Friends in reception?

[Mittensonkittens]

I had to go into school about something unrelated and the teacher mentioned that ds is basically a bit of a loner. He hasn't really made any friends.
He's an only child, I would describe him as very sociable but he's used to mainly adults and older children. He has some friends away from school who he's known since he was born and he plays very well with them, always excited to see them etc.

He's one of the younger ones in his year and I would say he's quite sensitive. For example he'd always ask to play rather than just join in and if he was told 'no' he would go off on his own and probably not try again. He plays better with girls than boys generally and likes a lot of imaginary play.

He's happy at school and hasn't mentioned that he hasn't got any friends. I think he will play with groups of children but hasn't got any specific friends who he plays with repeatedly.
When I take him places he will chat to anyone and he has an extremely wide vocabulary.

Does this fall under normal for reception? I'm a bit worried now.

Infant teacher speaking:

If he's happy, and hasn't mentioned it, I wouldn't recommend bringing it up. It'll only plant unhelpful thoughts in his head.

Although, it is quite normal at this age to not have a particular friend. In fact, I often find myself saying to Reception parents that "he's happy to play with anyone really!" It's good for them to "try out" a range of different people. And as a younger one, who is a bit shy/sensitive, and as an only child, it might just be that he hasn't quite matured enough into the "actively seeking out others to play with" thing. It'll come in time.

If he were a child in my class, I'd recommend that you approach a couple of the mums of children he has mentioned and invite their child round for tea. Or perhaps suggest meeting up at the local soft play place?

You can encourage friendships by saying things like "Who did you play with today?" and if he says something nice about a person, encourage it, "Oh James let you have a turn on the scooter? It sounds like he's a good friend to have."

Some children need a little bit of help to associate "People who are nice to us" with "people who would be a good friend".

If he talks about someone he played with, encourage him to explain what they did to you, "You both played in the house? It sounds like you had a lovely time playing together! Alfie must be a really good friend."
It'll help him associate various people with the "friend role".

OP my DS is similar to this. YOung for his year group, great with adults, prefers to hang out with the girls and seems happy but no specific friends in reception. I stressed about it massively last year. He's in year one now and he is just now beginning to have friends who he consistently mentions (and we are even starting play dates). It has been a huge relief for me and I think, like the previous poster said, it was just a question of time.

Great advice from zingally I'd second the idea of initiating having some friends to play.

It's good for them to mix well with everyone in their class too - you don't always get to work in a group with your friends for example - and too intense friendships bring their own issues imho.

I bet that over time your ds will start to gravitate to some children more than others. Are the staff helping him to join in with games? I know that at our school the reception TA usually supervises reception playtime and keeps an eye on them all to make sure noone feels lonely.

Does he like football? And would he be allowed to take a ball in for break/lunchtimes? DS is football mad and started taking a ball in in Reception. Instant popularity! Now he's in Yr1 and they have breaktimes with other year groups, he's made friends with children from other years too.