school referral to social service, possible actions?

[greg999]

Hi,

I would like to get advice of posible actions (my and scchool and social services), and would like to know your opinion about school doing regarding my son B.

My story:

I have received letter from social services:

Children’s Social Services received a referral from Head Teacher
of ... Primary School on the 12 February 2014 with concerns that B’s
development is being compromised by Ms S. behaviour.
After assessing the information and reviewing the chronological events from the referral
that have been happening for B over the last year or so, the school staff have been
the backbone in supporting that B’s needs are being met appropriately, they too
stepped in when S. needed support. However recent events have occurred which has
resulted in S.’s disengagement and has poor relationships with the school. S. will not allow SALT to share targets and information with the school which means the school cannot build upon the work that he is doing there despite the host of interventions B. is still not showing progress.
I have advised head teacher recommending that she refer this matter to Common
Assessment Framework ‘CAF’ for a Team around the Child Meeting, it does not quite
meet our threshold for an assessment but indeed should be assessed at a community
level.
This framework is intended to be used as a holistic assessment of need to support multi-
agency working. lt’s a four step process which allows practitioners to assess needs,
identify service delivery plans and check that the needs are being addressed as part of a
structured framework.
it is appropriate for B that you work with the school at a CAF level without social
services involvement, however in the event that you do not engage with the CAF
intervention our services will accept the referral and take further action.
END of the letter.

1. We are happy to allow SaLT to share targets and information with the school however on recent meeting S. said that she not like that school representative been personally present at meetings regarding B's Speech and Language Therapist.

1. We are not agree with statement that we or S. is disengagement with school as we attend all meetings and all parent evenings and we are following any reasonable suggestions school has to offer.

1. I can not understant how school can write that our son B. is still not showing progress? Despite all his hard work, all home work done, and going to writing club 3 days a week !

1. How school can write "the school staff have been the backbone in supporting that B’s needs are being met appropriately"?

I thought that I and my wife had been and still doing everything what we can to full fill B's needs. It is worrying me that school is calling themselves that they are backbone regarding to my sons needs!

1. Background: My wife S. used to work as a Teaching asistant in that school for about 1 year, after she get ill diagnosed with mild depresion, she have been off for about 2 - 3 months. She start taking medication, feel beter, she wanted come back to school, school was suportive, help her at begining, after couple months situation change, School start complain about her, she has overreacted couple times, after that she start decreasing dose of medication till she stopped taking medication, at about that time school start dismissal process, which finally finish in November last year.

I am not complainning about dismissal process, This was dispute beatween my wife and School, but I think you should know about that. My wife did not want me be involved in that process.

1. I am not sure how and if I should argue with school about statements about my wife and my son.

7. I dont know if i Should explain the isues to social services ,

We write to them short letter that we will cooperate within Common Assessment Framework and we are very happy to welcome social services at our doorstep.

Any suggestion will be appreciated

Greg

Greg,

Could the school have meant they were the backbone to his educational needs? His needs in learning written English etc?

I think we would all hope that if social services were involved, it would be to help you and your wife, in a positive way. I know some people do have bad experiences, and there are scare stories.

The problem is the relationship with the head teacher, as your son still has 4 years plus at the school.

I totally agree with taking someone along with you ie a minister. Or a friend.

It's hard when your wife is so emotionally involved and possibly angry.

I would be careful & try not to be to defensive.

It is possible that they want to access more support for your son-for his benefit.

My son has not been getting support any where else apart from school and SLT.

bishbashboosh you asking question which I would like to know answers too. Yes my wife is angry, I cant change that, specially that she is after depression I don't want press her to change her decisions.

"Uptheanty - It is possible that they want to access more support for your son-for his benefit."

Yes, agree with you, I thought like this, till we receive that letter and till I found so many confusing sentences about my wife and son.

That letter is just information from ss.
My questions are:

1. Should I contact ss and try to inform they about my point of view?
2. Should I contact school and try to find out what that statements mean and on what kind of evidence they are rise?

1. Or should I just wait and see what happens next: probably school will contact us regarding permission for CAF?

I just feel sad, it looks like school disengage by writing this letter not we as school accusing my wife.

Thank you very much for all of you for help,

Do you think you all, including your son, need a fresh start at a different school where there is no employment history between school and your wife.

^ This

I know it's not always easy to move schools - but it does sound like your wife's employment history is affecting/being carried over/ is being confused with your DS educations needs.

