New school yr5 not going great

[Sadboysadmum]

Hi would welcome some advice. We moved house (250 miles) inn Easter hols and DS yr5 transferred into the local school. He had been at his previous school since nursery and was v happy there. It was hard for us all taking him out. He was a v popular boy with good friends and was doing well, he has some mild additional learning needs.

The first week in new school was great but second week on has not been so good although not dreadful. One boy in particular, is v v friendly out of school and for most. Of the time in school but suddenly starts calling DS names (dumbass etc) and hitting him. DS does not want us to say anything at school or to boys mum who is v nice and actively encouraging friendship.

DS has said he is dreading going back to school. I know it was going to be a wrench and adjustment I am not sure what to do next. Moving back is not an option

Go and see the class teavher and get the behaviour from the other boy nipped in the bud. Just because he's friendly and his mum is nice doesn't give him the right to call your ds names as its making your ds very unhappy and will get worse if left. Also ask the teacher if its possible to give your ds a buddy (not the boy hitting him!) as year 5 can be a time of very established friendships. I knoe you've said your ds doesn't want you speaking to school but they can't resolve what they dont know about

Thanks in the - that's what my plan was to do, just wanted to hear others views

Sounds awful, am bumping this incase others have advice.

Thanks just too got appointment with teacher

SadboySadMum:

My DD1 (with no additional needs) has the same behaviour from the 'mean' girls at her school. They're charming as pie when I'm around, but pull her hair/ put food in her hair/ write on her shirt in indelible pen/ etc... all day long.

Say something. You don't have to have a row with a teacher/ parent. But you do have the right/ your child has the right not to be taunted or hit during his school day. It's that simple.

My other advice is blank the Mum of this boy. If she says hello - smile but don't say anything. If she approaches you and says 'is there a problem'. Just smile and say I think you need to speak with your son.

Oops forgot to say - that after about a month of putting up with it and my asking Why is their ink on your back? Why is hair uneven. I did rather lose it with gum in her hair and it all came out. I said something to the teacher. It wasn't immediate - but they have backed off.

Fortunately in Y6 - the ultimate threat is you can't go on the Y6 trip to amazing roller coaster park if this behavior continues. Very wise teacher plans trip at end of penultimate week of school year - ensuring good behavior and then lots of steam let off at sports day/ parties/ park trips etc... in last week.

Is the other mum encouraging this friendship because her son isn't popular...for a reason?

Is your son doing any outside school activity eg football/scouts where he can also make friends? So it's not all school focussed?

I think she's encouraging friendship because she see my DS as "good influence".

He is doing cubs, crossfit and horse riding. Cubs is basically same boys, crossfit good and he is enjoying only just started. Horse riding he does on his own

Your DS is 10.i wouldn't speak to the teacher without his agreement because otherwise he might not tell you things in future.

Had a chat with DS this pm and persuaded him that us saying something to his teacher would be a sensible thing to do.

Hi Sadboy:

I know it's scary to complain - but it will give your DS some power - because kids get a sense of who will say something if they 'misbehave' and tend to avoid doing so around those types.

I'm glad your DS is involved in lots of activities - that will help him settle.

The thing to hold on to is that there is only 1 year left in this primary school. Year 6 really will fly by (trust me DD1 is finishing Y6 now - and it has zoomed past in a blink of an eye).

HTH

Thanks all