Working parents - how do you deal with homework / after school clubs etc

[Loueytb3]

Went to DS2's induction for junior school last night and broke out into a cold sweat about 1) dealing with homework that had to be done during the week and 2) how I was going to ever be able to organise for him to go to an after school club when I work. Talking to another working parent, she had exactly the same thought.

So, working parents how the feck do you manage it? He's apparently going to have a piece of homework to be done during the week, spelling, times tables and reading and then a piece to be done over the weekend. I know it's only going to get worse as well as he gets older. I get home at 6.15pm with 3 DCs to manage and get to bed. Its manic. There is barely time to do reading and that's tough to do 1-1 because someone is always shouting for me. He currently has activities Monday and Wednesday evenings which rules them out of doing homework (its after 7pm when we get home from them). I want to start piano lessons but I can't see how we can fit it in. DH is usually not back home until just before they go to bed, or often afterwards so can't be relied upon for help during the week.

Argh

DH and I work flexibly so our evenings start earlier than yours but essentially

• reading is done at bedtime, at junior level they can usually read on their own at least sometimes. Or the DC read to me while I am cooking or something

• where homework is spread over several days the DC have it drummed into them that the have to do the lions' share on non-activity days

• 7pm is not too late for homework to start, remember they will start going to bed later once in juniors (my junior age DC have clubs that don't see them home till 8 or later)

• on a similar vein, you can do clubs that allow time for homework and then the club because the DC stay up later

• but move clubs to weekends where possible

• do homework/music practice in the morning if that works better

• they do get more homework as they get older, but also are more likely to be able to do it on their own! My DC are Y3 and Y5 and it's now only the rare piece of homework (and projects, but we tend to do those at weekends) that need adult input. The hardest point was when they had lots of spellings and times tables and needed testing on them but this is the sort of thing you can do in odd minutes

• projects (or anything that needs lots of adult input) is restricted to weekends.

• can they do anything at ASC/childminder?

It is hard - I think the junior years are the hardest in terms of they do more, have more homework but still need an adult with them

Brilliant advice from redskyatnight, couldn't have said it better.

Don't forget, you will always find a way, you just need to think it through and try a couple of approaches. My DD is in Year 4, and the homework mentioned at the meeting before she started in Year 3 wasn't half as much as they said.

Also, if your DS has 2 activities and you want to add on piano lessons - perhaps you need to rethink the amount of activities? My DCs do max. 1 club weekly, any more is too stressfull for them and me.

dd1 does fewer activities than her friends - she just has one weekly sports activity.

However I am of the (miserable) school of thought that thinks kids nowadays are overscheduled and have too much structured time, so personally I don't think it's a bad thing. Also, DH and I try to be flexible so that someone's home at 5.15 at least once a week. Not always possible, but it's what we aim for.

Any chance your childcare can oversee homework or reading? DD1 is with MIL 2 days/wk, and on those nights I get MIL to hear her read. Some of dd1's friends do their homework at afterschool club, but we've not managed to persuade her to join them.

Until last year we were all home between 5.30 - 6pm, dinner on the table around 6.30pm. I cooked, DH read with DD. If it was not possible, she reads to us in bed.

Homework is, so far, weekends only.

Last year DH's work changed and he now works from home. This means he brings DD home at 5pm, reads, violin practise or brings her to the gymnastic lessons on Tuesdays. Violin lessons are during the school day at school.

DD has drama/singing on Fridays when I work from home until pick up time and Saturdays she goes swimming. We told her no more activities until we know the Junior requirements for homework or general school work. We also had issues with bedtime, so a late club like Brownies is out for the moment as well.

DD could read at her childminder but I think she needs the break and exercise there after school. But I know some of the children there are doing their worksheets and books but they are Y4-5.

From what I understand from parents with children already at Juniors the homework under the week is designed to be done by the child, parents are expect to check not help. Weekend homework is child-let with parental input and help like researching on the computer.

Loueytb3:

I agree with redsky in the sense that developing a routine does make 'dealing with homework/ after school clubs easier'.

As DD1 got older - really from mid to late Y4 - she started to do more and more of her homework herself at her after school club. Now her after school club is in fact a 'play club' and definitely not a homework club. However, they have no objections to children doing some homework there if they want to - and given our lovely weather earlier this spring - you may as well do a bit of homework if you can't go outside and play.

