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Any teacher's willing to level this story?

10 replies

stardustsmum · 08/05/2014 14:38

I would add a photo to show the writing (joined up) but DD's name is throughout the story. Just interested to know if she's progressed from previous NC 2a, or if it's the same, as this was written at home?

Stardust’s Dinosaur Adventure

One late afternoon a little girl went to the natrel history museum. She was called Stardust and she had long brown silky hair. She had a lovely darck pink sparkerly dress.

Stardust’s mummy went with her because she didn’t have a daddy. When they got there they met a lady called Joan. Joan worked on the top floor of the museum. “You can go off and explore” said Stardust’s mummy.

Just then Stardust bumped into Andy from Andy’s Wild Adventures.

“Do you want me to show you around?” said Andy.
Stardust said “yes please.”
So Andy showed Stardust around. They saw a magic clock that could take them back in time!
“If you like I can take you back in time” said Andy.
“Yes yes yes yes! said Stardust excitedly.
So Andy said “take us to the time of Tyrannosaurus Rex!” (suck suck)
“Woooooooooooooooo”

The machine clicked and clacked scraped and banged!
BOOM They landed with a bump!
“Where are we?” said Stardust trembling.
“We’re in the land of Tyrannosaurus Rex!” said Andy. Stardust looked around and saw it was very dusty. Next she saw a big mountain of trees and quite near there was a bubbling volcano. Just then she smelled a horrible smell. It smelled of rotten eggs. Suddenly she heard big feet on the ground and saw lots of dinosaurs.

First they saw a Brontosaurus! He was very big and long he had a very, very, very long neck and tail. He was very fat too! Next they saw a stegosaurus he had plaits on his back. He was eating some dry yellow grass chomping it up. Just then she smelled a fishy smell it was coming from the air. She looked up and she saw a shiny pterosaurus with a wigly wagly fish in it’s mouth.

Suddenly they heard a gigantick roar! It was the T- rex stomping out of the wood. Stardust let out a frightened scream that was so loud it caused a stampeed! Andy and Stardust were very scaird. Just then they heard a big thump it was T. Rex! But Andy had a special bag with helpful things inside. Andy quickly looked in his bag and found a spade.
“Quick” said Stardust “The dinosaurs are coming!”
Andy dug a hole as fast as a cheeta. Then they climed into the hole to hide until the stamping of feet had
GONE… [This was written with the letters in descending size]

Looking in his bag Andy found a rope and he lassoed a rock. After they climbed out they ran to the clock and went back to the museum.
“Thank you so much Andy” said Stardust “good bye and see you soon!”
Stardust felt so happy as she hugged her mummy!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
stardustsmum · 08/05/2014 16:31

Just spotted the apostrophe ... oh the shame Blush

OP posts:
freetrait · 08/05/2014 18:10

Don't know, but she hasn't always got full stops and capital letters right. Maybe you need to do this for level 3? Are some spelling errors that maybe won't be there in level 3? Having said that there are some very good bits and I'm not a primary teacher, so not sure I'm being very helpful!

strawberryangel · 08/05/2014 18:17

That is easily a 3b, if not a 3a. I'm a secondary school English teacher.

Thetimes123 · 08/05/2014 19:02

I'd have thought level 3 but I know very little Smile

manicinsomniac · 08/05/2014 22:04

I'm in independent and we're only just moving over to levelling but I would be 99% sure that this is well beyond 2a. 3a at least I would think.

CocktailQueen · 08/05/2014 22:07

What a fabulous story! Well done your dd. I am no expert but think that should be a level 3.

simpson · 08/05/2014 22:10

Not a teacher but my DD is a 2A in literacy and that is much better than what she does.

pointythings · 08/05/2014 22:11

That's really excellent writing, there's no way that isn't a middle to high 3. She's using some complex sentences, using her VCOP skills really well, she's using shorter/longer sentences for effect - it's really, really good.

stardustsmum · 08/05/2014 23:15

Thank you all so much for your feedback, I'm feeling so chuffed for her as this is the best and longest thing she's ever written. She wrote a little plan and everything!

She finds the physical aspect of writing hard and I suspect she has poor muscle tone / weak core, which means at school she writes less as she's one of the slowest in her class. At home it's hard to get her to practise unless she feels it, iykwim ... she definately felt it for this!

OP posts:
strawberryangel · 11/05/2014 01:07

I'm a little late coming back to this...but my son has similar problems, and I teach children with poor fine motor skills. I recommend lots of exercise to strengthen her arm/wrist/shoulder/hand muscles.
My son now swims and plays tennis, and this has had a very positive effect. Lego and playdoh are great for strengthening the wrist and fingers and improving hand eye co-ordination.
Also, make writing/drawing as fun as possible. Allow her to experiment with a variety of writing tools...my son improved his writing after practicing on a magna doodle.
Finally- can she type? I'd allow her to type things out now and again, so she can get the practice at spelling/punctuation/grammar without the pressure of handwriting.
Hope this is useful, and well done to your DD.

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