Dd and DS start reception together in a year and not sure what to do.

[EmilyElephantTrumpets]

Dd currently 3, and ds3 is 2 will both start school in September 2015. As things stand I don't think DS is ready but that's by the by as we have plenty of time and I'm trying not to compare them. It's hard though, dd has already had a year at preschool, DS starts this September and the gap is widening!

Is there anything you would do if you were me? Separate classes isn't an option as it's a one form entry and so delaying DS start to January or Easter is the only thing I can think of. Won't that disadvantage him even further?

The other thing is dd is a complete mother hen and I worry that he will have everything done for him and not given the chance to make his own friends or similar.

Argh!! Any advice or am I worrying over nothing? :)

Tricky situation. I wouldn't delay his start date, personally, I think I'd just see how it goes. Perhaps you could ask the teacher to ensure that your ds is given the space to make his own friends, do stuff for himself?

You have more than a year to go before they start. Both of your children will change a lot during that period. I don't think you need to worry about it for now.

agree plenty of time before they start and DS3 will likely come along loads in that time, especially with 2 older siblings to catch up with!

I wouldn't make the decision about delaying entry just yet - wait and see how he's doing come August next year - so much can change in that time...

if the school is single form entry then you can't have separate classes, but am sure they will be on separate tables - maybe ask about this nearer the time, and also talk to the teacher about what he/she will do to support them as individuals

being boy/girl may make it easier too as they will likely naturally form friendships with other boys/girls rather than both going after the same friends if you see what I mean! (I know this isn't always true and that girls can be friends with boys and vice versa but in general I think it does make it easier if they are not same sex)

I have twin boys who start in Sept 15 and my dilemma will be whether to have them in same class or separate (assuming we get place at nearest school which is 2 form entry)

maybe nearer the time have a read of the twins thread - always lots of debate on there regarding how to get it right with starting school :-)

The range of abilities at the start of reception is huge, schools expect that and are used to working with it. I think you'll be fine as long as it's the older one that's ahead academically, as your kids will expect that. Could even be handy - big sis might even be able to give little brother a hand or at least set a good example with homework and stuff. I think it'd be trickier to manage if the younger one got ahead at some stage. Or if they fight - sounds like they get on quite well?

I wouldn't delay entry I don't think. Reception is a very gentle start, mostly play but they do sneak the learning in, and that will help him catch up.

The issue with her babying him - again wouldn't worry too much at this stage. If it makes it easier for them both starting, great. I'm sure the teachers will step in if it becomes an issue as they would with twins if one is too dominant.

Thank you both. I guess from now on they will be treated like twins. Sad for DS though, people might expect too much of him. In a way I guess it's easier that it's only one form so the decision is taken out if my hands, I can believe it's incredible stressful suitcase to make a choice like that and wonder if it's right or wrong.

I will def talk to the teacher and also the preschool, which weirdly I'm not fussed about as it's so free flow and dd is settled there and DS can start with his own new lot.

Sorry x posts. Thank you also catkind They do get on very well for the most part but yes fighting/arguing could happen.

At the moment dd is the one who is 'ahead' as is to be expected but I guess as they get older the age gap will seem even smaller (like it doesn't now!!)

Is it definite that they will go to this school as it's over a year off? Are there any 2 form entry schools near?

Where I work we have two children in the same class from the same family - they are a school year apart though (small school, mixed classes) and they are fine. Mum was worried that the little one wouldn't stand on his own two feet but to be honest, unless you know you wouldn't know they were brothers.

I'm sure this won't be the first time the school and/or teacher has experienced this - they'll know how to handle things to the best advantage of both DCs

Ds1 and ds2 have already been through this school (ds2 still there) and it's our village school, we won't not get them in (though I wonder how admissions criteria works in out case...). Two form entries are probably in the big town schools but that's a drive away and doesn't make sense for our family unless forced to.

I'd do a two firm entry school if possible, even if it is inconvenient.

My dts started off in a single entry school and it was a very negative experience for ds, among other thing being constantly compared to his sister by staff, kids and other parents, I ended up moving them.

