Busybody sister in law!

[pomegranate1975]

I am getting fed of of my sister in law. She always want to find out about my son. E.g what level reading, what does he know, etc. Everytime i tell her, then two weeks later she will say her daughter knows it. It always happens and i am so over it. Its going on since he was 3 now he is 5. Now that he is in school she will say her daughter was on level 5 and ask what level is my son, and what level he is on every couple of months through my mother in law. She will get my mother in law to ask me and mother in law will pretend she is interested but has no idea about levels etc. So now that my son is on level 10, i know she will try to get her daughter to compete with that level and i know i will hear that soon that her daughter has beat him etc. She will get them to do a test and prove her daughter is fast but my son always beats her daughter. So how do i stop all this drama and not tell her anything about him without being rude?

Don't tell her anything. It's really that simple. What level is he on? I'm not sure. What's he doing in class? I don't know. Change subject. Why don't you know? I just don't.

She's welcome to ask questions, and you are welcome not to answer them.

Just be vague about what level he's on, or say outright "Gosh why does SIL need to be so competitive about it? Every time I tell you a level, it turns out DNiece is on that too, or above it. What's this obsession?"

Thank you for your replies. What is the point of asking me about my son? Why does she have to be competitive? Do you think she wants to show her daughter is better?

She is insecure, and feels that 'proving' her daughter is better than your son makes her a better parent. Some people are just like that - I'm guessing the children are similar ages? She may have started when they were babies - everybody knows that a baby who sits up early is proof positive that you're a good parent after all .... Or she might have just become insecure when they started preschool/school. Maybe she doesn't feel she was clever at school herself and compares herself with others, so feels a need to convince herself that her daughter isn't falling behind.

NatashaBee I'd start telling her that your DS is learning Latin, Mandarin, calculus etc.

Lol

pomegranate1975

I would say tell her he is on lower levels etc. than he really is, that way her DD might actually get to enjoy her childhood.

I like mumtrying's answer very much! :)

I've had this for 15 years from my SIL - her DD is 6 weeks older than mine.

It started with 'Oh doesn't she have a tooth yet? Mine does' progressed to 'Oh isn't she crawling yet? Mine is' on to 'Oh isn't she walking yet?' etc.

At the talking stage it was played down as DD was a little chatterbox by 18 months and DN was still babbling. It's still going on 15 years later.

The sad thing is that MIL joins in - no matter what I tell her about my DD she always come back with 'Oh well, DN has...blah...blah'

I'm just 'meh' about it now though as I know my DD is by far the best

I would say, "Oh I know, such a good job education isn't a first past the post system, isn't it?".

Or reply with "Isnt that nice" in the most condescending tone you can muster. And wonder off.

Tell her to cock off...oh I'm sorry I just noticed you didn't want to be rude

You could suffer from temporary amnesia every time she asks and then tell her all about what fun out of school activities you have planned with your Ds.

My DSIL used to be the same but I just ignored her every time she did, eventually she stopped speaking to me....BONUS!

Agree with the others. Just say, ooooh I can't remember, I'll have to ask at the next parents evening, isn't it interesting how different schools do different things at different times, and change the subject.

It sounds as if she's deeply insecure about her DC's progress and development. Really unhealthy and not something you need to get into.
Just say you've no idea of levels and avoid paying this too much attention as the importance is that your DC enjoys what he's reading.

Fob them both off.
Annoying!!!

I'd turn it around and say something along the line "Oh is SIL still worried how XXX is doing. She really needs to speak to XXX teacher and see if they have any concerns".

Reading me made me appreciate how lucky I am to have one super SIL (who is dead nice but we never talk school stuff) & one whose a freeloading pain but who also never asks me stuff about my kids.

Good luck, OP. What a pallava to find yourself in. I'd dumb my own kids sown, completely underplay it.