My son does not get invited to birthday parties. Should I invite the whole class to his?

[littlecrystal]

My son is nearly 6 and has some behavioral issues (may have SEN but not clear yet). He can get physical and hurt others on occasions. He may be labelled as the naughty one by other kids/parents, though I do not know exactly as I work and do not do drop offs/pick ups myself.

We have not had a proper birthday for him yet, except from small family gatherings. This time he would like a proper birthday party. It would be classmates only. I am thinking it would be nice to invite the whole class in order to break ice, though we do not get any invites ourselves, and I can possibly understand why. I am terrified that no one will come. I do not want my boy to be disappointed.
Stupid as it sounds, by inviting the whole class I kind of want to prove to those parents that I am perfectly normal and my son’s issues are not because of my poor parenting.

I could also invite not the whole class but only several children (the names he mentions on occasion), but on the whole he does not have close friends and I am afraid that no one will come. I also do not have a clear criteria for selection of those few names.

Would be easier (less painful) to brush off and go to Legoland instead, so we forget the whole party thing and leave the parties for when he is older and able to select his friends clearly?

Any advice here, please?

can you check with some mothers on whether they would bring their kids to your son's party? Can you arrange one but not really tell him or make sure he will have some kids like relatives or friends kids?

I have a similar issue as my son (3.5) desperately wants a party and I don't know what to do. as he goes to a nursery close to work and very far from house I don't think that anyone will come over if we do a party. He has never gone to playdates or parties or anything like this i believe due to this reason. As we moved very recently we don' t have any local friends with kids and no relatives in the country :(.

I really do feel for you as he wants so much a party and he discuss about this all the time!

In your shoes I would do the kind of party every child would Love coming to, (ie what is popular in your sons school) like bowling, tag laser, etc. I would invite all of them. But at this age parents are not likely to hang around, so you would not be able to prove much to the parents, but the kids would hopefully have a fantastic time!

Yes I think inviting them all is a good idea that way you have a good chance that a decent number will come and it will help you get to know some parents. I do think at this age a lot of party invites are influenced by who the parents chat to not just who the kids friends are so getting to know a few people will help.

Who does the drop off? Do they have parents they talk to at the gates who they could maybe broach the subject with?

I would go for an all class party, but expect some drop outs as not all children can come. I did an all class party and was surprised at how many children came who my child wasn't that friendly with and how some of his closer friends didn't come (albeit because they were sick).

So be prepared for some not to come but don't take it personally.

Most parents are so relieved at getting some free time at the weekend they're all to happy to send them to a party!

so the parents don't stay with their kids in that age (6)? from which age is this happening?

Thanks! I am thinking, if I organize party at home and hire an entertainer, and only a small number show ups, I will be least embarrassed since it will least obvious how many kids did not show up.
If I hire a hall and only 5 kids out of 30 show up that would be very, very embarrasing.

Bowling is a good idea though expensive, however it is a couple of miles away from us so may put of some parents.

I am thinking a magician, an all-sports entertainer, go-kart (needs a separate venue) or bowling.

DS does not have an idea of what he wants.

DS is dropped off by a childminder who is always in a rush.
Just remembered that we are likely to be moving / just have moved around that time, so our own house is not likely to be an option.
Oh dear…

I worried about this. We had hired a hall and about half of the kids declined (it was half term weekend so I was expecting this) I invited family and some other (non school) friends children so it didn't look too empty. Can you invite any other people.

Or if you did only get five coming switch it to your house?

WipsGlitter I could probably switch to home if numbers are low (and swallow the cost of hall hire), but there will be address on the invitation so the location change may create some questions.

Suspecting low numbers perhaps it won't be too expensive just to book bowling...

I'd just text round and say there was a change of plan / double booking etc etc.

I'm sure your son and his class would love a big party. I think at least half the parents will stay to chat to each other and enjoy watching their children have fun. Most parents stay for the parties at my Year One child's school.