Top tips for parents and pfb starting reception

[Aleinabottle]

Hello. Dd1 is starting reception class in September. Both dh and I feel a bit out of our depth facing this new phase in our lives and would like to ask if you mind sharing your top tips to make this a positive and successful experience.

Just to paint a background, dd1 is pretty confident and very sociable. Both dh and I are fairly bookish but ancient so out of school for decades , however no clue how to best support dd1 with her learning and development at this point.

I suffer from a bit of social anxiety but am otherwise fairly easy going . Anyway, it would be great to hear your top reception year/primary school tips so that our learning curve won't be too steep and painful.

and some for your thoughts!

Do you know any of the other families starting? Does the school or local church have a play group or toddler group you could attend? It's nice if they know someone when they start.

Other than that the practicalities of toileting and dressing and getting lunch (either packed or hot) are worth rehearsing, but my son is a worrier - not all kids would need this.

Try your best to make sure she can do the practical things - put her coat on and do/undo the fastenings. Take her jumper off (and decide for herself if she's too hot / cold). Open whatever you are going to give her for lunch if she is having packed lunches, or carry a tray and make choices if she's having school dinners. Things like putting her gloves into her coat pockets. Recognising her lunchbox / school bag / coat. Putting her shoes and socks on herself. Putting her pumps on the right feet. Go to the toilet by herself, wiping, flushing, washing hands, and making sure her clothes are all correct afterwards.
Being used to asking for help, helps. if you can engineer situations where her needs aren't anticipated by you.

Does she go to nursery or preschool at the moment? The most important skill for thriving in reception is probably being able to cope socially in a large group of children (i.e. without constant one-to-one adult attention), so nursery helps with that.

Otherwise, I'd second the practical things like being able to get dressed and undressed by herself for PE, coping with the toilet by herself, knowing what to expect in terms of packed lunch or school lunches. It's useful if they can at least recognise their own name written down by the time they start, because of labels on clothes and pegs.

As far as supporting learning goes, if she's used to sitting listening to stories, and can hold a pencil/crayon, that's probably all she needs to start with.

Buy the sticky name labels (Stikons?) As they stick to the care label and within 24h they are good to wash, but they are so easy to use compared to ironing or sewing!

Ds was my PFB (still is) and I found that (in his school at least) the teacher automatically presumed I knew the process with regards to Reading Diaries (what to write in it) snack money (not a clue, not explained) it's hard getting used to things like how much they've eaten for lunch, which you're automatically told at nursery, no feed back at old school when ds first started. It's a shock at first as in my case I was so used to his day being reported back to me in far greater detail than his first days in Reception but you do get used to it.

Everything else has been mentioned. Make sure zips can be done up easily, PE pumps and shoes changed easily.

Good to check the school website to see if they list the school menu (if that's the route you want to take) check to see what the menu is like. Think a lot of schools in our area are offering packed lunches too.

Yes Motley, I found that too. It got even worse in Y1 when you basically had to make an appointment to see the teacher ever. DS was expected to relay messages and hand over notes, which wasn't his strong point. And he left his hat and gloves at school constantly too.

It's a few years since my pfb started reception and I hadn't read any useful threads like this ( didn't start using mumsnet until he was KS2) so poor DS went off with no advice or practice re lunches, PE, easy on/off clothes. He managed absolutely fine. I think you need to relax and let your kid have their own time in school, you have to accept early on that you won't find out much about it, unless your pfb is much more communicative than mine. And that reception kids can get the wrong end of the stick frequently and tell you things about school that are completely wrong and should not be taken at face value. If your pfb had any trouble with dressing, particularly taking coats on and off, or with toile ting, you will save the teacher and class much trouble by concentrating on perfecting this prior to starting. Though my pfb pretended not to be able to zip his coat for the whole of the first term, until he got "homework' to practice it and I told the TA he was quite capable, the monkey liked her to do it for him!

Dont, this was the same in DS old school too.

Teacher wasn't there to speak to in the morning so anything I was unsure of got mulled over (by me) for a few weeks and then if I really felt the need I'd have to have a chat after school (on my non work days). Always felt intrusive into the teachers time though being after school.

In his new school the teachers are stood at the door every morning and are quite happy to answer any brief question.

OP. Be prepared for your DD first Christmas Nativity. DS old school told me there would be two performances, one in the day and one in the evening. The evening one ended at 7.30pm, which was much later than his (then) bedtime. I let the school know in plenty of time that he wouldn't be coming back for the late performance and even though he hadn't got a major/speaking part I'm pretty sure the school frowned upon those parents who didn't wish their Reception child to return to school for the evening performance. All schools work differently though so you may not have this decision to make. Just be prepared though (especially if your DD has bagged the role of Mary )

A lot of it depends on the child, DS didn't really get any preparation for school, he's year 5 and it was long before I'd found MN, he was absolutely fine and settled in really well, luckily hes very independent so could already do the practical bits.

With DD (reception) We got name labels with pictures on to help her identify her stuff, she could already read her own name but the pictures were easier to identify when they were upside down/when glanced at quickly and we practiced checking the name labels before putting jumpers and stuff on.