I'd be engaging with everyone and see what support is being offered but also contacting the local education authority and see what schools have places - and possibly getting on some waiting lists. I'd do this so I knew what all my options were going forward.

HobbetInTheHeadlights I will discuss that suggestion with my wife but I feel changing school will be the last think to do.

I would wait to be contacted, it is important that you take some time to reflect and think carefully.

Try not to allow your emotions to do the talking.

Is there anyone who holds a position of authority who you could confide in and ask for help? A first language English speaker who can attend the meeting with you?

You need an advocate, this will not appear defensive due to the language. It is important that you do not "miss" any details.

I would write a list of your questions before you attend the meeting & take it with you.

Within meetings it is easy to become overwhelmed and not address your main concerns.

Hi Greg
A CAF meeting should be a way of supporting you and your family and the school to help your son.

It sounds as if SS don't think they need to investigate, they are happy for it to be dealt with by a CAF, which is a good sign.

Can I suggest that you get a third party to be their as your advocate. Make sure it is someone who speaks both languages well.
Also ask for it to go on record that the school and your wife have had an employment dispute.

I would write down the points you disagree with, eg, you have never stopped the school from having access to his SALT targets. It is important to have theses things on record

steppemum you write that "Also ask for it to go on record..." also "It is important to have theses things on record"

Can you tell me who and when I should ask to record my statements,
At CAF meeting? At next school meeting? (at previous school meetings nobody record anything)

I feel that I don't have many "records"/arguments/facts to show our good will in case will be needed.

I will wait till, I'm assuming, school will contact us regarding CAF meeting.
I will feel definitely safer if that statements will be on record somewhere, This was my first question should I replay to that letter to SS with my point of view? I don't want looks like somebody who want argue with school or SS, but I want that my point of view is recorded somewhere. Letter from SS does not suggest that there is any option of appeal or review, is just simple info what happened.

Do you think you all, including your son, need a fresh start at a different school where there is no employment history between school and your wife.

I agree with this statement.

well, I would put it on paper, as a letter to ss, and keep a copy for yourself. When you go to the CAF meeting, take copies of the letter and ask for them to go in the file as evidence.

If you have a meeting at school, ask for minutes of the meeting to be taken, or after the meeting send an email to the school:

Thank you for the meeting we had yesterday (date) with Mrs x. Just to confirm that as a result of this meeting the school will do xxxxx and we will do yyyyy. We have agreed zzzzz. Or whatever.

Make a folder with all the letters/print off copies of the emails and keep it all together.

It is useful in these circumstances for all letters to be helpful and clear, avoid lots of emotional language and you want to sound reasonable and sensible. So:
Thank you for your letter of .... I am concerned that some of the things stated in the letter are not in agreement with our understanding of the situation.
We have always provided all the SALT'S reports for the school and have always supported the SALT. We have requested that we can meet with the SALT without the school rep present. Our reason for this is that my wife had an employment dispute with the school etc etc

Some good advice on here. All I can add is, that there seems to be a conflict of interest & the school is overlapping your wife's employment with your son's development. I think that's wrong & you & your wife need someone independent from the school to speak on your behalf.

employment history

...Do you think you all, including your son, need a fresh start at a different school where there is no employment history between school and your wife.

I don't think that this is best option, not for now, in the middle of a school term.
My son is happy to go to that school, he enjoy some activities, he does not showing that he is aware that something is happening around him.
Even during my wife's dismissal process School was very professional in that matter that it did not affect him.

My wife still feel connected to school, we think is good school.
I need to discus with my wife first, it is not easy is plenty emotions good and bad.
If my wife will be happy to do it then we will see.
First I want see how CAF meeting will help.

Thank you All for help and suggestions.

MyMILisfromHELL
You are actually right about that, I just realise, Is not Healthy situation when the person who was directly supervising my wife at work, now after her dismissal is providing/supervising direct help for my son, and is present in all meetings apart from parental evenings.
And probably that person is standing behind that letter.

Any way I hope that CAF meeting will normalize situation.

I think you need to let the CAF know that the school dismissed your wife and may have issues dealing with your child

Hi,
Today was a meeting at school.
Unfortunately we could not get to the point where we fill or tAlk about CAF .

My wife acted angrily and out of character,
Her illness-depression come back. I felt that before, but did not realise how big is it.

I booked visit to her GP, I Will go with her or alone for that appoinment. Need to try to convince her, but she is denying that illness return.