Several tricks:

If you have more than one child. Divide and conquer. One parent help with bath - or start bath and leave child to it if old enough. And read with child #2.

No tv in the morning. In many cases a maths worksheet takes

Misscph1973 you are right we will find a way, I guess it just seems a bit daunting at the moment. Especially since I will be doing the lion's share of it all.

DCs go to a childminder after school. She looks after quite a few children after school and I think it's not feasible that he does his homework there. She used to have a separate room for homework but now it's her oldest DC's bedroom.

He will switch to cubs when he is 8 so that will be a different day/time, which may (or may not) help.

Redskyatnight - Apparently all project work will be done over a weekend (dreading that, especially the arty ones). Numeracy he is pretty good at so if that is set during the week then it will be less of a problem. Literacy he needs a lot of guidance with as he will do the minimum possible and is the master of distraction. At what point did you let your DCs just get on with homework by themselves (rather than sitting next to them whilst they were doing it?)

BarbaraPalmer - I know what you mean about being scheduled I want to try and avoid that if possible. We already do swimming at the weekend and I am reluctant to add anything else at the weekend as I would like at least one day without having to go to a club. I guess the thing I'm struggling with is how is he going to know which activities he likes/will be good at unless he tries them?

The other complication is that he is a twin, and his twin has ASD. Trying to get him to do homework is v difficult, even at the weekend. I am dreading hearing what he will be expected to do in Yr 3 (different school so haven't had that info yet).

Ds is 15 now so this was what we did in his earlier years;

Homework (anything which doesn't require a cattle prod) is done whilst I'm burning cooking the supper. We eat, and then I'll give a hand with anything that needs it. There's no time for after school clubs though so we generally do things at the weekends and during the school holidays.

Pastsellbydate mornings are out really (aside from perhaps practising times tables). Currently our mornings look like get DCs up at 6.45, run around like headless chicken, yelling at them to get clothes on/brush teeth etc, leave house at 7.25. They have breakfast at the CM's, apart from Friday, so perhaps that's a possibility, although cutting it fine.

DH rarely home to help. And has bugger all patience, but clearly needs to develop some so that he can help at least some of the time.

Why are my hyphens coming out all wrong

We get DLA - I'm assuming Direct Payments are different?? Are they means tested because if so, we are unlikely to get them as higher rate taxpayers.

You may have given me an idea though about getting someone to help for one evening a week. Our babysitter is ASD trained and is about to start college in September so is generally free in the evenings. She's 10 an hour though, so its not cheap when you add that up over a month.

I find it hard.

We get home about 6:10. DD is yr 3 and is very tired by then. She eats at her childminders so at least I don't need to feed her, but goes to bed at7. There is no point doing homework, even reading is hard for her though we do 10 mins about 3 times a week. We do spellings and mental maths ( sometimes tables , sometimes doubling or other addition, subtraction) in the car on the way to her childminders every week day morning. All written homework is at the weekend. I've had to explain this to several teachers this year as DD is getting a series of supply teachers, the school is not impressed with me as they expect a little week day evening work to be done. But it isn't practical. We always catch up at weekends and I have asked to be given it early so we don't fall behind, but that never happens.

It's easier with DS in yr 6, for a start his mental maths and spelling are better than mine, so I am no longer useful for any homework he gets on these lines. And he is less tired and independent enough to be able to do more on his own. Reading is the problem because unless his teacher specifically sets it, he doesn't do any, he dislikes reading. If the teacher does set some , he always does it, and is of an age to decide when to do homework in order to hand it in on time and annoy him the least. So really I just let him get on with it and sign his book and get him to show it me when he has finished. Luckily he's responsible.

We do a few clubs, athletics is Thursday and cricket Friday, so no homework those evenings. Luckily the school does some clubs on site after school and the kids go to them while I am still at work , they do cross country running on Monday, choir on Tuesday and sometimes IT on Wednesday.

Lots of clubs at weekend too - swimming and tennis and yet more cricket.

Spellings and times tables are done on the way to school. Homework task has to be done on the non activity day and reading every night at bedtime. Sounds like you are pretty busy though and if it all gets too much I would consider cutting back on activities for a while.

