In year transfer starts next week

[Peanuts79]

Hi,
I'm looking for some words of wisdom from folks who have been through this before. We are moving from Glasgow to Hampshire on Friday and our oldest will be starting in year 1 mid term next week. I'm starting to feel a little nervous for her as she has a good set of friends she's been with since nursery where she is now. She's good natured and sociable, whilst I know she'll be fine, I can't help but feel it's quite a big deal. Also I'm worried about the work as she is June birthday and only started school a couple of months ago up here and is now being fast-forwarded - has anyone any experience of Scotland to England primary transfers?

Thanks.

Nobody able to help, share stories, reassure me.....?

I think you will be surprised by how quickly she catches up with the rest of her cohort, if the school do help her as suggested in your post. I think it is important for your child that you do not transmit your anxieties to her. She will take the move in her stride at that age and only if you give her cause for concern will it become a problem. Be positive and expect everything to be OK.

It's a different situation, but I work as a nanny and in my younger days I looked after several children who coped wonderfully with transcontinental school moves. Twice to a country where they didn't even speak the language. It was hard for a couple of months, but they settled fine and soon caught onto academic and social expectations.
Both times I helped them write letters/emails to friends and family, I found out what was important to them by doing this so I could help them with problems they wouldn't have necessarily told me about. Secondly I made a big effort to talk to mums in the playground and arrange playdates, even if friendships didn't last they at least had someone they knew.

Thankyou. That is good advice to show her how proud I am of taking big changes in her stride and encourage her to blossom in anew environment. drinkyourmilk - kids are amazing aren't they and very resilient, certainly the kids you've worked with prove that and how adaptable they can be from change. I think you're right about the playground thing, setting up of play dates and us both throwing ourselves into it.

Hi Peanuts79

My advice is use your newness as an icebreaker with other parents.

'We're new here - do you know where the office is? where Y1 queues up in the morning?' etc... and then use that to ask some questions. 'What year are your children in?' etc....

Say hello. Try and learn names. Make small chat. - it all goes a long way to settling in.

Go to local park - great way to meet people who also go to the school.

Join some activities outside of school - useful and calming to have friends that have very little to do with your school & there may be some school friends there too - swimming, ballet, gymnastics, etc... great for this.

Don't be anxious to ensure she has friends from the get go - just like in Year R when she probably didn't know a lot of people - give it a term or two. Remember in Y1 (ages 5/6) some children are still really playing alongside rather than with other children. There moving towards having friends - but like any friendship it's time & shared experience that makes those bonds.

I suspect you're feeling a bit guilty for making such a major move during school - but just tell yourself lots of families do and their kids turn out great. My eldest niece moved 3 times during primary school - B-I-L was an academic moving up the greasy pole and she was both popular and unpopular - so there's no predicting - but S-I-L always took the attitude that school was just a part of life and not the be all and end all. At the last school, where she joined mid Year 6 and never really made a lot of friends, she made her friends through swimming, ballet & music (orchestra) - and many went on to the same senior school with her.

HTH

My dc haven't moved but have had quite a few new classmates and those who moved during yr 1 the class has easily assimilated. Generally the first few days everyone swarms around them so do warn her that she might find that everyone wants to play with her at first - a few children have found this overpowering. After half a term it will probably settle enough that she can reliably name her friends. Also I have found that different classes have different dynamics even within the same school. Dd1's class seems to have very fluid groups still in yr4 and she might play with different children every day of the week or sometimes playing together as a whole class. Although there may be best friends they don't always play together. dd2's class seems to be more fixed with different subgroups who might sometimes play with different children but who generally stick to their own group.

I don't think that either is wrong but children have found it harder if they have one model but the class has a different model - so girls who come with the idea that they must have 1 or 2 best friends find it hard in dd1's class because they try to play with just one child and become possessive wanting to play with that child every day, which tends to lead to arguments and the rest of the class are frustrated that one of their friends is no longer available to play without tears. This child though might slot in quite easily in dd2's class where it would be a matter of finding an existing group which they click with then always playing with that group. A child from dd1's class might find it harder in dd2's class always playing with the same two or three friends.

Both types of class seem to work well for the long term members but I know that some children have found it hard to adapt to different class dynamics.

I agree with trying to get to know the parents and arranging play dates etc. But also encourage her to be open to different ways of playing if the class dynamics are different to those which she is used to.

That's really helpful thankyou. Yes, I do feel guilty despite knowing a move was always likely in first few years of primary. This is the final one though. I agree school isn't the be all and end all, there is so much that matters outside of 9-3pm. I actually don't know where the office is, which playground I drop her off in etc so will undoubtedly be asking folks on the first morning.

I think the class she is moving from is really cliquey, especially the girls, and as this is my only school experience so far I thought everywhere was the same. Somewhat reassured to know not the case!

I'll keep you posted. Just packing at the moment for move on Friday...