Private pre prep or state reception

[Thinkingtoread]

I know I'm about to start a thread again which couple of you may have answered before but this is what is on my mind and honestly very derailed in my thoughts....hope knowing your perspective be helpful in deciding for my DS.

My DS joins school September 14....the school we applied for as our first choice(outstanding), we are on a waiting list for that. Waiting nos 4. We got a school with satisfactory EYFS for our DS. The news hit both of us badly as this was definitely not we quite expected and it's just recently that we started looking for a private school for him.

We started looking for private schools and we have managed to get an offer from the school we liked for my DS and paying fees is not an issue.
It's just that I'm so done with weighing pros and cons and few people around me asking me to justify paying for a 4 year old and telling how rude and self catered are ppl who go the private route(No offence plz)
and we have also heard good and bad for state school also.

We have no clue about education in UK as both of us studied abroad and would like to give best start to the 2 DS we have and best start could well be a private or state......help me decide.....please.

I agree with Bronya, at a private school you are investing in an experience not an education.

My DS is aged 5. He is in the Reception class of a well regarded Pre-prep. DH and I are both clear that we are not paying for an education, we are paying for a privilege. If our financial circumstances were different, DS would be in a good state school topped up with tuition. Whether state or private, children still need parental input at home. As I see it, schools are a place to perform and by choosing private you're simply choosing a more upmarket stage as a place for your child to perform.

Well put broyna and puretree.

We didn't really chose a private pre prep, it was natural for us because it offers a much nicer and gentler environment for DS. We have friends with DS in good and outstanding state schools and the main difference I see is in the opportunities offered which are absent at the state (swimmin, piano and strings already in reception).

Academically in fact the state schools seems to be rewarding academic excellence more than the private school we are at.

I have moved dd1 in y4 to a selective prep and I don' t recognise some of the statements on here, just goes to show every school is different.

Dd1's school is very academic, subjects taught by specialist teachers in depth...maths and english streamed, massively oversubscibed (been to two assessment days and saw it with my own eyes).

It isn't just about sports and music - I know some parents may have the time to sit at home and teach extra maths, english, french, ict, geography, sciences x 3 but I didn't have the time or inclination.

If the prep school only offers a couple of extracurricular on top then it is not worth it..

Sovery,

I have no doubt that some prep schools are more rigorous academically than some state schools. It is blanket statements like 'oh, private schools work 1,2, 3 years ahead' that I dispute - because the question is whether, when you dig down to indiviual children, all children are being accelerated ahead of where they would be in a state school. The brightest children in a state school class may be working over 3 years ahead of their 'expected' level - as Mrz says, the 40+% of children who get Level 5 at the end of Year 6 are working a couple of years ahead, the small percentage who get level 6 are worjking 3 years ahead at least. The marginal difference made by being in a private school may well be quite small in 'level' terms - though I agree that the depth, breadth and 'normality' of working at a very high level may still create a better educational environment for some of those children.

For example, in my own case, in DS's first school he was an iolated able child, well above the norm in his classroom. Had we not been able to move, a selective private school with a higher percentage of children near his ability might well have been a positive move for him - not so that his levels were accelerated further, but because he would have benefitted socially and educationally fropm having peers of similar ability. As it happenedm, we moved and he (and DD, also able) thrived in a larger school which had a higher number of high ability children. He and DD, also able, have / will acquire a clutch of Level 6s at the end of Year 6 (DS has gone on to work at high level 7s in mid year 8 at a local comp), and so remaining in the non-selective state system has not prevented them from working at least 3 years ahead of 'national expectations'.

Sovery - most prep schools require topping up by parents if they are aiming for the top London day schools. Yes they are by and largely prepared by the prep school, but parents do need to put in the effort. This is the reality of how competitive entrance to the top senior schools is.

Not in london, so I guess don't have that issue..

Triplespin I agree with you and most of the above post. Parental input is crucial in both private and state but the amount of homework in pre prep school makes u to have educational input once kids are home.

I would also agree that it's all about experience that a child gets from the school and that's the reason we made our choice to send DS to a pre prep for reception. hope we are not doing anything out of the box as ppl give me a very strange look

I have 3DC all girls and for DD1 I opted for private school. DD1 got offered a place at 2nd choice outstanding state school, but I rejected it over the private school. The myth of why pay if you can get it for free is always there ( bar us all paying taxes so state is not free). But imho a good, satisfactory or outstanding state school still cannot compare to a brilliant private school. Does not have to be a selective private or top named school. The differences will be in the primary years, the level of detail and attention given to the children and the rounding of the individual child. State schools does well with the resources they have. Some are better resourced that many private schools, but I still prefer the smaller classes, empahais on the 'rounded' child the competive sports etc etc. Yes many state schools offer this, but they are few and far between, and in all honestly many are in wealthy catchments where parents will go private for secondary anyway. The ability to pay, provides you with choice, where you live, where and how you educate your child - and what you decided to do with your disposable income if its on education, that can never be a waste of money. Good luck.

are you in London? In my part of London it is much easier to get a place for your child at the state primary of your choice for Year 3 than reception - schools that are oversubscribed for Reception intake have spaces in classes for Y3 - because of parents moving out of London, or moving into the private sector.

So to reduce your stress levels it may well be worth going private and then applying for an in-year place for Year 3.

For what it's worth, DD is in a nursery attached to a pre-prep. We aren't taking up the place there as we can barely afford it (and a couple of other reasons too), and astonishingly she got a place at the state primary we preferred. One of the notable things about the private school was that the children (who were not selected, any child at the nursery automatically gets a place at the school) regularly left at the end of Year 2 with a reading age of 11. I asked a primary-school teacher friend if that was really such a big benefit and she categorically said 'yes'.

So if you are happy with the pre-prep and can afford it then go for it.

Soveryupset

if the prep school only offers a couple of extracurricular on top then it is not worth it..

Disagree Sovery, if it means after paying fees you are scrimping for basics then yes it not worth it. But to assert the above is wrong. EVEN if the school only offers a coupple of extracurricular on top of a state and it the right school for your DC it is so worth it. Do you know some states have extracurricular at an extra cost, long waiting list due to 90 students in a year and its open to all years, let every one join in regarless of ability or may not have a "qualified persons teaching the activity" or the DC can only join once in year 3 or 4. I could go on and on. I hate this statement. If you don't steal the money to send your child to private school it never a waste of money. The worth is down to the individual to decide. I value spending my money on education more than I value waitrose food, prefer spending on sale and h&m clothes over boden and ralph lauren clothes bought a cheap 4 bed garden flat rather than 800k house and spaced my kids rather than one after the other. Went back to uni at 25 when realised my first degree would not land me a well paid job. We all make life choices.. which are worth it.