Practice asking to go to the loo, despite being dry and capable of going on her own long before starting school DD had a few accidents as she didn't want to interrupt the teacher to ask, also no matter how good she is at using the loo usually, put spare knickers and socks/tights in her bag just in case.

Get her used to remembering all her stuff but also develop a checklist for you for leaving the house and for checking shes got everything at the end of school, the number of times I've got half way down the road and had to run back for glasses/lunch/homework/jumpers etc. is ridiculous.

If DD has long hair it might be worth trying out some tied up hair styles and practicing them so you know how long they take and she can practice sitting still, DD always had beautiful pig tails before she started school but the morning rush is far easier now she's agreed to just have a plait.

Does your PFB go to preschool?

At DD's preschool they are practising putting up their hand to speak, being quiet while other children/adults are talking, not taking toys with them, and putting on their own coats/hats/wellies.

Oh yes, and we too are also working on breaking down her resistance to hair brushing and tying back!

Hi Aleinabottle:

My brother teachers 5th Grade (= Year 6 age group - but only 5th year of formal education) in US and his advice is always:

Think of primary school as a marathon not a 100m dash

and frankly it was the best piece of advice.

Frankly best to see Year R as a time for adjusting to the new environment and settling in to school life. It is about STARTING to learn the 3Rs but keep telling yourself ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY.

There will be those kids that pick up reading faster, or adding/ subtracting/ multiplying or can speak 3 languages or are Grade X in ballet or swimming. But that's life really - there's always someone who can do it better out there. We all have our different strengths/ weaknesses. Best not to see it as a competition - it will drive you mad - or you'll drive other parents mad.

So my advice with DD1 (currently Y6) soon to be moving on to senior school is this:

Be supportive (try to look on the bright side/ be positive)

Be constructive (if things aren't going well - don't expend energy getting upset/ think of solutions)

Be proactive - make the point of observing what the problems are/ where they might need support.

Be diplomatic. Learn from my mistakes - if you think your child should be doing more probably better to deal with it yourself rather than approach the school - buy the workbook/ play the educational video games/ visit the educational website/ etc... - just don't broadcast it.

Be involved with your child. It's not always easy when you're busy with work and if you've have had a long week it's tempting to put off reading the guided reading book with your child or just ignore it entirely - but I would advise making whatever school homework there is part of your routine and really use that time to get to appreciate what your child can and can't do and consider how to help them where you can. The internet is brilliant - and most good schools will have links to useful websites to help with various areas of the curriculum. Woodlands Junior School Resources is always a brilliant place to start: resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/ - more from Y1 onwards than yR.

whether you get involved with things at school - voluteering/ joining PTA/ running for governors/ etc... is entirely up to you. You seem to be suggesting you're relatively shy socially - if that is the case my advice to you is be friendly, say hello to people in the morning and try to learn names of your child's friends/ parents of friends - but don't feel obliged to do more than you are comfortable with. It's perfectly fine to just drop off and go.

Do your research: Mumsnet/ OFSTED/ new national curriculum programmes of study: www.gov.uk/government/collections/national-curriculum/ newspaper articles/ etc... - make a point of being broadly aware of what should notionally be happening for your child. I found talking to friends with similar aged children really useful - to gauge what was going well/ what wasn't going well for DD1. If the school has meetings for Year R (usually one early in the year to explain to parents what will be happening/ what type of phonics method will be taught/ etc....) - try and make a point of attending those & parent/ teacher meetings.

HTH

Don't worry about the mumsnet cliques that everyone gets wound up about. I've not seen it yet in 3dc, 4 schools and 10 years of schools including preschool.

Yes, people do prefer to speak to friends, but mostly people are happy to talk to others and will help you out. And if one person won't, fine, find someone who will-they'll be plenty in that category.

And don't worry about asking someone with an older child what things mean, or when things happen. They were asking someone else when their pfb started, and you'll be doing it for someone else when your second one comes along.

Ohh, many thanks for all the interesting and varied responses. I will read through them properly now and post in more detail later. Really helpful!

If you can find someone with a YR child and one in an older year, chat to them and get all the details that school thinks are obvious (expectations around bringing stuff in for junk modelling, whether girls ever wear jumpers or just cardigans etc). And they'll know about things like special t-shirts for sports day well in advance of the teacher telling you, too.

After Dd1 got used to the new routine at R and was a little less tired after school - roughly after the first half term - I started inviting people over for playdates. We did at least one per week for the remainder of the first term and I tried to make sure that she invites different kids. I thought it was a good way to get to know apt of new kids and figure out which ones are likely to become friends. I also tried to steer her somewhat towards the kids whose parents I seemed to click - just to make it a little easier for me too.

Also, academically, don't push. Mine was reluctant to read her school reading books initially and we didn't force her. Just did a couple of pages or read them to her.

There is so much they have to get used to in the first term! By second term DD1 was settled and things just clicked. Her reading took off and she just matured in so many ways.

Good luck!!!