What should DD be able to do when she starts school in September?

[Coveredinweetabix]

Its dawned on me that my DD is starting school this year. She's my first DC so I have no idea what is expected of them when they turn up. She is at nursery three days a week and I know that in the summer term they spend a lot of time on school readiness but I thought it would be helpful to know what the essentials are now so I can practice certain things with her if I think she's miles off achieving it by herself.
The things I can think of are:

• going to the toilet, wiping etc by herself. All fine. However, do they have to wait until break times in reception or can then go whenever they need?
• recognising her name. She can recognise both her full first name and the abbreviation. I'm not sure she can recognise her surname. She can write the abbreviation without help and most of the longer version but I don't think she's ever attempted to write her surname
• getting dressed/undressed - she's suddenly realised how to do buttons so I think we're fine on that. She's pretty good at hanging her up coat etc
• looking for things - an area we need to work on as otherwise I'll be foreever going in to look for her cardigan or something
• reading/writing/maths - a couple of my friends seem to have child geniuses who can already read (in one case) or read, write and do basic arithmetic (another case). I think DD can recognise the numbers 1 - 12, knows the phonic sound for most letters but not their name, can write simple numbers and letters without much help (for example, 1, L, T, F) but wouldn't know where to start with something like a 2 or K.

So which of the above do I need to work on with her and which things have I not even thought of? If you have any creative ways of teaching any of the essential skills to her, please also tell me that!

Thanks

I reckon if she can go to the loo, wash her hands, do up buttons, put on a coat and zip it up, she'll be away :)

Also useful: being able to make a decision (eg about what to eat if she is having school dinners) and communicate this clearly to her teacher (ie not stand shifting from foot to foot whispering into her hands!)

Don't worry about reading/writing/maths - that's what we teachers are here for.

That's a very good point about communicating clearly. She is very timid and will mutter whilst looking away when speaking to an adult she doesn't know. I guess the only advantage of the school not providing lunch is that DD won't be stuck deciding what she wants and holding up the queue each day. Or having to worry about how to balance a tray.
Actually, I worry in general about how she is going to manage in a group of 30 given how timid she is.

I'm relieved to to know that I can leave the academic side of stuff to the teachers as I've got no idea how to go about any of that and don't want to get it wrong.

My list was go to toilet and wipe by her clothes, put on coat and shoes, sit quietly on carpet, play nicely with other children and wait to take a turn.
My DD went into a class with 'gifted' children who could all read before reception, she could write her name that was it and at the first parents meeting the teacher described her as being one of the best prepared children she had meet for reception.

Agree that you really don't need to worry about the academic stuff - that's what school is for!

Recognising first name is useful. Being able to use the toilet independently, dress and undress, put shoes on, sit quietly and concentrate for short periods (eg. listen to the teacher for 5-10 minutes on the carpet) follow instructions - much more important.

In the first term of Reception DS1's PE lessons seemed to consist mostly of getting into and out of PE kit. We had practised at home but the excitement of doing so with other children seems to have been overwhelming.

We were asked to ensure our DC knew how to ask for things, and that it was ok to ask and to say they didn't know.

Self care -

Get dressed and undressed
Go to the toilet
Managed to open packed lunch containers or cut food if school dinners

Social skills -

Have some experience of being seperated from main carer
Some basic sharing and turn taking skills
Some experience of other children

I'd add to make sure she can use/hold a pencil, paintbrush and crayons.

Fasten a coat.
Otherwise, Ds1, who has done hos first term at reception can only do a little bit more than your DD can at the moment.
Sounds like she'll be fine. Agree with everything above - its the social and self care bits that are the most important.

Definitely fasten coat and put on shoes. Recognise name and labelled items and get dressed and undressed including being able to turn clothes the right way round.

They don't have to be perfect at doing it all but the teachers and teaching assistants don't have time to dress 30 children. We bought name labels from easy2name with a picture on as well as her name so it was easier for her to recognise which items were hers.

Being able to use a pair of scissors is helpful.

Make sure every item of clothing is named, that way you'll get lost cardies back easily!

The children will all be taught to be more self sufficient and all be asked to go to the toilet at regular intervals. She should be able to ask to go whenever she wants (within reason).

She will have lots of new rules to learn but the whole class will be in the same position.

I wouldn't worry about the academic stuff but a good tip would be to play games like snakes and ladders to help with counting, looking at numbers on people's houses as you're walking along.

Some children struggle for a long time with the idea that a number represents a number of things so you could work on that (counting sweets/blocks and sharing them out for example).

She sounds well prepared. My DD1 also starts in September and while I think she is prepared enough academically (recognising name, numbers, knowing surname etc) she cannot yet dress herself (apart from coat and shoes), so that is the next thing I need to do with her before September. You say the school won't be providing her lunch, is this a state school? Because I thought that from September all schools needed to provide lunches for free for infant classes (R, Y1 and Y2). Maybe you can opt out of school provided meals, but she may feel left out if everyone else if having school dinner and she is having packed lunch.

She sounds great. Can I have her in my class please?

