Primary school bending the rules?

[mumtobealloveragain]

I posted here before about my slightly strange circumstances. In short.. My children spend a week with me then a week with their father, shared residency. I discovered last term they were late 2-3 days a week every week they were with him (never late with me). It's affecting one of our children who is anxious about being late, hates people "staring" at him, worries about it and it's become and issue when he is here with me too despite us never being late.

The Educational Welfare Officer noticed the lateness and became involved with the school and asked them to try and rectify it. The school spoke with my ex, have sent him two letters as well. My solicitor has said if it doesn't improve that I have a good chance of getting a Court to agree that the children need to be with me on school days to ensure their educational and emotional needs are met, but I need the school attendance reports showing the regular lateness to show to a a court.

I've had a meeting with the school last week who has said the lateness has greatly improved and it's now only once a week ish that he's late and that's shown on the lateness/Attendance records.

The thing is, I know it's not correct. My step children go to the same school and I'm there most days. I see him taking the children in late most days, yet he's not getting a late mark! The school policy is children arrive 8:50-9am. After 9am is marked as late. Yet I'm seeing him walking down the road at 9am or going in the school gates at 9:05 and it takes a few minutes to get round to their classrooms, sort bags and coats etc.

I was straight with the head and explained this. She said the teacher starts the register "soon after" 9am but it means that latecomers between 9-9:10 are marked in otherwise there would be lots of late marks and that looks bad on the school. She said the EWO reviews their books regularly. She said they lock the doors (no gate as such) from 0905 onwards but there are 4 doors so parents can usually get in one of them up until about 0910-0915 as it takes time to lock them all (rubbish!)

I'm so annoyed. It seems that the lateness is being "fudged" so make the school look good to the EWO's. What's the point of that. It totally ruins my point for Court too. I've this morning seen my son being dragged down the road moaned at and crying cause my ex couldn't get his arse out of bed on time. He walked past me gone 0905 so they wouldn't get into class til 0910 so ten mins late but his attendance report will not show a lateness I bet!

Shall I tell the EWO? Will they even care? Does lateness/attendance get taken into consideration for Ofsted reports etc?

I'm just in this odd position of needing the school to be strict with the rules to get my children late marks to get a court to agree to me being allowed to take them in so they aren't late.

I think I will speak to Ofsted and EWO's office next week.

I would be amazed if a court would return the children to you during the week on the basis of being 5 minutes late into school for 1 term. I'm also surprised that a solicitor has suggested this might be so.
You have an unusual situation in that you are actually at the school when your children are being dropped off. Most people wouldn't be. If you aren't careful this is likely to become a big issue to you but the courts need much bigger things than this to change a shared care order. As a lone parent myself I really feel for you, my ds has had years of ex 'doing it his way in his time' and a court wouldn't entertain changing the court order.
If the school are concerned then they need to ask for another meeting with him and clearly set out their expectations in relation to their lateness policy, but they wouldn't normally get involved in writing letters to courts etc unless it was more serious, such as the children not attending school at all during his time..
How long has the 50/50 order been in place?

Not a lawyer or a teacher but wouldn't the EWO take all the sanctions with the parent first (fines, home visits etc) before any court order got changed?

If the school aren't seeing their time of arrival as a problem, then it's not for your to decide it is a problem, is it?

It sounds like you want your ex to be caught on a technicality.

In our school, the bell goes at 8.50 and we lead the children into class and begin the register straightaway. We have to close the classroom door and, if a child appears at the window after that, we are not allowed to let them in but wave them round to the office to be signed in there. When they then appear at the inside door, we have to check they have been via the office. We are not allowed to mark them on our registers "if we haven't got to their name yet," (and technically, that would discriminate against people at the beginning of the register).

Sounds like their systems are a little sloppy, to be honest. I bet if Ofsted were in, those doors/gates would be locked much more smartly.

Just read your latest post - so you could quite easily have a child in school who is not registered to be there, if he has arrived late, walked by the office ladies "whilst they're busy" and arrives in class after the register has closed and the teacher has assumed the office have him on file.
So, worst case scenario: there's a fire, he's in the loo, and no one's looking for him because he's not marked as being in. Sounds far-fetched, but that' why we do registers in the first place.

As I said, this school is sloppy. They'd be crucified by Ofsted.

It reads like OP only cares because she wants to hurt her ex by getting the children to live with her more of the time.

If think OP to be honest you are clutching at straws on lateness TBH. Seems the school are following the guidlines with late marks. I think it would be low blow if you use this to get what ever it is you want.

Lkk. Nope. I was the one who agreed to 50/50 residency. I don't want to hurt by ex I want him to take being a parent seriously and get our children to school on time!

I agree with 50/50 residency but not that my kids are late for school when I'm there anyway! Having them with me all school days is a final resort if he won't sort it out. It's affecting my child emotionally and he hates being late for school everyday/the very last one into the classroom.

OP, I would be surprised if this was enough to change a court order - did your solicitor cite any examples?

I realise you shouldn't have to, but could you pick your kids up from your ex's place on the way to school?

That sounds like a good solution, TheDoctrineOf2014.

Was your ex poor at time keeping before you split, mumtobealloveragain?

Some people just don't see the importance of it. I was talking to one person, who said that their friend couldn't work out why she was late so often, but after talking it through, realised that she only considered herself late once the time she was meant to be somewhere had passed. So if school started at 9.00am, she would see herself as 'late' at 9.00am. Regardless of whether it took 15 minutes to drive there and 10 minutes to park/walk to the school from the car park. So she would be 25 minutes late because the journey time was not even on her radar!

I see myself as 'late' for the school run if I am leaving at a time which makes it tricky to get parked. I see myself as 'late' if I leave at 08.40, when the doors open at 08.50 and class starts at 09.00am. I live 1½ miles away from the school and it takes 3 minutes to get there!

Thedoctrine. I have offered and even insisted I collect them from his house in the mornings but he point blank refuses. He says he doesn't need any help looking after his kids! (To which I said so please get them to school on time then).