Is anyone else's Reception child still having lots of accidents?

[MegBusset]

Just looking for reassurance that it's normal really! DS2 has never had great bladder control but was mostly fine before starting school in Sept. Now he is having accidents most days, either at school or on the way home. His teacher is very kind and sympathetic, I suppose I thought it would settle down more quickly than this!

Anyone else?

Hi there.
My DS started reception in September he was still struggling to be dry all day before school started, but we have taught him to take responsibility for his accidents, so he knows to tell us and get changed and put wet things in the laundry basket. I was really worried about this issue before school started and we had a home visit from his teacher and she has been very supportive. He is getting better every week but it has taken him a long time to adjust to school and the different routines within the school day. What helps him is having easy access to the toilet, when sitting in groups on the carpet he is allowed to 'just go' rather than waiting for someone to see his hand up, always being sat near the back on an outside edge so there is no one to climb over to get out to the toilet, his teacher makes it her habit when they get ready to do something, like assembly, to get everyone to go to the toilet, and then ask DS to go again if he needs to (he seems to have a very small bladder and doesn't always empty fully as he's always in a hurry). His teacher recognises that he goes to the toilet much more than anyone else during the day and so makes allowances for this. Talk to your sons teachers, there are lots of things they can do to make this easier for him, he will get there it is just taking him a little longer. My DS's problems were made worse by his nursery, if he'd just been to the toilet and he asked to go again, they would say "no you've just been" and then he would have an accident, he then just stopped asking and wet himself, then lost all confidence about asking to go and about going to the toilet altogether. You need to make sure the accidents are not due to some barrier your son may see as being in the way of going. Hope this helps.

My reception DD still has a fair few accidents, she hasn't had one at school so far but they are quite frequent at home, usually just leaving it too late to get to the toilet on time. I think it's really normal, they are still really little.

Hi MegBusset

If your DC is on the 'young' side then this is still perfectly normal.

A great friend of mine with twins has one twin with constant bladder infections and real bladder control issues. They've found that regular breaks - so before play breaks and 30 minutes after lunch have made a huge difference. She also ensures there's a trip to the loo just before going to school and right after they get home.

Her DD has learned to go (just in case) rather than think it's all o.k. - because this little girl doesn't seem to have any sensation of a full bladder. Also they've realised the bladder infections result from 'holding it' far too long.

It's taken a bit of work each year with teachers (YR and now Y1) to get this system in place - but most teachers would prefer to establish a routine that avoids an accident and all the disruption/ ensuing chaos/ embarrassment that can cause.

Also - if you haven't already - may be an idea to send a spare change of clothes & some extra nickers to school. They can just go in the PE Kit. In Year R - we sent in sweat pants and a spare pair of underwear in DD1's PE kit - and it definitely got some use.

HTH

Infant teacher here:

On the practical side, it REALLY makes life easier if the child has a clean change of clothes, trousers, pants and socks, in their book bag or PE bags, which the teacher and teaching assistant know about.

It means that the child can be quickly sorted out, into clothes that fit, without the teacher having to scrabble around in the spares box for clothes that usually don't fit too well!

As for having accidents most days... It's not uncommon. Although you may find that the teacher suggests taking him to the doctors to get checked out, just in case its something more.

The school should be encouraging him to go at every transition time, like before assembly, before lunch, after lunch.

It might get to the stage though where he needs something a little more personal, like a chart. Every day that he manages without an accident, he gets a special sticker, leading up to a bigger reward. I've done that with Receptions and it works well. You could run that from home if you wanted. A big fuss if he comes home without a plastic bag of wet stuff, and an "Oh well, never mind", if he does. You say he was dry before he started school, so he's clearly capable of being dry, he just needs a little encouragement. ;)

I agree with everything, but please be careful with reward charts, make sure that the issue is behavioural and not physical first.

Thanks everyone :) His teacher is brilliant and she is encouraging him to go at regular intervals, like a previous poster said, I think he needs to get into the habit of going regularly whether he needs to or not, because it seems by the time his brain gets the 'need to wee' signal it's too late unless he's right next to a loo!

He is hypermobile which I've read can be linked to bladder issues because of weak muscle tone, I don't think there's much can be done on that side but I will take him to the GP if it hasn't improved in a few weeks.

We're doing a star chart too, we did this back in Sept and it helped but I thought I'd see how he got along without it, evidently he needs the incentive!

my dd did this, she potty trained early, but was always one for leaving it too late and having accidents.
She had loads of accidents. Her TA was great and reminded her all the time, I often sent her back in at home time to have a wee, especially if we were calling in eg at library on the way home. Her pe kit had tracksuit, but also spare knickers and socks.

As she got older, I put a note in her lunch box. It had a smiley on it and when she saw it she knew she had to remember to go for a wee.

I sat down with her a plastic bottle and showed her about how when it was half full and she emptied it, she had more space for wee to fill up. We call it doing a safety wee, so her bladder is empty with lots of ''safe space'' in it. We do that eg before getting in the car.

She got there in the end. Now she is 8, and still dashes to the loo on occasion!

My ds1 who is now in year 2 had to start reception in nappies, he was having several accidents a day.he is now currently having physio for low muscle tone so sounds similar to your Ds
The main thing that worked for us is a wobl watch, you set it for various times during the day (we liaised with the teachers as to what the best times were to fit in with the days timetable. It then vibrates so they are reminded to go to the toilet. It's been a long road and he still has accidents when engrossed on computer etc but he rarely has accidents at school anymore and no longer wears the watch.
I could write pages about what we tried and what seemed to work and what didn't but it would be an essay so let me know if you want anymore advice. I have been there and got the soggy tshirt. It does get better and am hoping the physio will help even more

Oh and dd is a child who really likes to please. So she would never interupt a session to ask to go to the toilet, she didn't want to miss any carpet time, or half a story.

She also has very poor ''full bladder alert'' and always has had, so she doesn't notice that she is full until she is bursting.

I also would be careful with charts, what you can do is give sticker/smiley face for remembering to do the safety wee at play time and lunchtime, rather than for being dry.

And the more often they wee, the less in the bladder so if they do have an accident, it isn't such a disaster.