Really? It would probably mean moving ds2 who is settled and us relying on two cars. I like this school a lot and they will move with pre school pals and neighbours.

Do you mean it's a Reception/Pre school miss? Or are they born in the same school year?

They are born in the same school year - sorry I realise that wasn't clear. Dd is 2nd September and ds is 8th August the following year. She will be 5 and he will be 4 when they start Reception in Sept 2015.

I have an August boy who coped really well with starting school so I wouldn't worry about your ds being ready.

Do you think she will move on and make her own friends and leave him to it? Are they in preschool together?

I think you will see a wider gap between them at the moment if one is already at preschool but the other hasn't started yet but once the second one starts then the gap will lessen again, then it may widen again and lessen again as they get older. I am assuming they are born in the same academic year as ElizabethMedora says.

I think it will be fine - the teacher will split the children into groups based on a lot of things initially so can take into account keeping them apart for some stuff, they will make different friends I am sure as girls and boys tend to I think and as they develop and groups may become ability based they will be treated as individuals and be placed where is right for them.

If you know the school well I would trust them to deal with it. I work in a half-form entry village school that currently has three sets of twins and two other sets of siblings in the year 5/6 class. All the children concerned are seated away from their siblings and treated as individuals. In some ways this is easier to do in a small school because all adults get to know all children, which is not possible in a big school.

Hi, I have b/g twins who are just coming to the end of their reception year. They are at a single form entry school (there are other choices in our town, but we liked this school best - I might have felt differently if I'd have same sex twins, but then again, I might not).
While I know it's different to your situation, there are similarities. School have been great, the DTs do some things together and some things separately. If one of them is having a bad day, they'll gravitate to the other a bit. They are forming closer friendships with children of their own gender, but overlap a fair bit too.
The dynamics with my DTs are that DTD is the more confident - DTS took a (long) while to settle at school, as he did at preschool, but she remained blithely unaffected by this. She is also speeding ahead of him in reading (he is doing perfectly well, but not progressing as fast as she is). They are both aware of this, but in a largely matter-of-fact way - DTS has been briefly upset about it once or twice, but we have repeated the 'everyone is different, you are doing well FOR YOU, here are some of your special qualities/strengths...' stuff. I think on balance them being together has been a good thing for them.
I know your situation is different, but the gap will close as they go through school. I think if you have confidence in the school that counts for a lot.
Hope that helps a bit.

I think that in a village school with only 30 or less in a year group people are very quickly get to know you children as dd and ds and not expect them to be twins because they are not. You may want to emphasise it by having a birthday party for the elder one quite soon after they start school and making it very clear it is Not a joint party. Buy them different coats, different lunch boxes and if possible different school jumpers.

I have a mixed year 1/2 class and so have 2 sets of siblings. Apart from when lining up alphabetically, the siblings are never near each other.

Thanks this has been useful. I forgot that on mixed classes it's probably quite normal to have lots of sibling sets together.

Dd, her speech especially is really good, she can write her name and read other family members names, been dry for 18 mths and recently dry at night too.

Ds is still not potty trained has only been walking for 18 mths! And speech is quite unclear. All relatively normal for their ages and I hope the PP was right that preschool will also bring him on.

I was good friends at secondary school with a brother and sister in the same year ( September born girl, august born boy) they had been in the same class at primary but I went to a different primary. They were both bright and did well at GCSEs, and at A level the sister did well and the brother did exceptionally well, so being the younger sibling didn't hinder him. Also when they were younger they very much had their own friends, each played with their own gender, but once we hit 15 we were all part of a large mixed group who hung out together.

I have a slightly bigger gap between my eldest two but they attend a tiny village school so will spend 5 out of their 8 years there in the same room. Do is heading into y5 and ds1 into y4 and it'll be the first time they've been apart since y1/2 iyswim?

They thrive there, the teachers have a lot of sibling pairs because of the set up and there are never any comparisons made, the elder ones aren't expected to mind the younger and they have their own friendship groups as well as shared friends. Ds1s best friend shares a birthday with dd.

I have no complaints at all, with the right school and teachers there is no issue whatsoever