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Original poster

Please tell me DS will just "get" reading

189 replies

PeterParkerSays · 03/04/2014 09:01

DS is in Reception and an August baby, so one of the youngest in the year.

I admit that this concern has been caused by the mother of DS' friend saying how she was surprised the her DS has just jumped up their reading scheme from level 9 to 16, having started on level 2 in September, but DS is just toddling along with level 2 books - he's only had books with words in since Christmas, has no interest in reading, says he doesn't know what words say, makes no attempt to read, and just doesn't "get it".

I think I naively thought that DS would jump at the chance to read because we've read to him loads from being a small baby, and he loves being read to, but he just has no interest in reading at all.

If you had a child who couldn't read when they started Reception, when did they start making notable progress? Also, if we try to push this with him, are we just going to put him off reading altogether? I don't know whether to just carry on with him as we are, and wait for it to click, or to try more intensively to get him to read.

I know that he's only 4, and won't get to 18 still on his level 2 books, but I'm just concerned that other children seem to be showing progress in their reading level and he's not.

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mrz · 03/04/2014 20:17

There's a Durham University research paper on Aims and Outcomes

Sulis · 03/04/2014 20:58

Two of my autonomously educated children learned to read before they were six. One learned at 8.5 and my fourth is about average now at age 5. My earliest reader occasionally reads for pleasure but not much. My later reader still prefers to be read to at age 9. Seems silly to get hung up on it bring sad to not having a childhood of reading. It's not such a big deal to some. There's lots of things my kids do get to do that I could say I feel sad that their poor schooled peers don't get...except I know that's ridiculous. The only real thing that it's sad for children to miss out on is lots and lots of parental love - the rest is icing and all children get different icing :)

No independent reading but joy in life and high srlf esteem.
Hardly any time with parents but see friends every day.
No holidays abroad but loads if camping trips.

Swings and roundabouts so long as the children are happy, thriving and loved imo Smile

Feenie · 03/04/2014 21:02

Can we be clear that I am talking about 16 years of non-reading?

mrz · 03/04/2014 21:12

I honestly don't know how a child can get to 16 and be a non reader - this dyslexia label Hmm

Sulis · 03/04/2014 21:17

Yes, I'm clear on that, Feenie. There are lots of things children miss out on and yet live very happy, rich, fulfilled childhoods. Reading is only one of them. You seem not to realise that reading is a tool, just one tool. It is necessary to be able to read at some point. ..or maybe not. Kenny Logan only learned to read when he got married and he'd lived with the shame of a lie his whole life and yet managed to be hugely successful. What is the ultimate childhood to you? To me it's joy, learning, love, strong self-esteem and a good sense of morals and ethics and kindness. To that end, does it matter how it's achieved? Does it matter if some things some other unrelated people think are important are missing? Does it matter if anything other than what I've mentioned is missing if the child becomes a happy adult who us able to fulfil her ambitions and contribute to her society?

Feenie · 03/04/2014 21:24

It's a life skill that a child of 16 was needlessly denied - as was Kenny Logan, it seems Hmm

Why have any 'shame' at all - why not just teach a child to read? Confused

mrz · 03/04/2014 21:24

How common do you think it is for HE children to reach the age of 16 unable to read at all Sulis? I would have thought highly unusual?

Feenie · 03/04/2014 21:25

And childhood to me is all these things - plus the gift if reading. A childhood with books to curl up with is a magical gift to give a child.

Sulis · 03/04/2014 21:54

Mrz - yes, unusual ime. I think that in the case we're discussing, a great many of those years were spent healing damage done in school. That healing time for children who've been in school is not so unusual, unfortunately. Children find it hard to believe they can be good at things they've been told they're bad at by those in authority to us and many are mocked for it by their peers. Labelling and self-fulfilling prophecy cause many problems for too many children and can delay reading further, which may well have been what happened in this situation.

Feenie - not as wonderful a gift as curling up on a parent's lap with a good book being read to you, voices and everything Smile

mrz · 03/04/2014 21:58

I didn't get the impression from bauhausfan's post that the child had ever attended school Sulis

columngollum · 03/04/2014 22:02

But life is a game of knowing the difference between what people say and what the truth of the matter is and parents are supposed to guide you in your early attempts to play that game.

If we believed everything people in authority told us we'd all be eating saturated fat (now) drinking lots of red wine and avoiding hospitals on weekends. (Oh, and practising archery.)

Feenie · 03/04/2014 22:03

Feenie - not as wonderful a gift as curling up on a parent's lap with a good book being read to you, voices and everything

Not at 16, Sulis. Not looking forward to stopping this soon with my 8 year old - but that wouldn't be so wonderful with a teenager.

Sulis · 03/04/2014 22:04

Mrz - if it's who I think it is then, yes, she started out in school.

Column - not sure what you're getting at. Do you understand much about the power of labels and the harm they can cause?

mrz · 03/04/2014 22:04

Being able to read doesn't prevent you curling up on a parents lap with a good book Sulis but it does mean you can curl up with a good friend when that parent isn't around.
My children are older but I still read aloud to them and they could both read before age 5

Sulis · 03/04/2014 22:06

Feenie - not that long ago it was absolutely the norm for whole families to gather round the fire while someone read aloud. It's a wonderful thing to happen that we are rarely lucky enough to have nowadays. At least non-readers are more likely tjan most to continue being read to for a bit longer than readers.

columngollum · 03/04/2014 22:08

Well, sulis, I don't know. But one of my problems is that I can't read labels. I have to open the tin and poke around inside. I don't have much sympathy for people who are fooled by them either. So, I don't know how to answer your question, really. Yes, I know a lot about them, or no, I don't know very much about them at all. Take your pick.

Feenie · 03/04/2014 22:10

It wasn't ever the norm to deny your children the right to proper reading instruction until the age of 16 though.

mrz · 03/04/2014 22:11

Sorry Sulis but I find the idea that being unable to read is in anyway positive ... as I say I read to my adult children and my son reads passages from his favourite books to me.
Being literate isn't a barrier to sharing a book with others but it does mean you can curl up alone in bed when everyone is asleep to finish that final chapter if you want.

Feenie · 03/04/2014 22:11

And I don't mean school - what about a tutor?

columngollum · 03/04/2014 22:19

If you're home edding a child you're not going to hire a tutor, are you? Doesn't that amount to I'm home edding my child, but I don't know why, because I have no idea what I'm doing.

mrz · 03/04/2014 22:20

Labelling and self-fulfilling prophecy cause many problems for too many children
labels like dyslexic for a child who hasn't been taught to read?

mrz · 03/04/2014 22:21

CG if you check google there are dozens (hundreds) of HE tutors

columngollum · 03/04/2014 22:23

Which do you want me to do, start laughing or use google, first?

mrz · 03/04/2014 22:24

appreciate the irony?

5feralloinfruits · 03/04/2014 22:26

mrz-What if she didnt want to though?If she didnt have the desire to read until 16 then what is the point?She did it in her own time,better to wait til they are ready than to force the issue and end up with a child that is able to read but doesnt enjoy it.