would you bring your child to view a primary school?

[fluffymouse]

I thought it was standard practice to bring them along, but I viewed my first primary school recently, and all the parents there were childless.

I felt like I had missed some kind of 'no child' memo. What is the done thing?

On one of the day time school open mornings some did bring the children and that was ok as it was small groups and the children were quietly behaved. The evening event was a presentation and session to give out information. It was ruined by couples where both parents came along with 2-3 under 5s with them and then they did not take the children out when they then started shouting or crying and screaming. School halls are very echoey.It was dreadful and showed a lack if respect for others. The poor teacher had no chance. I am sure you wouldn't do the same :)

I took my DS with me on 2 of the 4 schools we looked at because the visit times were when he was at home with me and I have no alternative childcare. The other schools visits were times when he was at nursery. I did check with the schools each time if it was ok.

He's going to one of the schools he didn't look round but is totally unaware of this. When we talk about he asks if it's the one with the water tray he liked and I just say yes. He's 4 1/2 and doesn't remember enough from seeing 2 schools 9 months ago to realise which one was which.

I went round the school on my own first with the Head so that I could ask questions and concentrate on what was being said without having to worry about DS. It was also good to go during the normal school day and one of the factors in my decision was the atmosphere, the fact that the Head knew the children, spoke to them as we passed and I got to see what a 'normal' lesson looked like.

Once the decision was made we took DS (and DH!) to an Open Day where we checked that children would be welcome. There were lots of activities for DS and he still has the badge and bookmark that he made. Yes, there was an element of 'theatre' but I had already seen the normal daily life.

It was invaluable when we came to him actually going to school that he had visited and we could talk about it with him and the things he had seen.

I took DS if he was with me that day, but didn't make any special effort to have him with me if he'd normally be elsewhere. Often ended up having to hoik him out of the reception class, which I took as a good sign.

For in year transfer for Year 1 DS, I took him (as he was HEd at the time ...he got a questionnaire to fill in about each school as our writing for that day!), and for 3 of the 4 we looked at I also took DD as her pre-school times weren't long enough to cope with 45 minutes there, view, 45 minutes back (we were moving town).

As DS was at that point a recovering school-induced selective mute, how the school reacted to him, and how he saw it, was crucial in the choice. We ended up at the school where the head showed the children round, with one hanging off each of his hands, with me simply an observer in their wake.

When ds1 was 2.5 we went to view the school we were considering. We went into the afternoon nursery class (which has the just-turned 3 year olds so not that different to ds1).

He was just allowed to crack on and play with the others when dh and I spoke to the teachers. When the head showed us the rest of the school, we left him in the nursery class (at their suggestion) and when we came back after 15 minutes he was sitting on the carpet with all the others singing songs.

That's the sort of welcome and experience I was looking for, and i'm so glad we took ds1 with us that day. It's the only real way to get a feel if the school fits your dc.

We took dd to three out of four of the ones we were looking at. The fourth didn't allow it, which put us off.

That said, we looked around first without her - then took her in to see how she felt, and watch her body language and interactions with the adults. It made choosing very easy

We didn't for any of our tours (state) .
One school in particular positively banned children . They got arsey about only having one parent as well as their tours were so popular

Mainly state, but I have taken a 4 year old on tours of private senior schools. No-one batted an eyelid. I would be more wary of open days, but yours are usually with children. Sometimes our local very selective ones have come and play days. Any school which is too restrictive, I tend to view with suspicion, they may not betraying anymore. Great schools I know tend also to know if you don't keep welcoming and trying, the only way to go is down.

Wedded bliss whilst it must have been lovely to have the chance to leave your child in a class, many schools just can't cope with the volume of applications and parents wanting a look round. Ours has 300-400 people putting it as a preference. About 250 put it as 1st choice for 90 places. All the schools near us are the same. Two of the one form entry schools get up to 200-300?preferences. They have to manage the volumes. They are all brilliant schools but it's unrealistic to see how they interact with each prospective child

It's interesting to see different points of view.

Next week I'm viewing the local state primary. I asked them about bringing dd and they said its totally up to me. Should I keep her off playgroup? Still not sure.

If it's definately your first choice and it's highly likely she gets in and the school are happy to have children on show rounds then it's a nice idea to take her. She might enjoy going to look what a school is like. My DD was at 1st choice school nursery so I didn't take her on any of the 6 visits I did. It would have just confused her. She had it in her head she was going to her school etc but it is massively over subscribed so I needed to look at all our options - thankfully we got in school no1 so I didn't need to disrupt her. I didn't get the chance to see how they interacted with DD but did get a very close look at how each school was with its own pupils. One outstanding v close school where we would have got in made me want to run a mile. One RI ofsted school was lovely and had the friendliest feel

Thank you bear.

Whether she would go to this school depends on a whole variety of factors: it is our first choice state school but we may go private and she may not even get a place. I may not take her as maybe it would be too confusing.

I took DD1 when we came to choose a school - there are only two primaries in our town though, so not a lot of choice. It was individual visits in both schools, both schools made DD very welcome and in the end DD and I agreed as to which school we should put as first choice (not our catchment school but this was 10 years ago so long before the pressure on school places). DD really enjoyed the visits.

With DD2 we just sent her to the school DD1 was at.