Sex Education....

[bbombshell]

So my DS 7 (8 next week) had his "living and growing" lesson today and I just wondered where other parents stood on this?

Parents were given the option to see the video about a month ago and many of us didn't.

Approx 5 kids were not given permission to watch the video.

Is Yr 3 too young?? Would you rather your child hear the facts in lesson than second hand?

I would assume an 8 year old would already know the facts!

I'll be honest my DS has known the basics for a long while, but some parents were absolutely mortified by the idea of this lesson (it was mainly girls that were not given parental permission)

Our school drip feeds it right from reception. So it isn't such a big thing. We get to watch the video every year and it's all very age appropriate. Y3 get as far as it taking a sperm from man and egg from woman to take baby but doesn't explain how! Was surprised that Y4 one didn't seem to go much further this year - and think DD was a bit disappointed as I had told her about sex a few weeks ago (came about naturally from her questions following a conversation about periods that also just happened). But they did split them boys and girls and with girls mostly talked about periods which is actually most relevant to them as some may start soon.

In my experience, if they are not ready for it then it goes over their heads anyway but some parents get very hot under the collar about it eg worried their 8 year olds will be frightened if told about periods - to which my response was that they would be a lot more frightened if it started and they had no idea what it was!

I am sure it will be fine and is right to allow them to watch.

we tell our kids what they want to know when they ask and aged 7,9,11 they know pretty much how babies are made and what to expect when puberty sets in,however,we went to view the 'living and growing' dvds and just did not like them. I am happy for my 7 year old daughter to know the basics of reproduction but does she really need to learn about erections and wet dreams etc. I know people get lambasted on MN for saying things like that but I can think of no reason on earth that my child will be disadvantaged by not knowing these things at the age of 7. There were lots of kids who's parents decided not to let them see the videos in our school, for a variety of reasons, but the kids did not get teased. I would encourage all parents to see the material that school plan to show.It varies greatly school to school and it varies as to what is shown when. We have mixed age classes so often the year 5's are included on year 6 stuff but you can say that you wish your child to wait til year 6. Just be informed and make a decision based on your child and never feel pressurised by other parents.

Our school (state funded (VA) CofE) avoids this entirely. There has never been anything formal sent home. Certainly no film.

If someone knows out there - just wondering whether this is required or not in England?

DH started to get a bit worried about this when DD1 moved from vests to 'crop tops' and decided to delegate me to have the 'chat' as DD1 was clearly becoming 'a young lady'.

DD1 thought it was very sweet, but said she'd heard about it all from her friends with older sisters. I just went through 'changes' at puberty (time of month/ development of breasts/ pimples/ etc...) with her just to be sure she was also hearing it from me and to tell her a bit about my extremely spotty phase around age 13. Hopefully she won't have as bad skin or be as moody! DH says he only had maybe 1 or 2 pimples - lucky dog!

The living and growing DVD and books are excellent. Unfortunately the new alternative version has slightly less information on it. I think it's essential kids know about puberty at that young. I started puberty at that age! Thankfully my mum is great and I'd known all the facts of life since age 4 but not everyone has parents like that and going through puberty without knowing what is happening would be horrible.
I'm so confused about why parents are opposed to good sex education it really does your kids a disservice.

You don't ask to see maths DVDs before they are shown to the kids why PSHE? It's all essential education.

Pastsellbydate . Primary schools are still allowed to decide for themselves (ie the governing body) whether or not they have sex education or not. Parents should be informed when and what is being taught and still have the option to withdraw their children from the lesson.
In secondary schools there is some compulsory sex ed and other stuff that parents can still withdraw their children from.
I think why parents are so divided on this debate is that people think very differently about sex and this affects the way they feel about sex ed. If like me, you grew up believing that sex was a wonderful special thing that was to be shared with one other person in a committed lifelong relationship, then whilst you wish your children to understand the basics of reproduction and of course the changes to expect in puberty, you are not working on an assumption that they will be sexually active at 13 and therefore need to be taught all the details of how to have safe sex by much earlier.
If you think of sex as a fun recreational activity and were yourself having sex at the age of 13, of course you would wish your child to be fully informed and not to leave themselves open to std's and pregnancy.
Opinions have changed so much in just a couple of generations that I think that parents today are sometimes pressurising their children into being sexually active.They get put on the pill or given contraceptive implants to be safe and then are made to feel like an oddity if they are not sexually active. There are so many health reasons for us to be encouraging abstinence but it is so un pc to do so that people don't dare to any more.

What is that video?
In our school they are doing the talk in Y6 but I suspect they don't say the same thing in Y3.

In our previous school, they have being doing some sex ed from Y1~Y2 but we've never had any video or possibility to 'take the dcs' out. I just knew because dc1 came back saying 'oh when you become a teenager, boys voice change and they are becoming hairy. Yuck!'

Vbdfamily I certainly wasn't sexually active at 13 (love the generalisation )

I firmly believe that but introducing the concept of sex ed slowly as the child grows rather than as one big chunk when they 'come of age' is far more digestible and less scary. It also reduces the risk of the child being placed in situations where they are at risk.

I am never going to tell my children sex is something to have with only one person in a lifelong relationship. What a strange thought.

I was trying to pick the 2 extreme views rather than generalising as most people would be somewhere between the two. I certainly don't think kids should be given all their sex ed in one chunk as a teenager. My kids knew from the age of 4 or 5 how babies were made because they asked. My point is kind of reinforced by Greythorne in that some of us feel that sex is something special that you only ever share with hopefully one other and other people think that is a frankly weird concept.Kids are growing up being told/modelled very different things.I feel the current sex ed material in schools is based on the assumption that most kids will be sexually active as teenagers and that is not an expectation I wish my kids to have.I want them to grow up knowing that life is not all about sex,contrary to what the media might be trying to tell them and in fact there are some people in this world who have perfectly fulfilling lives without even having sex! Heaven forbid!! So....I choose to tell them what they want to know when they ask,what they need to know if they haven't asked and will only let them see material I feel is suitable and reflects our ethos as a family.

Sex education doesn't encourage kids to have sex as teens. Their hormones do that for them whether they have sex ed or not. There is no negative affect of children knowing about puberty and sex so we may as well tell them. Sex ed very much tells them that this is an adult activity but explains why they have sexual feelings even at their younger age. I don't think it should be a choice it is simply education. We don't not tell kids the effects of drinking in case it makes them drink! We tell them so they that are best equipped to deal with any issues!