DD sent home from school. The whole thing is odd.

[EdieWilliams]

On Wednesday DH and I both had work commitments which meant we would be unable to collect DC if they were ill at school....also DM, who would usually step in was away on holiday. I asked DH to provide school office with his parents contact details just in case the DC were taken ill (DS2 had gone to bed the previous evening complaining of a really bad headache).

So, DD "had a slight bang to her head" at lunchtime, and said her head was hurting so school tried to contact me, and then MIL, who collected DD.

When I went to collect DD from MIL's at 4pm she was obviously fine....no big egg....quite perky. I even got a guilty smirk when she saw me.

When I asked what happened she wouldn't tell me. I couldn't get any sense out of MIL either.

Later that evening DD explained she was with two boys from her class on the playground and was trying to talk to one of the boys who wasn't taking any notice of her...so she tried to get his attention by pushing him (it's obvious by the way she told me, she knew this was wrong)...the other boy took exception to this, took DD by the head, and repeatedly slammed her head into a bin. Cue DD crying, and being taken to first aid.

I checked the bins today...they are plastic, and even if someone slammed your head into then you wouldn't be too badly hurt.

But this is only DD's side of events...I phoned the school this morning to ask to be provided with what happened in writing. I mentioned to the office staff that if what DD said happened did, I would need to speak to the HT, and said I would be collecting DD at 3.40pm.

At 3.40pm no one was available at the junior site, so I still haven't spoken to anyone.

I am finding all of this odd;

1, There was nothing wrong with DD. She really didn't need sending home. I suspect DD was "milking" the situation.

2, If a child's head is slammed into a bin repeatedly, surely I should have been told....even though it was a plastic bin.....yes this child does have "form", which may be clouding my judgement.

3, She was sent home just before pm register. She hasn't missed a day of school in the last 2 years...we were trying to make it a hat trick. This may seem minor, but DD has really struggled academically as she's dyslexic, and really needs all the boots she can. A 100% attendance certificate means a lot to her. (I know this is a sensitive subject on MN!)

Well done if you've got this far. I'm trying not to drip feed.

Not sure what the issue is? If something was seriously up, you would be able to get out of work surely. Work is never that important.

As for "milking" and "smirking" - she's not that old. I bet she misses you a bit! How much do you work?

"If something was seriously up, you would be able to get out of work surely. Work is never that important."

Hahahhaha! I work in a school. It would not go down well if I tried to speak to DD's school during school (my working hours). I had to make a covert call this morning just to get this far.

Wrt the head injury search book bag there should be a form

wrt attendance I am assuming primary age child, how does she know how before/after registration send-home affects her attendance stats?

I feel that you are ascribing motives without grounds

It does seem odd. Can't your mil tell you what the school said?

Is it likely your DD might make up a story?

Did you tell your dd that you would check with school? I find this usually provokes a confession if the story isn't quite what happened.

did dd know there was an afternoon with grandma available??

The issue is...was DD injured because she had her head slammed repeatedly into a bin? If so, I should have been made aware of the nature of the accident.

I'm relying on an over dramatic 8yo to tell me what happened....no accident report or even a head bump letter.

Catsmamma I think DD had overheard me telling DH to give the school FIL and MIL contact details, but DD did know it was the after school club party, which she was looking forward to and missed, and was very cross about that!

wrt attendance I am assuming primary age child, how does she know how before/after registration send-home affects her attendance stats?

She doesn't - I do. I asked DD if she went home before or after register was taken. IMO, DD didn't need to come home.

There should defo be a head bump letter.

Wrt to "work is never that important" I totally agree but as a teacher I am sometimes on my knees asking to nip off. If you have commitments, you have commitments. Very hard to be a working parent sometimes :(

What I meant was if there was something really serious then yes you would be able to get out of it.

If it was really serious I would phone in sick and would have kept DD off school.

It's not that serious.....but it is odd. (Things would have been handled very differently in the school where I work). My colleagues are at what I've told them.

Have double checked book bag...no letter. School never does accident, forms, only a generic bumped head letter....but they did inform my of "a slight bang to the head" on my voice mail"

The thing is I'm not sure what I wan't the school to do now......If DD did have her head slammed into a bin, then I would have liked the other child excluded to be talked to....but two days later is a bit late.

You say DD is likely to have "milked it." Well, the school staff have to go on what they are presented with. If a child has had a head injury and continues to be upset, complaining of pain, etc then yes, we call parents, or the contact number. We tell them what we know and how they appear, and usually the parent/contact will com and collect.

Yes, in such a situation I would expect a parent to be informed as to how the incident occurred. Even if it was a plastic bin "slamming a head" into it is a very serious, violent reaction from a child. The child being hurt is obviously going to tell the parent so it is important the informtion comes from school first imo. I assume school do knpw how it occurred, that DD told them? If so, then I would go and speak to the HT about this tomorrow.

You think your DD was milking it and made more of the situation than she needed to, and that she also likes receiving her 100% attendance certificate. Well now, on top of missing the ASC party, she will not get her certificate. If she was milking it - then I guess this is her own self served punishment isn't it? If she wasn't milking it - well, its just one of those things.

Where I work we don't do specific accident forms ad jst send out a generic head bump note home. We call to let a parent know about it at the time if deemed necessary, otherwise the teacher will let the adult collecting know. As your child went home with her grandparent earlier maybe the staff informed grandparent and what to look out for, etc instead of just giving the note.

The incident however should be noted in the school's accident book - stating what happened, when and what injury occurred.

If I'm being totally honest; DD didn't know the name of the first aider...the voicemail message was from someone I didn't know....the usual staff know our family very well, and would have been able to tell if DD was milking it or was genuinely hurt.

I am being totally unreasonable I wish the office staff (who usually administer first aid) weren't on hand for DD.

But I still need to hear the schools side of what happened. I will be the whinging parents there at 8am or 4pm on the last day of term.

If you hadn't had problems with childcare that day, for example say you'd been at home anyway, would this have bothered you?

It seems to me that you're annoyed more as it happened on the day when childcare was difficult. And if your DD knew this, then I can see why you'd be suspicious of her. I don't agree with the concept that she's too young to be plotting, but then you don't state her age (I think).

From the school's point of view, if a child complains of having hit their head and says they're in continuous pain, then they should send them home. What would you have said if they'd sent her back to class, and it turned out she was concussed?!