When to speak to teacher or just moan on here!

[hooplahoop]

I am looking for a bit of advice. If a class teacher is doing something you don't agree with, how do you decide whether to broach it with them?

For example they're doing a play at school and my dd has been told she has not got a speaking part, but if girl x misbehaves she will get that part. To me thats wrong on many levels ( unfair on the girl who has the part, and i also worry she'll be cross with my dd if she loses her part to her) but what I'm wondering is if there's any value talking to the teacher? I'm sure people at my work my query my decisions/ approach but don't always tell me.

So how do you decide when to bring an issue up with a teacher? Thanks

You will come across as one of 'those' parents and I guarantee it will sound as if you want your DD to have a spoken part all along.

pick your battles in order to be taken seriously when something worth going in to discuss actually happens.

This, is not one of those moments. It sounds as if you are worrying a lot about things that may happen or not ( other girl getting cross etc) . Go in, if it actually does happen!
What year is your dd in?

Thanks, I needed that reality check. :)

My dd is in year 1. Honestly I really am not bothered about the speaking part, but I am annoyed at the teacher linking in a possibility for my dd on the basis of someone else misbehaving.

And I am interested in people's thoughts about when to raise an issue with a teacher and when to keep quiet?

Don't raise an issue with staff unless, it is serious or on-going.
Minor trite like the teacher casually saying if x arses about I'll give her part to you is really is not worth batting an eye over, it's not going to amke a sod of difference one way or another to your childs education.

If your daughter told you this, are you even positive it's accurate and she hasn't misunderstood somewhere along the line?

I would suspect the conversation was more along the lines of:
"X! If you don't stop being silly/messing around/doing that, then someone else will have your lines to say."
Possibly followed by something like:
"There's lots of people like hooplakid would like your lines..."

My general rule is if my DC are genuinely upset or worried about something and I think the teachers handled it badly or isn't aware of the situation I'll talk to the teacher but if it's just something that's annoyed me then I leave it.

Hi Hoopla:

I'm afraid this kind of thing is parr for the course - teachers are human, often tired/ stressed/ overworked and say the wrong thing. I'd take it as the teacher was trying to reassure your daughter that there was still a chance she might be in the play.

My rule of thumb is complain when:

children are in danger
the school is breaking the law
theft is occurring
the school are behaving in a discriminatory way

Don't complain - when

you personally don't like something your child has said about the teacher, but weren't actually there to witness it

you have only a few short weeks left until the end of the school year.

There are others but basically it's almost May half-term and then there's 6 weeks left in the year. It probably isn't worth it: it will only upset/ offend the teacher, may backfire on your child and won't change the fact what has been said has been said.

Often worth storing up in your memory issues like this and then using them in parent feedback.

So for example if the school asks you:

Are children at X primary treated well by staff?

You can reply - in my experience I believe this is generally the case, but at times I have been concerned by what my child has said. For example...

HTH

Thanks for the guidance re when to/ when not, very sensible advice!

There's always the option of saying to the teacher that your DD says X and you wanted to clarify the situation as it seemed unlikely, so your DD has probably misunderstood.