Would really appreciate your advice.

[kowab]

Apologies for this being my first post and asking for help but we are really at our wits end. I will try to contribute in the future.

Our 5 year old grandson as been as good as excluded from his primary school. They say he is unmanageable and disrupts the class so that they cannot teach and the other children are suffering. There have been complaints by other parents.

We live in a very rural village. The village school has a roll of around 30 and the children are taught in two classes. Incidentally around half the children are ‘special needs’

My grandson is allowed into school just for 3 hours a day from 9.10 to 12.10. He spends his time in a small room with an unqualified TA (the dance teacher up to this point). He is not being taught the usual curriculum and is falling behind with reading and math. He was previously described as being very bright. The school have requested a Statement. They admit that the current situation is a ‘holding’ strategy.

He began at the school at the age of 4 and a quarter, so has been there over a year. I believe that this is where the problem started. The only other boy in that year is 9 months older than him and has two older siblings. He was subjected to bullying fairly quickly after starting (the staff admit this may have been the case) and we have witnessed it since.

We now have to make a decision as we cannot allow this to continue any further. There is a larger school (which the staff say he needs) about 5 miles away which, although difficult, we could manage to get him there every day. However, my daughter (who I should have said lives with us – single parent), is determined to move to a town about 15 miles away as soon as she can. There are several excellent schools in this town and I am sure she will be very happy there and will still be able to continue working full time, even without so much support from us.

What would you do:

1. Leave things as they are until his mum can make the move (could be up to six months), even though he is becoming more and more isolated. He is becoming more and more distressed, especially as some of the children are now saying he is in that room because no one likes him. He spends the whole afternoon with me which, although I try to do lots of crafty things, play games and cook with him, I know he would rather be with other children. He is very sociable.

2. As above and get a tutor for a couple of hours in the afternoon to ensure that he keeps up with his learning.

3. Move him to the school 5 miles away, then move him again when mum is able to make the move that she wants to do.

Any advice or comments on the situation would be much appreciated.

1. Sorry you are going thru this; it sounds like socially the school is a disaster & that would worry me much more than any other factor.

I would agree with 3 too . Poor little boy , hope you can get it sorted quickly

Hi Kowab:

Gosh I'm so sorry to be hearing your grandson has had such a rough start to Y1.

I think rather than worry about any of these 3 points I'd be asking to see the HT:

You need to understand what exactly is the problem. Sure they've told you he's unmanageable - but why is he kicking off? What's upsetting him? Does he behave like this at home? If the answer is no - then something is going dreadfully wrong at school.

1. Are they getting in an educational psychologist to work with your DS? Because they should - they've already told you this is more than they can deal with.
2. What are they doing in terms of progressing his learning?
3. Can they give you resources/ worksheets/ books/ etc... to support learning at home (keeping him up with his peers).

I think the purpose of this meeting should be to understand whether the HT feels this situation can be resolved for your DS.

It sounds a single form school and that may be the difficulty. It's easier for them to blame the victim than deal with the bully. However, I think you need to be willing to hear that your grandson is also a problem and open to having to change things at home/ at school.

Finally, just keep telling yourself he's 5. If you all feel he's a good boy, then that isn't going to change. If you feel the school don't want to work with you, it sounds like in a few months you can change that too.

I know it is upsetting - but this is a problem for you, your grandson and the school. You need to get at what is going on to set your grandson off, how he can manage his anger/ disruptive behaviour and how to get things back on track. The good news is that you can set a limit for working with the school to resolve this. If nothing has improved by the end of the school year, then change schools - let your daughter move to the other town and start fresh. But in the meantime - go (with your Daughter - because I find HTs hate being outnumbered) and talk to the HT. Ask hijm/her what they suggest should be done and ask for an individual lesson plan for your grandson for next term.

Most importantly, if this is a case of bullying - you need to be assured they are also dealing with the bully and not just isolating the victim.

HTH

I honestly don't believe that with the correct support any 5 year old is unmanageable. It seems like the school are very keen for this little boy to leave. What kind of professional so readily admits to failing a child.

I would complain and complain but ultimately would move him so he can have a fresh start at a school willing to welcome him.

Out of interest, what do you think? How does he behave fo you?

Excellent advice from 'pastsellbydate.'
I am a reception teacher, and have to say the treatment of your grandson sounds very bizarre. Ive never known a 5yr old be kept in isolation.
It would be really helpful to know what he is like at home...do you admit he has a severe behaviour problem like they are suggesting? If so school should be working with you on strategies to use out of school that are similar to what is being used in school.
If he is fine at home (but you must be honest with yourself on this one), then i'd be extremely concerned and demand a meeting with the Head!

