Do I have a problem, or do others just need to keep their opinions to themselves

[manchestermummy]

DD1 attends a local primary school. I've posted before about various concerns but things seemed to have settled and I think a lot of issues with hindsight were down to DD1 being a little over sensitive. She seems to be doing really well, and I'm happy with the approach to reading etc. Yes, there are things I am not happy with but this tends to be in terms of communication with parents.

The school has seen some turmoil over the past fews years. Several changes in head, average but not exactly brilliant Ofsteds, that sort of thing. About 10 years ago the school had a completely awful Ofsted and that has coloured local opinion of the school - you know how people tend to take the reports as gospel truth. There's a new head in place, and I didn't recognise the school from its last report.

I am absolutely sick of people telling me that the school 'isn't as good as it used to be', like I am damaging my DD by sending her there. There is one parent at the school who seems to really hate the place and I have come close on occasion to telling him to just sod off to a different school.

I like to think that I am quite an instictive person, and that my instincts are usually right, so it is likely that my instinct that this is really not a terrible school is right too in this case? Same goes for one of the high schools this primary feeds into: a few poor Ofsteds years back and despite a really good one last year, people are often telling me how awfil it is and under no circumstances would they ever send their children there.

Why do people do this?!

Some people just can't accept schools change, it annoys the hell out of me! If they've heard of the school from 1 bad report/1 bad experience then in their minds it will always be bad, no matter how much it improves.

It works the opposite way too, MIL was convinced DD should go to a particular school because it was good 25 years ago when SIL was there and she just couldn't understand that its crap now.

Thank you for this extremely sensible reply.

I just feel like I am being judged for sending my child to this school. I do have some concerns about how they deal with able children, but so far I am happy at how aspects of my daughter's particular strengths are being handled (this is not me thinking my daughter is amazing by the way! She is genuinely advanced in some areas).

Would I be completely irrational to suggest that some parents are not happy as they can't come to terms with the fact their children are not as ahead as they thought?

There's a school in my catchment like this. It used to have a bad reputation, but although it has been turned around no-one will touch it with a bargepole. Why? No idea.
I think some people just like to think they are better-informed than others and can't help putting their twopennorth in. Also, because the idea of patental choice is still a (relatively) new thing, people like to look well-informed on the matter (even if they're not). As to your dc being "damaged" by your choice of school, I'd just ignore that. The sort of people who would make that sort of comment probably have very littke understanding of the school system anyway.

You've done your homework, you know what you're looking for in a school. Study the Ofsteds, but look at the school more holistically too. And trust your instincts.

As for the communication being poor, how much of a problem is this? My dc went to a primary like this, but it wasn't a reflection on the quality of the school.

I'm sure you've made the right choice for your dc.

The communication thing seems minor, but it's little things like not telling us exactly when the Christmas performance is until days before. It was only luck that there was a performance on my day off work, otherwise I'd have struggled to book the time off. And last week I had a voicemail message telling me to ring urgently - nothing further. Turned out DD was feeling a bit off-colour and her teacher was concerned: I had visions of her having been blue-lighted to hospital or something.

manchester I have a friend who regularly slates off her dd's (very well regarded) primary because she thinks the child should be doing better. The dd hss moved to secondary, has dropped a set, and guess what? She's blaming the (very well-regarded) school. The teachers are too young, the syllabus is too narrow, the subjects are irrelevant..the list goes on.

Some people are like that. Don't let it bother you, though!

Sounds just like near me too. One primary had a bit of an iffy ofsted a couple of years ago and there was parents panicking and moving house and all sorts. I visited it, it has a new head and I thought it was just lovely. I have it down as one of my choices. The catchment has less 'pushy parents' than the local outstanding schools and less affluent demographics, so more challenges.; its a shame that parents who misn don't try and invest time in helping the new head get itto outstanding instead of trying to move !!!

Sorry I meant its a shame that parents didnt moan less and invest time in helping the school / head and change the image instead !

itsahen I agree. I have another friend whose gdd lives across the road from an "iffy" school. Couldn't be more convenient. Does she go there? No. Why? Because she thinks her gd is too good for it, putting it bluntly.

It's not just schools which suffer from that phenomenon; it's everything. Reputation means that people don't have to bother finding out what the facts are, they can just repeat what they've heard. To be fair to people if they had to process everything from scratch life would be spent mostly analysing. That's why people read reviews.