Teacher has a very negative at tide towards my DC

[Canthisonebeused]

Teacher identified an issue with my dd at parents evening last term. she was very unclear about what the actual issue was and used some very derogatory language to describe my dd to me. At the time water of a ducks back as she identified she would do some "coaching work" with dd.

end of term the teacher appeared to be treating my dd very unfairly a few minor things and one major issue which the teacher became very over invested in which affected dds friendships. Approached her about this and she was very rude and shorty with me. I approached the head who agreed and said she would discuss my and dds concerns with the teacher but she expressed she had agreed with me that it appeared the teacher had got over invested.

I asked about the coaching work and head didn't agree dd needed anything particular but always good to provide some extra support.

None of this coaching work has been done but what seems to be occurring is cycle of negativity, lots of quite heavy punishments for minor things that are usually reserved for big stuff. Very negative comments on homework and dd crying that the teacher hates her and expressing some incidents that dd has been blamed for or come off worse in that she has either not been involved in or has been involved equally with other kids.

I need to arrange a meeting with the teacher but want to ensure the head come. How best to tackle this?

Shouty with me not shorty.

Dd is 7 by the way

If you've already met the head regarding this, I'd just ask to meet them again, and explain that the situation hasn't improved, citing examples.

Give the head a deadline, say Easter, by which you want to see an improvement in your DD's experience of school, so they can't let this drift.

Hi Canthisone:

Hard to know what this is about although I respect that details may be too revealing - but let's say it's because your DD shouts out answers too much or something similar which basically doesn't give other people a fair chance to answer/ show what they know....

I think the first thing is to step back and see if the 'problem' has negative repurcusions for other children.

So in my example if your child doesn't wait her turn, always tries to give the answer and is too eager to show she knows it - it could be making less confident children feel even worse or put off shy children. Moreover it could be interfering with the teacher's opportunity to see how other children are doing/ understanding her lessons.

In this scenario - it's important you support the teacher and help your DC understand that everybody is as important as each other and deserves equal time/ attention from the teacher. With particularly bright children they can get into a loop of positive feedback - they feel good when they get things right, especially in front of other children (that sense of superiority perhaps?) so are overly eager to always try and get things right. This can spill over to basically demanding the teacher's constant attention and/or shouting over other children. It can seem like showing off and teacher's aren't always sympathetic - writing the child off as a smarty-pants rather than realising they're a bright kid but somehow they need constant reassurance that they're bright, publically.

If it is a case of the teacher is just being outright unfair to your child, undermining his/her confidence and self-belief - that is in fact getting perilously close to child abuse.

As Percyparker suggested - if this is the situation - raise your concerns with the head and ask her formally to outline how the school will remedy the situation and set some paramaters for when actions will be put in place and how improvements from your DDs perspective will be monitored.

If this school has more than one form - you could request that if any vacancies appear in other forms or exist at the present time, you'd like your DD to be transfered.

Nothing like that pats it was more around obstacles in her learning and progress which is probably down to motivation general satisfaction with school. However it was described by the teacher as more serious than needed. In my opinion down to expecting a bright child to reach prescribed targets! It was put to me by the teacher in a very derogatory way about my dds personality.

However I feel regardless of the issue even if it's disruptive or whatever which it isn't. The teacher highlited an issue and a possible solution but has not implemented and she seems to now be very down on my dd and I feel possibly picking on her and scapegoating her.

I'd ask for another teacher.

You appear to be describing bullying.

Sounds like another thread about a bolshy child who doesn't like to do what they're told. School has moments of jumping thru hoops, usually not too onerous.

Not the cace at all lljkk.

Bolshy child who doesn't like being told what to do? What?
Sounds like a teacher who doesn't like a child. Does happen. Have seen many threads about this.
Ds1 had it in year 2 . Funnily enough 5 other teachers have adored him and he has adored them.

I have arranged a meeting with head, teacher and myself next week. I think I will insist if things don't improve dd be moved classes. I have a note dd wrote on the bottom of a piece of paper about how she feels directly relayed to how teacher has treated her and I will take that in and show them. She often crystal and says the teacher hates her and everyone else is beginning to hate her too.

Grr must proof read... she often cries.

Can you be more specific? What exactly has the teacher said? Can you outline the conversations rather then give your general impression of them. Your posts are vague and it makes it difficult for me to decide. In my mind the main thing is that your DD is unhappy and this needs to be resolved.

Sometimes children will be more punished then others and it will be totally fair. For example if two children do the same naughty thing but one is a well behaved kid while the other is consistently very badly behaved and on a last warning, id expect the later to meet more serious discipline.

negative

This thread, that I also posted on, was good, had some helpful advice.

Atleast it is supportive about recognising that some teachers don't like some children. Hardly surprising. We can't all like everyone. Rather than lljkk's view.

I am very impressed that any of you can tell what OP is talking about.

FWIW I clearly remember being relentlessly picked on at age 6 by a teacher and not having the faintest idea why! My mum had to go to the school. I was an extremely well behaved child.

I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and the head together and pin down exactly what the problem is and how they propose to overcome it.

Sounds like just a case of child and teacher not clicking.

I've taught many classes over the years, and every year there are the odd few I just don't click with, for various reasons.

HOWEVER, I would NEVER let that interfere with my interactions with the child, or the parent. It's very unprofessional.

Canthisonebeused Fri 17-Jan-14 17:17:34
"Nothing like that pats it was more around obstacles in her learning and progress which is probably down to motivation"

Does this mean she is not doing the work as she is told? Sitting around day-dreaming? (just asking because I had one of them...)

Please could you give a few more details about exactly what the problem is. What does the teacher feel your dd is or isn't doing? What sort of "punishments" is she giving your dd? What was the language she used to describe your dd that you object to?