Teachers - Do schools have a list of awkward, complaining parents :-)

[SockPinchingMonster]

Just wondering really if schools have a list of parents who they think are awkward/complain a lot.
Have a bit of an issue with school at the moment, tried to discuss it with TA this morning but she was a bit snotty and just fobbed me off which led to me sending strongly worded email to school.
Is that it for me now - will my card have been marked so to speak? DH says all schools have a list of parents to watch out for - are all future teachers going to view me with suspicion :-)
Just as an aside - the email wasn't that bad but I don't like to rock the boat usually so feel bad now I've sent it.

No they don't!

A good school woud be concerned when you sent the email. Teachers might talk to each other. No list though!

I feel that my son has marked our cards.

Three months into starting at a new school and apparently he told the TA that she'd marked all the dc work wrong he's still adamant she did.

I understand you totally OP. I don't like going into school to have a chat about anything as I normally come home feeling that I'll be viewed as one of 'those' parents.

Thanks for the replies - Deputy Head just phoned, he has looked into the problem and dealt with it, and will also put long term solutions in place so I'm feeling very happy. Still feel like I may have gotten myself a reputation though.

One email doesn't make you an awkward parents. Awkward parents don't get their kids into school on time, with the right stuff, don't do the support at home, dispute with the teacher, think their child is a genius, escalate issues without discussing with teacher first etc.

You don't need to worry. You could always email deputy head thanking them for getting back to you and resolving issue so promptly.

I bet most teachers have a mental list of parents who are a pain, but it's unlikely to be pinned to the staff room wall! And one email wouldn't get you on it!

DDs school (staff and parents) retained the exasperated shrug for

1. Dim parents who expected things to happen that clearly were beyond the school budget. Going back to five classes so their little darlings class didn't have to split was a prize example.
2. likewise expecting the PTA to move mountains without lifting a finger to help. And
3. the local resident who moaned about everything.

Legitimate, soluble problems I don't think, cause too much trouble.

I hope not, DD1 caused enough of them.

Sadly, I'm undoubtably on the high schools black list for getting very fed up with the new medical officer. We were both having a bad day.

Secondary schools don't have a list either (never put anything like that in writing!) but we might mention to a new teacher if a parent was a pain in the arse the previous year (spurious complaints or abusive) or if they turn up to parents evening drunk, or look like they are going to hit their child for a bad report.

No lists.

But when I pass a class on to a new teacher, I may mention if certain parents need careful handling. That wouldn't be after one email though- it would be if little Freddie's mummy comes to see me every night after school to complain about something, insists little Freddie can do know wrong and has been known to swear at the HT/DHT when little Freddie has been given a mild punishment.

OP, I don't think you need to worry.

Thank you everyone, I think I can stop worrying now. I rarely go to see the teacher about anything and don't generally complain so hopefully they will just see me as a concerned parent and not a pain in the butt.

One email doesn't generally put you into the league of awkward parents. That being said, if I know a parent is a complainer, then I do give the next teacher a heads-up that they are a PITA.

We are a small school; we all know ... nothing would be in writing, but really, keep your 'capital' for really serious issues; I do at DD's school.

No, we don't.

However, teachers and teaching staff do talk to one another, informally and more formally. The more formal stuff happens around transition time, etc. The informal in the staff room over coffee breaks or lunch.

We save the (mental not written down) list for the violent, threatening or verbally abusive parents... You have nothing to worry about!

With ref to your email - that's not the sort of parental issues we would be worrying about though.

We have a written list of parents banned from the playground, anything less than that is just a quick chat at transition time!

If they do we'd probably be on because we have had the temerity to complain 3 times that the maths homework/marking for my year 4 DD was incorrect. (Incorrect worked examples twice, answers marked wrong when correct once). This was the assistant head. It is unacceptable that a teacher can't do bottom set year 4 work / realise what they have set is wrong. I have no qualms about complaining about incompetence - equally I have written to thank the teacher on other occasions where they have gone above and beyond.

My last school had a note on the computer system for certain pupils to warn staff not to ring home directly but to go via head of year or SLT if you needed to contact home. It was generally for parents who were generally very aggressive or just plain bonkers.
Parents wishing to make valid and reasonable complaints do not make it onto that list even if you have to make several complaints.

That's a relief then!

School really disliked me. It was my own fault I suppose for uncovering various illegal things that they were doing. The Governors refused to discuss the issues and threatened me with legal action if I raised them with anybody else. I would hope that most schools wouldn't act that way to a parent who had a genuine concern.

BigDollyFan - whistle blowing can be a huge no-no...

We had a discussion, among parents, because a number of us started to believe our emails to ordinary staff were being passed to, and read, by the Head. We all had an uneasy feeling about it and some parents felt they had proof. It would not have surprised me. It was the Head who was paranoid! Sort of big brother in school!

With regard to 'chain of command'- usually it is a School directive that TAs have to request that parents discuss queries with the Class Teacher in the first instance. It is imperative that the Class Teacher knows about issues arising and deals with them personally. - exceptions of course are simple passing on of messages and where a TA may be working with a pupil with a Statement as part of general home/school liaison with the Class Teacher's express permission. The TA might simply have been directing the OP to the Class Teacher as per instructions?

... and yes, we do discuss in the staff-room over our coffee & biscuits, but only if the issue is particularly interesting. No list. Soon forgotten.

The parents who are least popular are those who feel the need to collar the teacher every single morning to pass on some random bit of crap important information. Every.single.day....

its the minor stuff that some generally very overprotective/ pushy parents get wound up about. People bother teachers about stuff I would just not waste their time with. If there is a real problem that is totally different.