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Primary education

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Original poster

When someone keeps kicking you in assembly, what can you do?

27 replies

mousiemousie · 13/09/2006 17:21

I'm asking this for dd (Y2).

One of the boys often kicks her repeatedly in school assembly. She has come home upset and angry today because she didn't know how to deal with the siuation to stop the kicking.

What should I advise? Tell the teacher won't work in a school assembly, and she can't speak to this boy either because they are supposed to be silent. Hitting back isn't her style. She could normally cope with this situation if it didn't happen in assembly.

Child in question is always kicking and hitting other children on a daily basis, not aimed at specific individuals, all the children are potential targets.

DD was told off today for hitting him back which she said she didn't (and it would a first for her to hit anyone in school). This upset her even more. Any sage words anyone can offer her?

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 13/09/2006 17:24

Can she race to the front / hang to the back of the line so he doesn't end up sitting near her?
IME he's trying to get her to squeak and make a fuss so she gets into trouble for disrupting assembly, so the only thing to do is make sure she doesn't give him that pleasure...

Original poster
mousiemousie · 13/09/2006 17:27

None of them want to sit next to him but dd claims she is often forced to by the teacher!

So should I just tell her it's one of these things to be endured? It's affecting me too because she was really cross and upset after school. GRRR.

OP posts:
Hallgerda · 13/09/2006 17:27

It sounds as if the teacher may not know what is going on. They can't be looking everywhere at once, even with that extra pair of eyes in the backs of their heads . As it's a repeated problem, someone needs to tell the teacher it's happening. If your daughter thinks the teacher won't believe her (and if she's been in trouble over the issue she may well think that), I'm afraid you'll have to go and have a word.

Hallgerda · 13/09/2006 17:30

Oh - I've just read your last post. If the teacher's making your daughter sit next to the kicking boy and is well aware what he's like, you definitely need to have a word with her, and if necessary escalate to the Head.

Medulla · 13/09/2006 17:31

Would she say in a really loud voice "Please stop kicking me"

Original poster
mousiemousie · 13/09/2006 17:38

the teacher is new to the school so might not be totally aware yet of what this child is like, or indeed what my dd is like - although if she hasn't worked it out already it won't take long!

She knows she will get into trouble for saying "Please stop kicking me" although I said this may be less unpleasant than being kicked. Not sure if she is brave enough to do it though!

I am worried it is too near the start of term to be talking to the teacher about...and that she will think I am making a big thing of a small issue. So I was thinking I should wait for another episode before speaking to the teacher?

I just wish I knew how to make my dd feel better!

OP posts:
Hallgerda · 13/09/2006 17:42

It's not a small issue to your daughter, or to you. And the school is failing in its duty of care - they are in loco parentis and allowing a child to be attacked by another and doing nothing about it is simply not on. Go and talk to the teacher.

joelallie · 13/09/2006 17:44

Yes mousie - 'please stop kicking me' said in a really loud voice would do the trick. Might embarrass your DD but also the kicker. No-one can object to her interrupting if she is being hurt.

Also reiterate to the teacher that it isn't your DD's fault.

sorrell · 13/09/2006 17:47

Blimey, she'd get in trouble for asking someone not to kick her? What kind of school is this?
Imagine asking someone at work to put up with being kicked by a colleague. Speechless.

Original poster
mousiemousie · 13/09/2006 18:13

Sorrell I draw the same parallels as you but school seems to be a lot more dangerous than work. I will try to persuade her to try the "please stop kicking me" method and see how that goes. Not sure if she is brave enough though as we are both pretty sure SHE will get in more trouble than the kicker .

Really appreciate all the advice so far - thank you

OP posts:
CrocodileKate · 13/09/2006 19:11

How about if she quietly gets up and walks to another space? If questioned after assembly she would then have chance to explain, hopefully, without getting herself into trouble?

Twiglett · 13/09/2006 19:13

turn round and say loudly "Please stop kicking me"

jac34 · 13/09/2006 19:17

Don't lnow if I'd advise my own children to do so,but if it were me I'd stamp on his foot

Original poster
mousiemousie · 13/09/2006 19:37

#stamping on foot not really possible from a sitting position, and dd wouldn't do it anyway!

I thought of getting up and moving but again she would need a lot of confidence to do this and would be told to sit down immediately or would be disciplined .

Having talked to dp I think I may have a brief word with the teacher. They do have a problem with this boy in that 2 years of school have not stopped him hurting other children on a daily basis. I can't help thinking that this is not good enough, not just for the other children, but for the boy himself, it doesn't do him any favours to let him continue in this vein

OP posts:
schnapps · 13/09/2006 19:40

Is there a reason why your dd can't talk to her teacher about this? That would be the obvious thing to do.

TitianRed · 13/09/2006 19:41

Have a quick word with the teacher. What are you waiting for? We are only human you know!

bambi06 · 13/09/2006 20:06

def have a word with the teacher but also ask the other parents which other children have been involved in this bullying and tehn with their permission go into the head teacher and explain the situation and make it clear that this is happening to other children as well and ask them specifically what they are going to do about it...

Jimjams2 · 13/09/2006 20:20

Are they sitting on chairs or the floor? If this boy kicks whoever sits next to him them they need to seat him so he can't. If it's chair - end of the row for him next to the teacher with an empty sppace in front of him preferably. If on the floor sitting him on a carpet tile might work (often does) as it indicates his space more clearly.

kid · 13/09/2006 20:29

You must tell the teacher, it shouldn't just be ignored. Speak to the teacher infront of your DD if possible, hopefully the teacher will be able to reassure her. I don't see why the boy can't sit at the teachers feet or by the wall. I don't see why other children should be hurt because he is bored or just being nasty. I know a boy just like that at DD's school

Furball · 13/09/2006 20:38

Is it possible for her to put her hand up and wait for a teacher to come over and ask her what the matter is.

Or maybe if she said 'Ow that hurt' in a loud voice, surely she can't get into trouble for that.

Gobbledigook · 15/09/2006 22:15

God, I wouldn't even think twice about raising this with the teacher.

Otherwise I'd tell her to hoof him back . IME at school, it was the only way to stop someone attacking me - once I had a go back they laid off.

All this 'no violence' business - you can try it, but if all else fails, a good hard kick back has worked on lots of occasions for me!

cece · 15/09/2006 22:17

Personnally I would go and see the teacher myself and explain what is going on. She probably doesn't have any idea and will be horrified that dd is suffering!

MarsLady · 19/09/2006 16:59

(Is kick them back the wrong answer?)

ScummyMummy · 19/09/2006 17:06

I think you need a word with the teacher if your dd really isn't allowed to say when someone's kicking her. Though I agree with gdg and mars that kicking him back could be good if she feels up to it- might be the quickest route to ensuring that it's more trouble than it's worth to let them sit together. But there could be other issues- maybe the boy has special needs or something plus your dd seems reluctant to retaliate and why should she have to if it's not her style. So I'd definitely have a word, myself.

Mercy · 19/09/2006 17:06

lol Marslady!

Agree with Gobbledigook - I wouldn't think twice about speaking to the teacher. Tell the teacher you would like a few minutes after school to discuss something concerninign your dd and X child.

(wouldn't involve other parents though)