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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

ds changing school at end of term - how can I reassure him

8 replies

JimBobplusasprog · 22/05/2014 20:40

Ds is going to a new school in September - moving from state to private. He's currently having a big wobble: he doesn't want to go, he'll miss his friends, he'll try to get himself expelled!

This is out of character. He is also having some friendship issues in school at the moment as there are only 7 boys in the year and they seem to be forming tribal factions.

We want to move him as we think it's best for him in the long term. Is this sort of wobble normal for children moving school? How can I help him get through the last half of term?

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GreenerthanGrass · 22/05/2014 21:09

Watching with interest as in v similar situation- no advice though. Sorry

HandbagAddiction · 22/05/2014 21:12

Ditto! I have no problems about moving dd2 who is in Y3 currently. I don't think that she'll squeak anything negative about going, but I have the same issues as the OP for dd1........

OublietteBravo · 22/05/2014 21:12

I'm watching too. DS is also moving to a private school in Sept and is having a bit of a wobble.

(DD was in the same position this time last year - she absolutely loves her current school).

HerRoyalNotness · 22/05/2014 21:13

Talk about the positives. Is there something at the new school that he would enjoy that they don't offer where he is now? Is it closer to home?

My DS will be moving too, 4th school in 4yrs, poor little chap. I'm selling it as, closer to home, so not as long in the car in the morning, he can play longer in after school club, and should be able to make some friends at new school that he can see out of school due to being closer to home.

Original poster

JimBobplusasprog · 22/05/2014 22:04

The new school has fantastic opportunities in music which is why he's going. He just seems stuck in a rut about it - we knew at the end of march he'd be going but 6 months is a long time for an 8yo. He says he can'tcoconcentrate in class as he has lots of thoughts in his head about the new school and he's just being generally unsettled behaviour-wise.

I'm glad we're not alone. Ds triggered the school move by asking if he could go to a school with this sort of musical facilities and he loved the assessments he did there. But I guess that's all back in feb and march so probably doesn't seem so real now.

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MotleyCroup · 23/05/2014 08:12

We moved ds a couple of months ago (from state to state) but we made our decision and moved him within a week. I don't think ds would have coped well knowing six months in advance.

Ds was fine until his last day, then it really hit him hard. Tbh it was quite a traumatic evening and I felt like the worst parent but he started his new school on the Thursday and came out full of smiles.

He still misses some of his old friends and his teacher but in the main he's settled well. He keeps asking if he can visit his old school, we may do one day in the future.

It's such a hard decision.

To the pp who moved their child four times (sorry can't remember your name) how did your dc cope? and how did you cope. I found this to be an extremely difficult decision but I know in my heart it's the best move.

MaryWestmacott · 23/05/2014 08:23

Can you assure him he'll still see his old friends? Is there anything like sports clubs or cubs where he'll see them out of school?

It also could be fear of the unknown, can you ask the school to put you in touch with any of the families of the boys who'll be in his class, arrange a play date or something like that so he'll not be walking into a class with no one he knows, who all know each other already.

hardestdecisionever · 23/05/2014 14:56

We moved our 8yo from state to private a couple of years ago. He wobbled a bit to start with and reluctantly went to the assessment days. When he got a place we madea really big deal of it as if it was a massive achievement. This made him feel really proud about himself for the move to start with.

We also had a friendship issue with him not wanting to leave friends. We sent him in with an address book for the last week to get all his friends numbers and addresses, lo and behold he has not kept in contact with any of them 2 years down the line and now no longer mentions them!

He also did some taster days at the new school at the end of the term to get him used to the new school journey and what it will be like when the new tem starts. This seemed to help settle some of the nerves.

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