizes mean they don't get lost. The head teacher set it up in part because provision for her dyslexic son was so bad. They take all sorts, from gifted to SEN though.

I know there are private schools that cater very well for children with SEN. Lots don't know or simply won't let them in. Also from what I can see, they aren't always linked with the 3rd party specialist input that is open to state schools.

Our local prep school's response to a child with speech delay was perhaps he could stay down a year. Ds' state school worked really hard with him on his speech (and everything else) and by the end of year 2 he's achieved really well in all core subjects. Which is pretty impressive imho.

There are of course state schools who are pretty crap with SEN too, there's one local to me that has a reputation for managing children out

Every single school is an individual made up of individuals. There are too many variables in what you are asking to generalise.
In both the state and private sector there are schools that are brilliant at stretching able pupils and supporting SEN. That's before we consider dual exceptional individuals.

SEN and being G&T aren't mutually exclusive, you know.

I am dual exceptional the state system refused acknowledge either. I was luck my parents could afford private where both were recognised and supported. Between 8 and 12 I went to a rather unique school that taught by ability, but dormitories were by age. You tended to socialise with those in your dormitory.