Am I overreacting?

[Peppapigisnotmyname]

Any advice welcome!

My dd is 5 and started reception in September 13. She is very confident and loud. A very bright girl. She attended preschool and nursery without any issues and is very eager to please.

Since she stared school, she has become increasingly withdrawn. She is also becoming quite anxious about making sure her uniform is correct and her friendships. She tells me that that she is often left out at playtime and cries. I haven't heard anything from the teacher other than she is getting pushed about in the playground resulting in a bumped head - three times last week. She is very worried about whether certain children will be away from school or if they will play with her etc. she also is starting to say she has tummy ache and is too poorly for school.

I know all of this isn't unusual, but it is for my dd. When she was in preschool she couldn't get through the door into preschool quick enough. At home she's quite happy, her normal self really, it's just her attitude towards school. The school she's at is a high achieving school but I hate seeing the change in her so I'm thinking of moving her. DH is against a move saying it'll settle etc but I know her and something's wrong. There is another school with a place but I also have my DS who has ASD and a statement in year 4. He's quite settled so I can't move him, especially as it's so close to secondary school for him.

In the meantime though dds confidence is ebbing away. Or is it just a stage?

Nope, not overreacting at all. School days are long enough. If your dd is unhappy - and the signs you describe are all key - then she is doing amazingly to keep on going in at all. But she needs help and this needs addressing.
Before you move schools, book a meeting with her teacher. Tell her exactly what you have written here. A good teacher will work with you to find out what is going on and to address the issues. I would be worried about her being unhappy - she shouldn't be given the fact that she has managed preschool and nursery so well.

I would also want clarification as to why she is bumping her head three times a week! It may be that she is dyspraxic, or being bullied, or just not adapting to the way children play at her new school, and not picking up on the signals, so getting knocked over. Either way, it's a pattern, not an occasional accident, and the teacher should be able to work out why it is happening so often.
Best of luck

Have you spoken to the teacher?

DD has been a bit like this having been very confident at playschool, I think it's the change from being a very loud confident child in a small playschool to being one of the smallest in a big school, where you are left to play in the playground rather than having an adult suggest games, plus she's tired and the excitement of Christmas is over and schools not some new exciting adventure anymore, I've been worried too but according to DD's teacher its quite normal.

Does she do any clubs? DD's confidence has shot up again having joined Rainbows and Ballet, I think she just needed a bit more structured fun stuff to help her make friends.

I would be worried about the bumped head and being knocked over though.

Are you saying you are planning to move her without having spoken to the teacher? If so I'd at least speak to them first and give them a chance to sort things out. It does sound like something is going on, but moving her does seem a bit of an over reaction if the teacher isn't aware of how your DD is feeling.

Bumped and pushed in the playground is part of being a kid. Accidents happen. But they dont tend to happen 3 times in a week! I would bet my mortgage money she is being bullied. You need to talk to her and the school about it asap.

no you are right - she is definitely unhappy and is giving signs to you that she needs help IMO.

I think you need a meeting with the teacher to discuss how she mixes with other children in the classroom and then at playtimes, they are different environments so she may be ok in class groups. DD2 has recently had issues with joining groups in the classroom, she is ok at playtime but in the classroom when they have choosing time she doesn't have the confidence to go and join a group of children, she is ok working in a group if the teacher puts her there with the others or if she is one of the initial ones sitting down.

Do you think the size of the playground and number of children is just too overwhelming? my daughters were at a preschool which only had 24 children in at any one time, their school has 120 children in one playground and then the older ones are in a different playground so whilst it is bigger than they had at preschool the children are all still around their age and it isn't too much. If they were in with 10/11 year olds as well then I think they would find it harder so I think the individual situation in the school could explain why she is reacting differently to at nursery

I also think it sounds like bullying. I'd start by talking to the class teacher but go to the head teacher if you don't get any results pretty quickly.

Thanks everyone. Didn't know if I was being over protective. Will speak to the teacher .... X