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Please read my dad's poem for me.

8 replies

madasamarchhare · 01/05/2014 09:32

Very unusual for her to write a poem at home. It's a bit different to things I have seen her write at school. Please can you give me an idea of level too. Many thanks

I lie on the hard, stony wall
As I watch the doves fly above me
It is like I'm in heaven
The clock strikes ten
Everyone fleas to their homes
I can hear my bones crumble as the rain drops on me from above

I can hear the smoke rise from me to the dark, black sky
As my last remaining heartbeat dies
I watch my last tear trickle down my face
My body shivering at the thought

I can feel happy memories disappear
Like a heal of golden sand has been washed up on the shore
However, my enemies I hate are cheering and shouting hooray
As a single drop of red blood flows down my cheeks
It is time for me to pass away.

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madasamarchhare · 01/05/2014 09:32

Sorry this is not my dad's poem but dd's!!!

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AmberTheCat · 01/05/2014 09:39

Goodness, that's quite powerful. How old is your dd?

madasamarchhare · 01/05/2014 10:36

She is 9. Yr 5. That's why I decided to post. I she has realised she can write about anything and it's becoming more exciting for her to be able to write quite dramatically.

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Elibean · 01/05/2014 11:18

Well done your dd!

I remember writing deep, dramatic poems around the age of 10-11....and thoroughly enjoying it.

I have no idea how to level it, but tbh I wouldn't think in those terms - the creativity and expression are wonderful, and if she's enjoying it enough to write at home that's fantastic!

madasamarchhare · 01/05/2014 12:47

Thank you I thought her expressions and descriptions were wonderful I think she's experimenting more bravely with her writing now and she is enjoying the fact she can shock me as it's just not the sort of thing I'm used to seeing her write!

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PastSellByDate · 01/05/2014 12:54

Hi madasamarchhare

WOW! really wonderful.

My advice is go out and buy her the nicest pen and notebook you can afford and praise her to the skies.

Sure she may not go on to be the next Emily Dickinson but it strikes me her using language like this is worth encouraging.

HTH

pointythings · 01/05/2014 13:57

Your DD has an amazing talent - take PastSellBy's advice and do what you can to keep her writing, it would be a shame to lose such a gift.

Is she unhappy about anything?

madasamarchhare · 01/05/2014 18:10

Thank you all for your lovely messages. I have certainly praised her and she has a mountain of lovely notebooks and pens as iam as lured in by pAPerchase as she is!! I'm
Pretty sure she isn't worried about anything although I had considered that. No problems at school or home no changes to friends etc. I do think she is exploring different avenues of writing

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