Thanks all very helpful, it does sound like they'd be using Reading Recovery but it seems a bit odd, I wonder why they'd use that as the first exposure to reading vs catching up or getting over problems?
DiamondAge don't worry I know you weren't suggesting I did anything else with ds at the moment, I was just wondering if people thought my approach is the best one given ds lack of confidence when it comes to 'proper learning'?
This thread has made me think, what's the right approach to help him specifically with his 'thing', to help reduce the risk of him getting really upset at school? It's not the actual learning I'm concerned about, but giving him the best chance of having positive experiences at school to start with to give him confidence?
I don't know if he'll be the same at school, as he is in nursery (not a preschool one but a long-day-lets-me-work-one he goes to three days a week at the moment). It started when they did the alphabet using worksheets, at age 3 (that had letters on and then dotted letters to trace) that he first did the 'withdraw and freeze in misery' thing. It went on for weeks and really changed his whole character he was so miserable, and took ages for me to work out what was happening, then more time to meet with the nursery and get to the bottom of it all.
I think it was partly because he didn't understand what to do, and that he saw others doing well when he couldn't even approach it. It got solved by him moving early up to the top class as it turned put they have a much better way of starting letters, like drawing them in sand, feeling sponge shapes etc and it took the terror away, as it wasnt that sit down and write on your own stuff. As to why they thought that was suitable in a class for 2.5-3.5 yr olds, heaven only knows, and it went back to learning through play as soon as he moved classes.
But it really knocked his confidence, and even now, at 4yrs 3 mths, he now will try once to do something then if it goes wrong (in his eyes - perfectionist) he'll cry and scribble over whatever it is or try and throw it away. And then he doesn't want to try again. Which means he doesn't get better at it and it confirms in his head that he can't do stuff.
So I'm thinking he has a few things to sort out:
- confidence (a general one Ive been doing lots of work on, but he does seem to be going through a rough patch poor sweetheart)
- practising (ie everybody needs to do it & it can be fun)
- perfectionism (he's so hard on himself and it's sad to watch him beat himself up about something I think is great)
And I'd been doing that by not doing any of the things that signal 'something to pass/ fail at', and working slot of confidence, and then just occasionally showing him how try and try again gets you to where you want to be - like when mummy is practicising (presentation for work, Pilates exercises, anything really!), I'll just draw his attention to it, and if he does do something where he's build it up over a few goes I also give tons of praise (even stuff like climbing a ladder etc).
But I guess I'm now thinking, thats all pretty indirect stuff, and should I start tackling some stuff head on, to give him a 'head start' at a few things, to try and break the pattern of him freakimg out? Or just trust that he'll be older by September, and the teacher is very experienced?