At school meeting we agree another date to meeting.
It is clear for me that school has reasons to be worried about my wife's behaviour.
Hopefully GP will give me some advice.
Is really hard, I don't want do nothing against my wife(I want and need to support her), behind her back.
Any contact with school without her approval will destroy trust she got with me.
Same time I need to maintain relationship with school, I feel I need explain to head teacher of the situation.

Is there anyone, other than you, that your wife could talk to? like a friend or family member who might be able to help her work out a calm way of dealing with the school? I know you're supporting her but often it's the people we love most who get the worst of the depression and anger and it's easier to talk to someone less involved in the whole situation. Hopefully then you can get a bit further with the next meeting.

Why is your wife preventing the SLT from sharing your son's targets and information with the school?

This is an extremely important aid to his education - often parents fight for SLT to be let into school. The SLT and the school need to be able to work together to support your son in the best way possible.

If your wife is now preventing that (whether it is because of an employment dispute, or her depression, or anything else) then she is the one who does not have your son's best interests at heart.

It sounds as though school have reluctantly requested external involvement (which will now be CAF) because they recognise that your son is not meeting the expected progress, and they believe it is because your wife is preventing the SLT from helping his teachers and the SEN team.

I see that you have recognised this now. Is it possible for you to take over all of the dealings with school and not have your wife present? I think you need to keep the two separate. You need to get your wife help for her anger and depression, but you (completely separately) need to ensure that her behaviour is not compromising your son's education.

Please ask to set up another meeting without your wife present. You need to separate this until she feels able to support her child's education. And at the moment, she can't.

Good luck with the gp. Hopefully your wife can get some support.

You mentioned upthread that one of the people involved in your DW's dismissal is also involved in the meetings about your DS. Would the school be willing to have someone else involved in the meetings about your DS? It might help to make it a little easier for your DW if she is having difficulty in separating the two issues.

I don't understand why the school claim that they are supporting B's needs appropriately whilst at the same time saying that he is making no progress. If they were meeting his needs, he would be making progress. I would suggest that that is a question you need to ask.

It does seem to me that you need to talk to the school on your own. I understand that your wife is against that, but can you point out that it is really so as to save her the major stress which she clearly feels when she has to deal with them?

Nenny, the basis of the school's referral is that the believe that they cannot support the child properly without input from his external therapist, the SLT. And the mother has refused to allow the school to have access to the external support.

For a child on school action plus, that requires external input to access their education, this is a serious matter. How can the school access the external support the child needs, if the mother is actively preventing it?

The school are trying to access the support that will enable the child to access his education.

Of course he isn't making progress. He requires the school and the SLT to be working together.

The mother is preventing her child from receiving the support he needs in context to make progress. And you are blaming the school for him not making progress?

Weird.

Looking to the future - the school are asking for TAC in order to gain access to the provision (already in place, but not accessible to the school because of the mother) - so that they are able to support the child better.

They can't tell if more support will be necessary (ie statementing, more EAL provision etc) because they have been unable to access the existing support at school action plus.

Neither the school nor the parents can apply for SA at this point, even though the child is not making progress, because the external support is not being allowed to actually support in the educational context. Without proof that the external support at SA+ is not enough! they can't move on.

The mother's illness is actively preventing anyone from working out whether SA+ is sufficient! or whether the child needs more help.

I'm all for school and LA bashing where appropriate, but in this context, the difficulty is very clearly the mother. Very sad. To go after the school in this instance would be a total waste of resource and energy, and not accomplish a single thing.

So what I mean is - they currently believe the provision is adequate - ie the SLT. But the school can't access it. So the boy can't make progress.

The provision is in place. Ie he has appropriate support.

But the mother stands between the therapy and the school.

So he is not making progress.

He has adequate provision. But the mother won't let it be used at school.

Impossible situation for the school, really. Hopefully the TAC will sort out some way that the school and SLT can work together for the benefit of the boy, and he starts to make progress. If he doesn't, then they will have further evidence to seek further provision/ SA etc.

Thank you all for info and suggestions,

I have been at SLT and requested that last and future reports be send to the school.
However I upkeep, my wife, decision that school rep will not be present, to show my wife I respect her will.
I will try to go only myself to next school meeting. I hope she will let me do it.

Her GP could not help me much, unless she will go herself. At the moment I feel she is getting better.

I find out my sons levels from October: reading 2c, writing 2c, maths 2b. He is in year 3.

Soon is going to be next assessments, so I can check the progress.

Thanks again for support in that difficult situation for me.