So sorry. It makes me so angry to hear of these type of exclusions. Why the hell can't they manage his behaviour? Is he violent? Does he hurt other children within lessons? This is the only reason I can ever see would justify this.

Why can a larger school cope with it but this school not?? Why can't the TA support him in lessons?

I would move him but as if tomorrow I would insist that he sits in the class with his adult support. What outside involvement have they had? Have they referred him to an e.p if he's that badly behaved?

No school should be saying a child of 5 is unteachable. If I was the parent I would be logging this with ofsted.
I'm a teacher and the only child I've had experience of internal exclusion was a 9 year old who threw a chair across the room. Have worked in inner London schools for 8 years, been teaching 13 years and this situation has made me very sad. The school are failing this boy.

Ps- I understand that he will be disruptive to the class but if we excluded every disruptive child they'd be a lot of children out of education. As teachers it's our job to find a motivator and a way to support that child develop his behaviour. As pastsellbydate says, it's also the schools place to delve into why this behaviour is triggered. They have given up on him and its unforgivable.

Ppa- sorry...last point...have never worked I a small school but how is it possible for bullying to occur when there's only 30 pupils. Surely they're always with an adult and as such a small group it would be fairly easy to spit and unpick any problems between friends etc.

Have you started the statementing process if not contact ipsea. You can start the process yourself.
Contact SOSSEN for advice. Re post with the term exclusion in the title and hopefully some experts will come along and tell you if what the school are doing is legal. I suspect not.

Can I suggest that you post in the special educational needs section as there are some very knowledgable people there who will be able to support you with the legalities of the situation as it is at present.

From what I've read on MN, I think the school may be acting illeagally in failing to provide your dgs with a full time education.

Little fish is correct, the school is acting illegally.

Part time timetables are illegal except in very exceptional circumstances and as part of an agreed reintegration plan; even then, they should only be used as a short term measure.

This is an illegal exclusion.

The LEA has a legal obligation to provide all children with a full time education (25 hours per week)- if the school absolutely cannot provide this, then alternative provision (from a DFES registered provider, not home tuition) should be made.

I would contact the exclusions officer at the LEA and explain what is happening, and ask what alternative provision will be out in place so your grandson can access the full time education he is entitled to.

guidance here

Thanks for all your replies. In answer to your queries.

A Statement has been initiated by the school and the paperwork is all in. The school say that it can take 3 months for a decision and they think this is a deliberate delaying tactic.

He is currently the subject of a CAF. We have been to two meetings with the appropriate professionals. In the first it was decided on his exclusion with a view to getting him back in class. The second meeting came to the same action point. There is no date set for another meeting.

He sees a counsellor one morning a week, which my daughter sometimes attends too. The purpose of her being there seems to be to observe her with him. The feedback to her has been that she is great with him - she is. She attended a parenting course too, the feedback was very good on that too. For some reason it was necessary to give this feedback to my daughter and all other attendees at the last CAF meeting.

With regard to his behaviour. Yes, he can be a handful. We are under no illusions. However, we are able to handle him with little problem. I have noticed that the school have a different approach on discipline. Perhaps this is the problem. For example, he took a toy into school last week (not allowed). I found it secreated about his person when he took his coat off. I told him that he shouldn't have taken it in and that he should know that and that he would not get the toy back for the rest of the day. He screamed and cried and generally made a fuss. A teacher came up to him, crouched down to his level and sympathised with him that he was unhappy because granny had taken his toy away.

In class they say that he doesn't listen, gets very excited and hits out in his excitement so has hit a teacher and other children in his excitement. I do not believe these are deliberate attacks on others. At least not until the situation becomes hopeless.

The HT is the Recep and year 1 and 2 teacher. No problem in calling a meeting with her at any time, in fact we did so yesterday at very short notice. The only teacher that doesn't have a problem with him is the teacher of the older children. He is male, a very gentle but I understand firm man, who is spending a great deal of time and effort on him.

His father is absent - just an occasional phone call but he does have a very hands on granddad.

The Ed psyc saw him last year because the school thought that he was emotionally underdeveloped. The EP said that he was not prepared to statement a child so young and would look at it again when he was 5.

After hearing more I would be inclined to go with 3. Especially if he is unhappy. What does your daughter think?