Meeting re DS absence level, advice needed please.

[Grockle]

DS(8) has had a rotten term. He's been off school several times:

1. CAMHS apt (he was suicidal and he has a 100% attendance record so I took an early morning apt) he was at school by 10. All other apts have been after school.

2. Horrible infection in stitched wound on his chin... it was dripping and swollen and painful - DS couldn't speak. 1 day.

3. STRIKE day - school texted 10 minutes before the doors opened to say that 3 of the classes (out of 12) were open. They didn't mention DS's so he stayed home. They sent a text later to say his class was open but by then I'd kept him off. I was very unwell at the time. It was recorded as unauthorised.

4. Awful sickness bug - 3 days (following school's 48 hr policy)

Obviously, the absence due to strike & CAMHS were avoidable and I could have sent him in after he was sick. I'm upset because til now, DS has rarely had any time off.

What will happen at the meeting?

The school cannot have it both ways with the sickness bug.

A day of sickness/diarrhoea must have 2 full "well days" before he can go back. Their rules. They cannot demand he returns before that because that is their own goddam policy.

Strike day- they failed to communicate in a timely manner as to which classes were open. Due to their own failure, DS failed to attend.

At the meeting they will probably ask you to provide proof of illness for the rest of the year. So, prescription meds/ record of visit to gp etc.

He is 8yo and suicidal?

Otherwise I don't think that sounds like a massive amount of time off tbh so would be more annoyed than concerned that they want to talk to you about it. The strike day in particular is really annoying and if the school haven't been organised enough to tell you in advance one way or another thats their fault.

That's 11 sessions absence out of 148 possible for this term. 7.43% absence taking his attendance down to 92.5%.

They'll probably be fine once you've explained the absences, but they have to flag it.

DD3 started school this term and has had 2 sick bugs and two ear infections. She's heading for 10 sessions missed, which will take her attendance down to 93%. I'm not that worried though, because a) I sent her to school with the ear infection and they were dosing her with calpol at school because she was clearly not too well and b) her sister has 100% attendance and they attend the same school, so it would be ludicrous of me to let just one of them skive

Yes, girlie... he was Much better now though, thankfully.

I am annoyed more than worried. When I explained why DS wasn't in school on the strike day, the head sent me a snotty letter saying that other parents sent their kids (apparently they tweeted it - I'm not on twitter) & there was a poster put up at school to say it was open

If DS had loads of time off usually, I'd be worried but he's never ill & I don't keep him off every time he coughs or sneezes. I have to take unpaid leave to be home with him so it's not in my interest to keep him off!

And also, he's doing well in school - he's in top sets, his teacher has no concerns, he's not going to the nurture group any more, I read with him at home & help with homework.

I think it's probably just a standard letter, prompted by the local authority. I teach in another local school and the LA have just checked our attendance so I guess it's the same thing.

But school KNOW why he was off on all those occasions so I don't see what me talking to them will do. Do I really have to take him to the dr if he has a temperature/ tummy bug?

Also, when DS was off with sickness, 11 other children were absent with the same thing. And the school cancelled their residential because too many staff & pupils were ill.

I only make that 5 days and 1 hour for hosp app.

I am sure that is not that unusual.

Schools seem very twitchy about time off at the mo. Glad he is feeling better now.

It's all done in sessions now. So each day counts as two registration sessions missed.

Gosh they are being a little keen. My dd ended up with just over 85% attendance last year and most of the absences were over one term. School weren't pleased but knew how ill she was and we were never asked to go in about it.

Just go in, be very polite, keep your voice low and pleasant but put the ball gently back in their court:

what do they want you to do about D&V if their own rules say 48 hours?

what do they propose to do to ensure information about strikes etc reaches those parents who are not on Twitter?

given that your ds has need of CAHMS intervention for his safety and that you cannot choose your own appointments, what should you do in a case like this?

DD2 will get a shirty letter again, but she has had 10 full days off, all explainable.

Very probably she'll not miss another session this year.

Long senior days seem to mean she picks up every bug going. She was ill in Y7 too, far more than primary.

I also wonder if DDs feel grotty once a month well before their periods start. DD1 had odd days off, inexplicably looking like death.

The strike day will not be counted as absence and neither will his CAMHS appointment which leaves 4 days or 8 sessions - 94% attendance which I'm afraid falls below gov targets. I'm sure the school will be understanding but they have hoops they must jump through

A meeting after 4 days poorly? Daft, as most kids will have at least one 4 day illness in their school careers. If I was asked to take a day off work to attend a meeting about my child having one 4 day illness, the response would start with 'f' and end in 'off.'

Cory, thank you for the practical suggestions - I'm rubbish at phrasing things - and to everyone for sharing their experience & suggestions.

mrz, the strike day WAS counted as unauthorised because the school was actually open - I just got a message that said a few classes were open, not DS's so didn't send him in. And CAMHS apt was counted because he wasn't in school for registration. His attendance is just over 91%. They have sent me a print out of his attendance record. I replied to their request for me to go in for a meeting 'to ensure their files are up to date' letting them know 2 days when I am available to meet but they've not responded. The head never responded to my original letter requesting to meet her to discuss his unauthorised absence on the strike day.

What a waste if time. Have they nothing better to do?! He is 8!!!!!!

I feel that way too, bish. If there were other issues, then I'd understand. But I met with school a couple of weeks ago to review his situation re nurture group & settling in & nothing was mentioned. They (young carers support worker, nurture group teacher, class teacher, deputy head, pupil welfare officer) all said he is doing really well! The biggest issue was him swinging on his chair.

If they don't respond to my letter tomorrow, I'll make an appointment to see the head, I think. I'm quite cross. My mother (Ofsted inspector, head teacher & adviser with her LA) is fuming and chomping at the bit to march into DS's school.

Is it quite a large school? I once got a letter from ds secondary school after he had had a week of with flu and numerous hospital appointments for a chronic condition, I was fuming!!!

School did apologised and explained it was a standard letter and they're under a lit of pressure to keep their attendance levels up to maintain their offsted status.

My other ds suffers mental health problems so I sympathise with the stress of this, and would be fuming at the insensitivity

Wow Grockle it must be really helpful having an Ofsted inspector in the family. I am having major problems with a school at the moment myself - does your mum give advice at all?

Thanks Bish... yes, it's big - 500 children in a junior school. I don't want to become 'that' parent but I fear I am. It's all so impersonal.

Wintry... It's not always helpful but she does know what she's talking about, so I can ask her. PM me if you like. Sorry you are having trouble - things at my school are tricky atm so I sympathise.

Will do Grockle. Thanks.