Agree with all the above, especially sitting down for 5-10 mins and either listening to the teacher or doing a 'task' on her own. Also, if you say she is timid, try to encourage her to answer questions or make suggestions at home in response to things that you or other family members ask - this might give her a fighting chance of gaining the courage to speak up in 'carpet time' at school (or at least responding to the teacher if she asks your daughter a question in front of other children.

And as important as all the above: DON'T let DD pick up that you are nervous about her starting school: tell her that you know she will do brilliantly, but have an occasional little chat about how everyone is unsure about starting school ( giving her the opportunity to voice any concerns she might have)

I am so glad that I asked this question as you are raising so many things I hadn't even thought of. If her clothes are inside out (for example, when changing for gymnastics), I always tell her to bring them to me to turn the right way around but she'll have to do that herself at school. That can start from tomorrow!
The thing I am most concerned about is how shy she is. We had several play dates over the holidays at our house and I was amazed when these little girls & boys came bouncing up to me to ask for a drink or told me that they didn't like the meal I'd given them or that they wanted me to do A, B or C. They weren't rude. Just more authorative than DD who would never ask another adult for something and would always wait until offered - but if not offered would simply do without even if she's known them since birth. And at birthday parties recently I've noticed that whilst she may be one of the first to gather around the person handing out party bags or the person making balloon models or something, she is often almost the last to get one as she just doesn't assert herself enough. Any tips for how to make her pushier? And better at asking?

What can I do to recreate carpet time type stuff? She is quite good at playing by herself but only if its something she's chosen to do.
mango - none of the schools in the area appear to provide school meals. This surprised me and no one has been able to tell me what children entitled to FSMs do (we're not so it was just curiousity which made me ask as I'd presumed all schools offered lunch as an option). When we looked around DD's primary school to be, I asked about the initiative but the person showing us around hadn't heard about it so couldn't tell us. I'm hoping that some sort of meals on wheels thing is set up as I think its really important to have a hot meal in the middle of the day, especially as she'll be going to after school club two or three times a week and they only offer cold food. I'm also slightly concerned about the sort of food that might be included in a free packed lunch which is going to be mass produced. But that's a different concern.

By the way, I've started a parallel thread in behaviour & development asking for any tips in how to make DD more assertive. I do worry that, in a sea of 30 children, she will get overlooked. She doesn't demand attention and yet nor does she misbehave so doesn't get attention through that. Instead, she just quietly gets on with stuff as she has been asked.. but obviously that means she won't get pushed to do any better than she can be bothered to do.

For recreating circle time, does your library do a storytelling session?

I made sure mine could change from school uniform into PE kit and vice versa - making sure they put the school uniform into the PE bag so it didn't get lost.
Taking shoes/coats on and off - and making sure they stuffed hats and gloves into the arms so they didn't get lost.

YY to getting dressed and undressed and dealing with the loo. IME most FS2 classes let them go as and when they need to.

Also you need to make sure she can stand quietly in a line (pre-school should do this) and understands about listening to the teacher and others, putting her hand up etc. To help with this, does she sit still while you read a story? Do you have other DC so more of you could sit and listen? YY to storytime at library.

Also most important lunch - if she is having packed lunch, can she open all the bits etc; if school lunch, can she use a knife and fork (you'd be surprised ).

Agree don't worry re reading and writing, she'll learn that from teachers

does she go to nursery / preschool - using the free sessions each week?
if not, get her started
if so, its a straight line carry on from preschool

Yes, she's been at nursery 3 days a week for three years so is used to being in a group of people, lining up etc. They all have to sit on the carpet for a story at the end of the day so that should be fine too.

That's a very good point about gathering your own clothes as you take them off. She does tend to scatter them as she goes which won't work!

As a TA in a reception class I would say that the self help skills are the most useful - not taking off her coat and dumping it on the floor or expecting there always to be someone else making sure her stuff is where it should be.

Another big skill we like is being able to ask for help when they need it - we try to encourage them to ask for help rather than telling us the problem - ie we want them to say "Please could you zip up my coat" rather than "I can't do my coat"

As for changing for PE to begin with the class teacher gives very specific instructions ie "Take off your shoes and put them under your chair" then "Take off your skirt or trousers and hang them on the back of your chair"

My August born dc3 is starting in sept

He can't put shoes on
Can't do coat up
Can't wipe his own backside
Just starting to use knife and fork
Barely interested did in ' mark making'

They'll love him, wont they

On the plus side, he's v sociable, happy and plays with others beautifully. And has a gob on him. So not all bad

In fact dressing isn't great full stop, really

Hmm, might need to start encouraging him a bit but he's my baby

with regards to the lunches thing - I think a lot of schools are very up in the air over it. I have 2 daughters already at school who will both be in KS1 in september but the school haven't given any details about what will be offered or how on earth they will fit them all in the hall (packed lunches eat in the classrooms on the floor at the moment)

The whole getting changed for PE thing is a cause of stress for some children. DD2 can dress herself fine but she finds it hard to take her pinafore off so we make sure she is in an elasticated waist skirt on PE days so she can do it quicker and on her own. So little things like that when choosing uniform items are worth considering (also socks are easier than tights for them to do themselves if they don't like asking for help)