JadedAngel - that's very helpful thanks. I will put a post on the SN board and see if I can get more feedback about how to access them

Milk - sounds very similar to my situation. I try and get them into bed by 7pm because they are knackered and really need the sleep. I wish they had more stamina really because then we would have some time after they get back from the CM to do homework. Even reading is fraught.

Hi,

I have a boy in year 5 and a girl in year 1. My youngest gets homework to do at the weekend and it takes less than 15 mins. My eldest gets on with his own homework now (I make him...of course, helping if he is really stuck).
Reading we tend to do every night with the youngest. Again, it is only 5 or 10 mins as the books are so short. My eldest is left to read on his own. Luckily, both of mine are great readers.
It is secondary school I am dreading...HOMEWORK FOR EACH SUBJECT!

Are you sure they will actually get much homework?

My DS is 13 now and I can honestly say he has never had much homework (despite my complaints to all of his schools ).

I think teachers make a big thing about homework but a lot of schools don't actually provide much. Certainly at primary DS never had more than a bit of reading or a few spellings or a maths sheet.

Even at secondary he rarely has much homework - supermum don't start worrying yet - although I do worry about the lack of homework.

Louey

I think Ragwort raises a good point. Aside from reading - which can be done pleasantly before bed - most maths/ research/ writing (English) homework assignments are usually 10 - 20 minutes worth and can easily be fit in. My advice is prepare your DH for more helping out with other tasks - maybe cooking dinner, whilst you help DCs with their homework.

Long hours are hard to juggle with kids - but there are weekends and as they get older - trust me - they'll be battling early bedtimes.

-----

Supermum

Genuinely in secondary it really does have to be down to them. Yes, they can ask your opinion or maybe ask for a bit of help here and there - but they should be doing their own homework themselves.

I personally have seen my job (admittedly with DD1 seriously struggling initially so needing lots of support) during primary as helping her move from me guiding her with what to do (e.g. how to sound out words, explaining what words mean, correcting spelling/ punctuation/ capitalisation, explaining how to do basic maths skills) to her being able to have an assignment and see it through herself. She's still pretty shaky on planning out a writing assignment on a topic - and often likes to have a little chat with me before getting started - but more and more DD1 (Y6 now) is in a position to handle homework in Y7.

Obviously schools are different - but many secondaries have libraries open after school (schools around here tend to close at 3 p.m. and libraries stay open until 4:30) - so many opt to use the school library/ computer suites to do their homework and tend to come home with most or all of their work completed.

I fear one of the things that is overlooked with homework is that it also instills skills like: time management, planning, dedication, perseverance, etc... and frankly building these skills coalesces into someone with a strong work ethic.

My experience seems slightly different than others on this thread. Not sure if it will help but here it is.

I have DS in yr 3 and DD in yr 1. DS's homework really ramped up in yr2 so I made the decision to get an after school nanny.

DS gets French, Spanish, spelling, times tables and reading to do during the week. Nanny does all these with him, apart from reading which he does by himself before bed.

On a Friday he brings home his main homework which has to be in the following Tues. Me or DH do this and this almost always takes at least an hour, sometimes more. It varies on what it is based on. Last week's was to watch a sporting event on TV and write about camera angles, commentators and other types of information as they are making their own film this week.

DD brings home French, Spanish, spellings, times tables and reading. Again nanny does these with her. She also sometimes brings home additional homework which again varies in nature. She didn't have any this week but DH and I try to do it with her. Hers usually takes approx. 15-30 mins.

DH and I both work f-t. I'm normally home for 630-700. DH when he's not working away, is rarely home before 7.

Sorry I should also point out DS has a club every night except Thursday so this is his main homework day. DD has fewer clubs. She's only busy after school on a Wed and a Fri

Luckily our school doesn't set too much homework, so both DDs do it all on Saturday morning, and DD1 (yr4) does a little extra on Tuesday evening before its due on Wednesday. We make DD1's (yr1) reading part of bedtime stories, which isn't ideal as I know they're not supposed to be tired, but it seems to work. Other than that, I shoot spelling or times table questions at DD1 at all kinds of random times to keep her on her toes! We do lots of it in the car.

Obviously they can't do school-based after school activities as they go to after-school club instead. We're lucky that our after-school club takes DD2 over to Rainbows (which is over the road from after-school club) and someone from Brownies comes to the club to collect DD1 and loads of other girls, so they get to do those activities. I also take them to karate, and they used to do dancing on a Saturday too.